Hi girls! How's everyone feeling today?
Oh gosh, there isn't even a word for what my previous outie bellybutton is now, Tee
I'm a bit uncomfortable at the moment; the yoga instructors have modified my program a bit but have still had me planking and it's put too much pressure on my abs, so I think I need to take it easy so I don't have too much separation that won't go back afterwards. I think my singing is adequate core muscle and abdominal attention.
OH is still driving me mad; he's behaving nicely generally, but still has no clue. Like, we agreed he would see a personal trainer once a week (twice max) and I asked him yesterday why he still religiously goes to the gym in the middle of the day and he's all, "You don't understand; I can't do it without Tony motivating me!" So he's still paying for a trainer four times a week - out of my pocket, mind - and we haven't got rent this month or started buying anything for the baby. It's no wonder I'm trying to squirrel 20s here and 50s there. I was gutted when he found 200 in my violin case the other day. I didn't even know it was there, must have missed it during my summer shows. Would have totally went in my emergency fund. Now he's trying to spend it on fixing his car. The amount he's wasted on that car, we could have got a replacement.
I can't see myself long-term with such a waster. We had a disagreement yesterday about how much he wastes water and electricity - he must do laundry about 4x a week or more! He wears a pair of jeans once to go in his workshop, then fresh ones next day, and if he has to pop to the shops, gets changed. He's sooooooooooo vain. I'd rather take a man without vanity and more common sense. Anyway, back to the gym thing, he then said we don't have the money for me to save for my personal fitness trainer certificate that I want to study next year and haven't yet budgeted for - way I see it, and as I said to him, if he can afford to go to the gym 4x a week with a personal trainer, then I can spend the same amount on my education. Wouldn't mind, but he comes back after workouts parroting information I could have - and have - told him in the past but he doesn't listen to me. Aaaaaaaaargh!
Here's me this weekend just shy of 19wks. That was a big bump day, some days it's not so big. I look like I feel on this pic ha. Bloated, tired and uncomfortable, but looking forward to motherhood. Moments before this photo, I was sobbing in the restaurant 'cause there was a homeless lady outside in the rain. So, after OH practically stepping over her, he then goes out and offers her a meal (she smiled and declined and said someone had been out with food for her earlier), he then went on about it all night, like it had been in character for him to even notice there are people sleeping on the streets. I don't normally sob in restaurants but I'm very hormonal lol. I think I'm horrified at the prospect of such a big life change with a partner who isn't capable of supporting me emotionally; if anything, he's a drain on my emotional (and financial!) resources.
Omg, which reminds me, he drops me at yoga the other night and I came out all relaxed, to see the car parked awkwardly outside a cafe opposite. So I go in to find him and he's there, drinking beer and a Jagermeister shot with these guys he's met and I'm trying to be all zen and they're f-ing and blinding - every other word has to be a swear word - and OH is joining in, copying their accents (it's a thing he does, drives me crazy!) and their swagger and their bad language. And I'm thinking, "This is the last environment I want to be in right now after spending two hours meditating and exercising!"
He has no thought or care for anyone's needs but his own. It's a shame, because I need him to man up and then I can think about having a future with him. Anyway, he kept trying to get me to join this swearing, banal conversation and missing my hints about being mega relaxed and wanting to go home so I could stay that way.
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh!!!! Yoga again in the morning - this class is more invigorating than relaxing, though. But I enjoy it, 'cause a friend goes and we have coffee and girl talk afterwards.
The other class is all in German! I only catch half the dialogue, so it helps me zone out hehehe.
I'm due April 1st!
