TTC #1 AL Buddies 2016 Newcomers Welcome

[mrs unicorn]

Thanks richiees. Sending you lots of such horrible milestones we have to work through.

I can see a wheel chart on your link but not a temp chart. If they are up then sounds like you did o. Yey!

 

[RichieesMom]

very difficult milestones indeed!

we went to babyland the other day (thats where all the babies r at the cemetery) n saw that richiee had a new neighbor. my heart dropped for whoever's family that is.

i never told u all what happen did i? well now that I'm quite comfortable with u ladies y not. my sons windpipe didn't develop correctly. leaving him unable to breath on his own (they weren't able to incubate him either bcuz of how it was oddly shaped). poor baby he was trying to cry (very little sounds every several seconds). i asked the doc in a panic, is it suppose to take this long n he just shook his head no. i started flipping out as they rushed him to the nicu (dh went down with him). then about 35mins later they rushed me down bcuz they coded him n wanted me to be with him when he passed. it was so surreal. like a real life nightmare. everyone was shocked. we all, including the doc had no idea. apparently u can't see a trachea on ultrasound.

so that was it. went in prepared for the best day of my life, n left as a childless mother. I'm so sorry if I'm bringing anyone down. feels kinda good letting it out to u all tho.

BUT, god saw how distraught i was n let him visit me in a dream (my first dream of him) n i saw that he was just fine! a man (idk who this man was) told me to look up, n the clouds opened up in the sky. i saw beautiful pastel colors n angels flying down to the right n left. n down the middle came my baby with a smile on his face, straight to my arms! he didn't have wings like the angels. i did research and found out that angels r perfect, holy beings that never lived on earth. SAINTS, as they r called, r humans on earth, who have passed away n r now in heaven. which explained y my baby didn't have wings like the angels flying on each side of him.

since the night of that dream, i have felt peace in my heart about it all. i literally woke up n just felt different. peace! still very sad of course, but i was shown that everything it just fine. the dream told me, don't worry mommy!

which brings me back to u ladies, this journey is very very hard. but its a necessary one for us. gods plan is better than ours. we r stronger than anyone out there bcuz of our struggle. those who mourn r blessed, for the lord comforts them.

 

[lesondemavie]

Richees - Thank you so much for sharing your story with us . I'm so very touched and incredibly saddened that you lost your baby so suddenly in that way. I'm so glad that you found our little support group and thankful to have your support too

 

[lesondemavie]

Bee - I can understand how your head must be spinning. I hope you get that appointment and can talk through a plan. I know I always feel better with a plan in hand too. I hope you get a surprise and don't need it, but still it always feels better to have some control anyway. You and DH sound like super baby makers. I'm sure it will happen within 1-3 cycles for you now with IUI. If not this cycle, then soon girl...and it will all be worth it when you're holding that LO

Mel - Glad your doc's office was so sweet and helpful. That's fantastic! I'm going in August if we're still TTC. There's no way I'm waiting another year to get the ball rolling. I want a BFP or a baby or something figured out before I'm 35! 😁

Bronte - Hope you're doing well! Any fun plans for the weekend while you wait both for the tww and you amazing June adventures? When is AF due for you?

AFM: on the house and the baby still. I'm going to go cuddle with DH and our furkids and try to relax until we get our answers. There may be tears either way in the next few days 😅

 

[RichieesMom]

les, im sooo glad i found u girls here. exactly what i needed. sending good vibes to u with ur waiting game!

 

[mrs unicorn]

Richiees - thank you for sharing your story. It brought tears to my eyes. I'm so sorry that you've had to go through something so terrible. Quite frankly it amazes me how 'well' you are doing. I know we all have good and bad days and I'm sure you are no different in that. I guess we are stronger for it. It's tempting to throw the towel in sometimes when your emotions get the better of you, but then you've given up haven't you? I don't think there's one person on this board that is prepared to give up, even if we do have wobbles from time to time. Xx

Bee - hang in there hun. Fx you manage to book that appointment in advance. I'm a planner too so I understand the need to get things organised. I hope you don't need that appointment but if you do, like Leson said, I'm certain it won't be long before you get your bfp.

Leson - fx for both things! Such exciting times. You've got a busy few days then? Have you heard anything on the house yet? Are you still planning on testing tomorrow?

Mel - great news your doc is supportive. I don't know much about the testing process (only what I've learnt from these boards) but I know you'll get plenty of info and support from some of these girls who been through it. Xx

 

[RichieesMom]

mrs unicorn, if i hadn't had that dream (i think a couple mths after), i wouldn't have made it. i swear, it just helped me so much. n perfect timing too bcuz my grieving was insane! dh would always ask if i wanted to be taking to the hospital for a sedative bcuz he just didn't know what to do for me anymore. i will say, the first week after, i don't remember much, i was prescribed valum but stopped taking them after that first week buz i wanted to be pregnant again asap. theres just no way i would of made it thru that week on my own without any "help". i still deff have my moments, at least 2 days out of the week, where i wake up crying n go to bed crying. i still can't go in his room yet. all his unused baby shower gifts guts me to no end (tons of cloths, 2 baby tubs, lots of blankets, diapers, etc). i still haven't unpacked his diaper bag!

But that dream saved me. n the others iv had, but that first one was the game changer. there like lil reminders once n awhile that he's ok. n then randomly dreaming of a baby girl (twice!) that looks just like him made me see my baby making isn't over! i didn't even want a girl, i was very boy crazy when she came to me! it may be 3, 4, 5 years before she comes along, but I'm ready when she's ready.

its gonna be a very frustrating time ahead, n i still have gallons of tears to shed. but i and all of us, thru hope, faith, n love, will make it thru baring gifts!

