Smoking while pregnant.. is it child abuse?

[marley2580]

You'd need more options than yoga and therapy. There's no way the majority of working class people are suddenly going to take up yoga. Yoga and similar activities are perceived as very middle class and tree hugger like

 

[Laura2919]

Some people dont have time to do yoga and therapy doesnt help everyone

 

[Aidan's Mummy]

But during that time I still believe they should be weaned off it. Not forced to go cold turkey x

 

[Lightworker]

Why is there the persistent use of phrases like "there's no way..." or "it will never..."? I volunteer in a community that consists of a significant amount of "hard to reach" residents and initially, they never attended our activities etc but now they are coming to everything in large numbers. Impossible is nothing to me. We can encourage people to try new things, consumerism is evidence of that, I mean, sure there was a time when no one would have thought of eating a curry from India, but now.....

 

[Lightworker]

Yoga and therapy are just afew examples off the top of my head. The idea that yoga and therapy seem middle class is a minor issue that can easily be tackled by the way in which they are promoted to show that they transcend class and other barriers.

 

[redpoppy]

I think the real issue of calling it abuse is that it instantly to me suggests the child needs to be taken away from the parent in such a situation. This is impossible until the child is born and once the child is born I feel that it is an extreme consequence.

It is irresponsible to become pregnant if you are a smoker in my opinion. But to suggest someone is incapable of looking after their child because they were unable to overcome their addiction is what stops me from considering it abuse.

 

[BlackBerry25]

We've all said it's not ok in our opinions however that doesn't give us the right to impede on others' free will. It's extremely simple, the line is drawn by birth and the dependent foetus becoming an independent person. There is no meeting in the middle, either you believe a foetus has rights or you don't. This is like theism versus atheism. One side can never understand the other.

Exactly.

Right now we have free will, and the more we make restrictions, the worse society becomes. People are able to think for themselves. I don't like it, but it shouldn't be illegal. It already is promoted as unhealthy as much as it can be, and thats that.

Maybe cigarettes in general should just be illegal.

 

[Dragonfly]

I went cold turkey on anti depressants and smoking at the same time. Was very ill. More scared of what they would do to baby though. You really do need will power.

 

[NuKe]

i smoke. i quit when i was pregnant, and STUPIDLY STUPIDLY started again when poppy was around 12 weeks. stress of an infant, eh? but i only smoke outside, when she is asleep or for example if i can see her eating lunch in her highchair through the window and immediately change my clothes and brush my teeth after every cigarette. i think pregnant women need to get a LOT more help to quit, to be perfectly honest the main reason i was able to quit was the extreme nausia i had in first tri. the only help i got was midwives barking at me to stop. i dont think it can be classed as child abuse, but its certainly not right.

 

[sjminimac]

i smoked 20 a day for more or less 10 years, and the second i got my bfp i stopped completely cold turkey. It was hard don't get me wrong but every time i craved a cig i pictured my unborn baby smoking. A disgusting image which completely killed any desire to smoke and i still have no intention of starting back up and charlie is almost 6 months old. As to whether it's child abuse? Wow. Strong question. I think it's wrong to smoke whilst pregnant yes, and find it very uncomfortable talking to people who do smoke throughout because i know they can quit, i did it myself. But i don't think that means they'll be a bad parent when the child is born. Although they are putting the unborn child at unnecessary risk...i don't know. Heart says no head says yes.

 

[bubbles]

I have aired my views on this before but will happily do it again.
Yes I do think it is abuse, I believe that as soon as a woman either decides to become pregnant or discovers she is pregnant she gives up her "human rights" she is no longer a singular person. You are growing a little human being, you are their incubator, their life source. Your body is no longer YOURS to abuse it has been taken over by someone far more important than a selfish indulgance. I was a smoker, a heavy smoker at that (at least 20 per day depending on the sort of day I had) I smoked from the age of 11, as soon as I found out I was pregnant I stopped because it was the right thing to do, because my child deserved the right to a safe enviroment inside and outside my body

 

[rainbows_x]

Say if a child went to school everyday stinking of cigarette smoke, should the teachers alert social services? I don't think so, it is not abuse, although it would obviously be bad for the childs health/

Is it okay to smoke in a car with a child/baby with all the windows up/down? I would never do that. Also if someone was in the car with me and wanted to smoke I would outright say no, I'd rather walk.

