Sticking Together Until We All Get BFP's!!!!

[Megamegan]

Hey ladies. I guess the ultrasound went fine, it was a little uncomfortable internally and the only thing the tech said is "Well at least we know you definitely have both ovaries..." lol. Yeah I think I already knew that. Anyway, definitely did NOT need to drink so much water before hand... I was in so much pain from desperately needing to pee on my drive to work, and then once I got there (for me work is where the hospital is) I HAD to pee some before the u/s because I was dying. And my bladder was still full after that lol.

Anyway, AF is like almost 100% gone still. Just a tiny spot here and there, ever since yesterday afternoon. I feel like this happens every cycle and then it comes back.

Also I hurt my wrist today, while I was in Radiology I opened a door and twisted my arm a certain way and something hurts a lot now. And I'm a flute player, can't have wrists getting all messed up. Annoyed.

Nap time.

 

[aidensmommy1]

That's very good news Megan. That just means ur lining looks good and they dont see cysts or anything abnormal in ur uterus area. That's very good ttc news! After ur HSG, I truly feel u will see a bfp veryyy soon! I'm very happy they didn't find anything wrong with u! I didn't think they would but the reassurance is always nice! And its good to know u have both ur ovaries hahah.

 

[Megamegan]

Thanks Mary.... although I'm pretty sure nothing is wrong in there, they didn't actually say that. She said I have to follow up with my doctor because she's just a tech and doesn't interpret the results. But I know I've had cysts on my ovaries before- I guess it's fairly common- no idea if they are there now because she didn't comment either way.

 

[aidensmommy1]

Thanks Mary.... although I'm pretty sure nothing is wrong in there, they didn't actually say that. She said I have to follow up with my doctor because she's just a tech and doesn't interpret the results. But I know I've had cysts on my ovaries before- I guess it's fairly common- no idea if they are there now because she didn't comment either way.

oooh ok, I thought she was saying she didn't see anything but what was suppose to be there lol. My doc jokes like that so that's how I took that . Ive had cysts before too and yes they are very common and actually cysts form to help feed the baby in some pregnancies too so I'm sure everything is just fine in that department as well . When is ur follow up appt?

 

[Megamegan]

I have to call after my HSG to schedule a follow up for results from all the tests.

My wrist hurts so bad I can barely type

 

[Wishing1010]

I know how wrist pain goes Megan! I have broken both of mine, had surgery on one, and have to have another surgery on that same one FX yours is just a little sprain and goes away soon!!!

Sorry I have been MIA today...on top of a busy day at work, I feel horrible. My ovaries are constantly cramping enough for me to have to stop what I'm doing and grab my tummy in pain. Hoping this goes away soon!!!

I agree with Mary, Jess, it will be normal for you again! You will enjoy BD as you did before and all of this pain will be a thing of the past.

FX your tests turn out well, Megan!!!

 

[Megamegan]

Thanks Kenna. Wonder what's going on with your ovaries. Wow you really do know wrist pain! I think I may have some kind of tendonitis or a sprain, it's right under my thumb, feels like a super tender bruise but it isn't a bruise. Going to dr tomorrow for it. Been icing a lot but I feel useless only having one good hand.

You guys.... is anyone having a GOOD day? We are really having a rough time it seems...

 

[Wishing1010]

Hmm...my was like right below my thumb as well. The scaphoid bone. I had a nonunion in the hand that needed surgery and had to have a bone graft and a screw put in there. Same bone in the other wrist but I caught it quickly and they were able to set it and it healed properly. The reason I have to have a second surgery is bc they want to take the screw out now and see what's causing the nerve damage in that hand. They believe it's calcification along the bone and that it's pressing on the main nerve to your hand/arm. Fun Stuff lol..,sorry to ramble on. Anyhow, better to get it checked now, more easy to fix it if it is a break!!!

 

[Megamegan]

Sounds very painful. How did yours happen? I literally just opened the door. I twisted my arm in a weird way and it suddenly popped and hurt really bad at the time, I just tried to massage it but if anything that made it worse. I didn't do anything extreme to hurt it. Feels like a tendon.

 

[Wishing1010]

I fell...UP...the stairs. Not down, but up. Lol! I went to save myself from falling and my wrist snapped when I fell forward on it.

 

[Wishing1010]

And the other one was from kinda the same scenario. Just put my weight on it and it snapped. I was in a bad accident where I was hit by a car at 45+ mph while walking. Docs then my bones took a major hit then and are fragile. Been taking calcium supplements and stuff, but afraid I really have osteoporosis. Need a bone density check.

 

[Megamegan]

I have done that exact same thing, with this wrist, a few years ago. It healed on its own I guess. This wrist has always caused me problems, it hurts whenever I do pushups- started when I was a little kid in gymnastics. I wonder if maybe it finally just had enough... lol. Ugh. Not even remotely funny though I really, really need my wrist to work. In two senses of the word.