 

[mrs unicorn]

you're an inspiration richiees I'm so glad that you have found some comfort in your dreams. They can be so very powerful.

 

[RichieesMom]

thanks dh is also very happy that i found u ladies too. he doesn't get bothered with my constant baby talk anymore! ill obsess over something now (lately, wanting to look into clomid) n he's like ugghhh, go talk to ur friends! lol

 

[mrs unicorn]

Haha! Yes it's great to have a place where we can obsess/stress/worry or just get all the thoughts and feelings out. I try not to talk to DH about it too much, it's different for men I think. Although last night he asked me if I felt any different yet. It's waaayyyyy to early and I didn't really feel any different until I was 5.5/6 weeks anyway. I think he must be feeling a touch impatient/eager too now because he has never asked anything like that before. Infact he doesn't ask about testing or when af is due. I think it's going to be harder for him now, whereas before he was easy come easy go.

 

[RichieesMom]

thats good he asked, he's catching the baby bug too! but ur right, it is diff for the men. dh wanted to wait awhile before trying again. n inside i was like hooooooww can he want to wait? y isn't he as anxious as me? but then again, he wasn't the one who carried, wasn't the one who felt all the hiccups, knew exactly when the baby would fall asleep n when he would be waking up. it was weird how even in my tummy he already had a sleep schedule lol. dh is such a mans man. after 5 yrs together, first time iv EVER seen him cry was after labor. but now after my constant baby talk and a few failed attempts, he's caught the bug too! he's the type of person who gets angry when he can't finish what he's started working on(in anything, his business, odd house work, doing his hair! lol).

i actually didn't realize i was pregnant till i was 14 weeks! i use to have irregular periods (but since giving birth they've been very reg) so skipping a month or 2 was the norm for me. n i chalked up my sore boobs to sleeping on them (implants) but other than the sore bbs n missed period, no other symptoms!. so like u, i don't expect to feel any diff for bit.

im glad ur dh is starting to feel the anxiousness, it helps alil so how!

 

[lesondemavie]

We had to come up another 5k 😁 but it looks like the house is ours !!! Now just for that BFP 😅😍

 

[mrs unicorn]

wooooooooooo thats amazing news!! I'm so chuffed for you! xxxx

 

[beemeck]

richiees - thank you so much for sharing your story. I'm sure it's not an easy one to share. It is really heartbreaking but I'm so glad you had that dream that was able to give you some comfort. I always get emotional sharing my story for the first time to someone, but then after that initial distress, I'm able to talk about it more freely. sending you tons of hugs and hoping you get your rainbow baby very soon

les - that's amazing!! woo hoo!!!! good things come in threes - right?!

mrs u- so sorry again that you were down yesterday. I hope that THIS is THE cycle!!! I can't wait until the hard, lonely, sad days are behind us

AF is walking down the street and about to knock on my door! I see her out the window! lol temp drop, cramps and some yellow cm that will turn to spotting later today. If there's anything I know, it's this drill by now.

 

[lesondemavie]

MrsU - It was just like you said. There were two higher bidders, but they loved our letter and want to sell to us! The revised offer went over this morning. I'm still not going to fully believe it until they sign our offer and our loan is approved, but so excited that we're moving forward!🌞😎

 

[BronteForever]

RicheesMom - sending you huge hugs. Thanks so much for sharing your story. It definitely can be cathartic to share and get everything out there. It's much healthier than bottling up all your emotions. Everything you have gone through has to be incredibly hard for you. I hope Richee gets a baby sister that he can look down on from above soon. Dreams can be very powerful messages to the future sometimes. Best wishes.

Les - just saw your other post, so exciting. Yay for the letter sealing the deal. I'm so anxious for you and hope you get a house and baby back-to-back. Big life changes always seem to come in groups, at least for me.

AF is due next week for me, but I've been kind of sporadic with my cycles a bit, so spotting should start soon. I don't have any weekend plans, but I'm keeping super busy with work lately. I'm excited for a nice, relaxing weekend.

 

[RichieesMom]

bee, thank u. i was very teary eyed while typing, but the openness feels good with such amazing support from ya'll. I'm sorry af is approaching babe. I'm not feeling very positive about this month either. so on to the next!

les, hyfr (hell yeah, f****** right lol)!!!!!!!!!!

bronte, thanks luv he will deff get his lil sibling, just a matter of time. speaking of time, june is coming around the corner!

 

[melissakate]

Les-congrats on the house! I know that has to be a relief. Continuing to cross my fingers for your BFP.

Bee-Sorry about AF. But I just know next month timing will be right!

Richeesmom- I am so glad you are finding comfort and that you are ready to move forward. I know that it has to be so hard but that you will know when the time is right.

Bronte- What are your plans between now and June? I think you have a vacation coming up? Hope you get all the non-baby stuff in before then because I am so excited and hopeful for you!

As for me- I got a VVVVFP today at 11dpo! I am CAUTIOUSLY optimistic because before my MMC I had 2 chemicals 2 months in a row. I will keep you updated!

 

[mrs unicorn]

Oh my gosh Mel!?!? Have you got a picture (sorry but I love looking at them!) fx for you lovely! So exciting! This thread is cheering me right up!

 

[melissakate]

Oh my gosh Mel!?!? Have you got a picture (sorry but I love looking at them!) fx for you lovely! So exciting! This thread is cheering me right up!

I'm not sure you to post a picture This was mid day test. Let me try a longer hold and get a better picture and if I can figure out how to post here I will!