Do you think pregnant women should have nicotine screening? I think it would help, it wouldv've helped me I believe, but I think some people may find it an invasion in privacy, and some wouldn't be affected by it at all.

If a baby is born with health problems due to the mother smoking, should that mother be punished? No, I think they would feel the guilt for themselves if they thought smoking was the reason, and what kind of punishment could you actually give?

Why is it illegal to smoke inside pubs/shops/clubs due to the human right of not having to breathe harmful smoke in, but it isn't illegal to force the smoke upon an unborn baby? You can't tell people what to do in the comofrt of their own home I guess, within reason.

I smoke but never around Ava, I don't like anyone smoking around her. I am trying my best to quit, I did for a while when I was pregnant and I'm only on about one a day now, it's only a matter of time, but if someone accused me of abusing my child due to smoking whilst pregnant I'd be livid, I feel guilt every day for it, many don't.

 

[Dopeyjopey]

I kept writing a response to this debate and then deleting for fear of being judged but I don't particularly care right this instant so here goes!

I have to say that there are circumstances when smoking is the only was you have of relieving stress or coping. For example, when my sister was pregnant she was also homeless and sleeping on sofas etc, in addition to this she had money worries and her partner was being a bit of a dick. She continued to smoke during all this because she didn't have any other way of dealing with it all, in fact trying to quit with circumstances such as those would have been bad for both her and the baby, would you say she was being abusive? If so what sanction would you have placed on her?

This isn't a sob story but here's what was going on in my life when I fell pregnant and the reasons I couldn't give up...

I fell pregnant one month into a new relationship. I was off sick from work because of a particularly bad patch of manic depression and had to stop taking my medication. I moved house, my relationship broke down (and some nasty things happened but I will not talk about them), i wanted to commit suicide a number of times and was hospitalised because of my thoughts. I was put at risk of redundancy, had to move back in with my mum and start looking for somewhere else to live. Considering the amount of medication I was on before, I'm surprised I made it through what I did at all. I will still say that I don't think myself or Albert would be here if I hadn't been able to have the odd smoke as a form of relieving stress. Also, my midwife didn't say 'the stress could be worse trying to give up etc' she literally said 'i don't think you should consider giving up right now' and that was when I was telling her that I felt like I should give up. To say that I am a child abuser is not fair at all - it was definitely the lesser of two evils considering what I was planning to do throughout various stages in my pregnancy

I have to say that there are circumstances when smoking is the only was you have of relieving stress or coping. For example, when my sister was pregnant she was also homeless and sleeping on sofas etc, in addition to this she had money worries and her partner was being a bit of a dick. She continued to smoke during all this because she didn't have any other way of dealing with it all, in fact trying to quit with circumstances such as those would have been bad for both her and the baby, would you say she was being abusive? If so what sanction would you have placed on her?

Im really sorry for your sisters situation that must have been truly awful for her. Obviously her circumstance at the time was out of the ordinary But quitting would have been better for her stress levels after the initial hardship.

Whatever the circumstance , it still doesnt make it right, or doesnt change the fact that its harming ur unborn child

What if someone doesn't make it through that 'initial hardship' you talk about? For some people stress isn't a slight inconvenience that makes them a little ratty, it's an all encompassing black hole you get dragged down until you can't see daylight any more. Or alternatively their brain is not able to turn off at all which means no sleep, no ability to make a meal, not even being able to have a conversation. To suggest someone just needs to man up and deal with
it is completely naive.

 

[aob1013]

I keep thinking about this thread, and the term abuse.

When i think of abuse, i think intentional malcious hurt. I think Baby P, i think sexual and physical abuse.

I don't think Mum's in pregnancy who smoke are smoking intentionally to be malicious and hurt their baby's, i just think it's a severe addiction, and some Mum's just don't or just cannot give up

I think abuse is an intent to hurt, maliciously.

I really don't think smoking in pregnancy equates to that

 

[Dopeyjopey]

I keep thinking about this thread, and the term abuse.