 

[Megamegan]

Oh wow, that sounds awful. That must have been terrifying to be hit by a car while walking!!

 

[AmySan]

Hi ladies....well...I did it. Last night I went over to Mike's and broke up with him. It was probably the closest night we have had in months. We talked for a couple of hours. He told me more abut his therapy...and that his dad was an alcoholic...which i didn't know the extent of...and how he has his own issues and that it wasn't all my fault. His therapist wants him to read codependant no more and go to al anon meetings.

We changed our facebook statuses together...made it private. Was also very hard.

He even cried. Not sobs or anything, but sniffly and has tears streaming down his face.

I was able to get out everything I felt about his changing the locks, how it was hard not seeing him much, even before all of this happened...and how i wish we could go back in time...wish we could have had goodbye sex or something Also talked about how the progress we made that usually in a normal relationship, with giving them a key to your place, or staying together all of the time...didn't happen..how it was 'his house' and he is so used to being alone..only child..etc...how I didn't know if he could ever have a real relationship, with me, especially now.....and how sorry I was.

I saw my psychiatrist first, who was all for me doing it...he said that a guy who is 40 and not already locked down has something wrong with them. Which pissed me off...but I guess I have seen that...With my concerns about his never being in a long term relationship, or being in love.

We are still talking and texting. I didn't get all of my stuff from his place yet. I'm glad we are talking though, I can't handle just like, sudden breakups...

My psychiatrist gave me 3 weeks worth of xanax to help keep me ok during this time. Klonopin and ativan aren't cutting it...so I gave Mike a couple ativan....he took half last night and said he was still tired all day today...it's so weird how he is so sensitive to medication. I know it would help him if he weren't.

Anyway, I am heartbroken. I have been having random conversations with random guys....who tell me I am gorgeous and nice things that I haven't heard in a long time. Mike isn't really like that. I don't remember if he was in the beginning or not. I have a couple of dates set up with some guys....it's probably too soon...but i want to feel pretty and get my mind off of my life being over

I'm sorry i didn't even have the chance to look through posts today...i've been slammed at work, and just depressed. Not sure which will be faster for me to get back to TTC - staying with mike and waiting for him to not be afraid of me...or finding a guy that might be the one. Maybe it was a sign we didn't get pregnant in those months of trying.

I love you all. I will try to get on tomorrow. Have my first DBT group after work, and tonight my therapist. Going to be a cry session for sure.

 

[Wishing1010]

Yeah, it's so hard to be without your wrist. Are you right handed? I went for about 9 months without having use of mine. I had to learn to wipe when using the toilet with the left hand (try it sometime, it's not as easy as you think LOL). And I couldn't write so I had to write left handed, couldn't type so I had to do everything with only one hand!

I hope yours really does heal up quick...I have too many bad memories of mine!

 

[Megamegan]

Yeah, it's so hard to be without your wrist. Are you right handed? I went for about 9 months without having use of mine. I had to learn to wipe when using the toilet with the left hand (try it sometime, it's not as easy as you think LOL). And I couldn't write so I had to write left handed, couldn't type so I had to do everything with only one hand!

I hope yours really does heal up quick...I have too many bad memories of mine!

I'm right handed, yeah. I have already been trying to use my left hand today and it has sucked (edit: guess I used a word that wasn't approved, oops!!). I would be so depressed having to do this every day for months. I don't think it will really come to that.

 

[Megamegan]

Amy, I'm so proud of you. You did the right thing. I know, I can't do sudden breakups either, but eventually you'll have to cut off the conversation after you get your stuff and feel some closure. In my opinion, it's ok if you date other guys right away, but I would suggest trying not to take anyone too seriously- don't look for a baby daddy quite yet but just have fun, give yourself time to heal, and don't pressure yourself into a relationship right away... and of course be safe

 

[Wishing1010]

Amy I'm sorry but I feel this is the best thing for you right now. You are so pretty and sweet and deserve to see if you can find someone who makes you truly happy and not upset you. Love you, girl!!! Hang in there!!!!!!!

 

[aidensmommy1]

Hi ladies....well...I did it. Last night I went over to Mike's and broke up with him. It was probably the closest night we have had in months. We talked for a couple of hours. He told me more abut his therapy...and that his dad was an alcoholic...which i didn't know the extent of...and how he has his own issues and that it wasn't all my fault. His therapist wants him to read codependant no more and go to al anon meetings.

We changed our facebook statuses together...made it private. Was also very hard.

He even cried. Not sobs or anything, but sniffly and has tears streaming down his face.

I was able to get out everything I felt about his changing the locks, how it was hard not seeing him much, even before all of this happened...and how i wish we could go back in time...wish we could have had goodbye sex or something Also talked about how the progress we made that usually in a normal relationship, with giving them a key to your place, or staying together all of the time...didn't happen..how it was 'his house' and he is so used to being alone..only child..etc...how I didn't know if he could ever have a real relationship, with me, especially now.....and how sorry I was.

I saw my psychiatrist first, who was all for me doing it...he said that a guy who is 40 and not already locked down has something wrong with them. Which pissed me off...but I guess I have seen that...With my concerns about his never being in a long term relationship, or being in love.

We are still talking and texting. I didn't get all of my stuff from his place yet. I'm glad we are talking though, I can't handle just like, sudden breakups...

My psychiatrist gave me 3 weeks worth of xanax to help keep me ok during this time. Klonopin and ativan aren't cutting it...so I gave Mike a couple ativan....he took half last night and said he was still tired all day today...it's so weird how he is so sensitive to medication. I know it would help him if he weren't.

Anyway, I am heartbroken. I have been having random conversations with random guys....who tell me I am gorgeous and nice things that I haven't heard in a long time. Mike isn't really like that. I don't remember if he was in the beginning or not. I have a couple of dates set up with some guys....it's probably too soon...but i want to feel pretty and get my mind off of my life being over

I'm sorry i didn't even have the chance to look through posts today...i've been slammed at work, and just depressed. Not sure which will be faster for me to get back to TTC - staying with mike and waiting for him to not be afraid of me...or finding a guy that might be the one. Maybe it was a sign we didn't get pregnant in those months of trying.

I love you all. I will try to get on tomorrow. Have my first DBT group after work, and tonight my therapist. Going to be a cry session for sure.

Amy, I'm sorry you had to go through this tonight but I have to say, I am very proud of you. You seem to be doing good, considering everything that's going on. Honestly, I think you made the right decision. You deserve to be happy in life.
And I dont think its too quick to have a few dates set up...as u said, it'll help keep your mind off things and if it helps you deal with everything, there's nothing wrong with that. Ive actually been that same way almost all my life. Its almost like I need to be in a relationship which hasn't always been the healthiest thing but everything lead me to my dh & I know the same will happen for you. From how uve talked about mike, he reminds me alot of my ex husband. My ex did the whole internet dating thing behind my back and he did some other things after that and just turned plain mean but he was like the sweetest guy in the world at the beginning and just as we moved in together and got more and more serious, things changed and I realized i just wasn't happy with him at all and even tho I wanted to at the time, I couldn't get over the whole internet cheating thing and I honestly had never had an easier break up than that. Granted, I met my dh about 2-3wks after my ex and I split so as usual, I wasn't alone for long but I am sooo grateful because now I have dh, we never ever fight (may bicker every once in a great while), he treats me better then any guy has ever treated me, he and I have sooo much in common...i dont really know where I'm going with this anymore, I'm half asleep lol but basically what I'm trying to say is that you aren't in the wrong for wanting to date and u never know when u are about to meet the one and I truly believe everything happens for a reason and as u said, maybe u didn't have a baby with mike for this very reason. Actually with my ex I knew there was a chance at that time that my tube was blocked and everything and HE wanted to try and we were married so I "tried" for a month and then I decided I DIDNT WANT KIDS! (LOL, we all know that is FAR from true) but then after we split and I fell in love w my dh now, there's nothing I want more then a baby WITH HIM. I always think about that and how VERY grateful I am that I didn't conceive with my ex husband that one month we tried (just bd'ed every day when we tried that cycle). I feel like I had those "anti baby" feeling JUST because I wasn't with the right person. My point is, I very much so know that u will meet someone soo special and amazing to you and you'll get your baby/happy family . I'm not just saying this, I know it'll happen for you, especially with the strength you are showing through this! Just have fun and as megan said, take things slow and if somethings meant to be, itll happen Again, I am so proud of u Amy!! Sorry For rambling...i was trying to make.points but kept getting lost in my thoughts lol. Good night hun!

 

[Jrepp]

Megan, I hope your wrist feels better! I have had my fair share of wrist injuries (right arm broken twice in the exact same spot, left arm once and a few sprains). Try and keep it wrapped in an ace bandage. They will probably do an xray on it.

Kenna - it really looks like you may have o'd! I'm really excited for you. Does the cramps feel like they travel from the ovary to the tube?

Amy - I'm glad that you are thinking of your happiness and called things off with Mike. I know that it must be rough for you and I'm happy you are going to your meetings. I think having a few dates lined up is fine, but please be careful and take things slowly. When you find the right guy things will be really easy for you I bet.

AFM: another turbulent day! No restraining today, but another tornado warning forced us to the school basement. I happend to be stuck at the surgeons getting new pads for my walking boot and when I got to the school the sirens were going off and the trees were swirling. I got my surgery pre-registered so they should be calling to do the whole allergy deal any time now. I also called my pelvic pain doctor and got a 3 day script for antibiotics to hopefully clear up this uti and moved my shot pop ointment to the 9th instead of the 12th. Hubby wasn't pleased because he didn't want to do anything on our last day of vaycay but oh well.