When i think of abuse, i think intentional malcious hurt. I think Baby P, i think sexual and physical abuse.

I don't think Mum's in pregnancy who smoke are smoking intentionally to be malicious and hurt their baby's, i just think it's a severe addiction, and some Mum's just don't or just cannot give up

I think abuse is an intent to hurt, maliciously.

I really don't think smoking in pregnancy equates to that

Exactly - I don't think any woman smokes in the hope that their child will be early/low birth weight/asthmatic etc and that's what I would consider abuse.

 

[Aidan's Mummy]

I keep thinking about this thread, and the term abuse.

When i think of abuse, i think intentional malcious hurt. I think Baby P, i think sexual and physical abuse.

I don't think Mum's in pregnancy who smoke are smoking intentionally to be malicious and hurt their baby's, i just think it's a severe addiction, and some Mum's just don't or just cannot give up

I think abuse is an intent to hurt, maliciously.

I really don't think smoking in pregnancy equates to that

x

 

[kiwimama]

I keep thinking about this thread, and the term abuse.

When i think of abuse, i think intentional malcious hurt. I think Baby P, i think sexual and physical abuse.

I don't think Mum's in pregnancy who smoke are smoking intentionally to be malicious and hurt their baby's, i just think it's a severe addiction, and some Mum's just don't or just cannot give up

I think abuse is an intent to hurt, maliciously.

I really don't think smoking in pregnancy equates to that

I have heard women on here talking about friends or acquantices who have said they are happy to continue smoking because "at least the baby won't grow too big" and things along those lines though...

 

[aob1013]

I keep thinking about this thread, and the term abuse.

When i think of abuse, i think intentional malcious hurt. I think Baby P, i think sexual and physical abuse.

I don't think Mum's in pregnancy who smoke are smoking intentionally to be malicious and hurt their baby's, i just think it's a severe addiction, and some Mum's just don't or just cannot give up

I think abuse is an intent to hurt, maliciously.

I really don't think smoking in pregnancy equates to that

I have heard women on here talking about friends or acquantices who have said they are happy to continue smoking because "at least the baby won't grow too big" and things along those lines though...

Those women are in the minority, and if they have that attitude, then obviously there's something wrong in their heads and I think it could equate to abuse.

However, the majority of women are the opposite.

 

[BunnyFace]

Im not really sure what i think. I agree with aob but if you are smoking whilst pregnant you are doing so knowing that it is having a negative impact on your unborn child.

I dont agree with smoking around children/whilst pregnant at all but i can also appriciate that it is an addiction and the mind set of most smoking pregant women isn't "im going to smoke to purposefully hurt my child" most are ridden with guilt which is where i agree with what Ally is saying. But what could also be taken into account is that some child abusers do feel guilt after harming a child :shurg: and as soon as you choose to become a parent, your childs health should be paramount, not your addictions.

If i see someone with a child/pregnant smoking my automatic thought isnt "oh she is an abuser" it's more disgust iygwim? But thats also influenced with my personal dislike to smoking in general, not the individual. Its a tough one!
I hope that makes sense

 

[ShanandBoc]

I keep thinking about this thread, and the term abuse.

When i think of abuse, i think intentional malcious hurt. I think Baby P, i think sexual and physical abuse.

I don't think Mum's in pregnancy who smoke are smoking intentionally to be malicious and hurt their baby's, i just think it's a severe addiction, and some Mum's just don't or just cannot give up

I think abuse is an intent to hurt, maliciously.

I really don't think smoking in pregnancy equates to that

I can see where u are coming from, but lets look at the excuse 'addiction'.

Any mother who smokes KNOWS she is harming her unborn child. The child may or may not have long term, life long effects from her smoking. Everyone knows how dangerous smoking is. So does that class it as malicious intent? I believe it does.

Back to 'addiction', a sex offender had a 'addiction' to sex, a serial killer has a 'addiction' to killing. They claim they cant stop. A sex offender often gets rehabilitation for their 'addiction'.

So does addiction make a good enough excuse? I believe it doesnt

People can have an addiction to many things. When that addiction hurts others and they knowingly do it anyway, well what else can it be called?

Just my view.