TTC #1 AL Buddies 2016 Newcomers Welcome

[lesondemavie]

Oh MrsU good call! I just checked in and it was tough. They're feeling kicks and planning nurseries. Everyone is doing well though it seems. I wish them all nothing but the best. It is really hard to see that and think, "that should be me" 😭.

 

[mrs unicorn]

ah jeez, that is tough especially when you see someone who was pretty much the same day as you. Anyway hun, I see you're going away for the weekend and maybe planning on testing? Where are you going?

 

[lesondemavie]

Testing Saturday and Sunday. We're just going to a hotel nearby within walking distance of some of our favorite restaurants. We did it last year too (not for our anniversary but another time), and it was refreshing. I keep going back and forth between this is my month to I'm out. I've been feeling AF like cramps at night and my right side can really be bothersome at times since 7DPO. Irritation from O if I get it is usually 1-6DPO, and I didn't feel a thing my BFP cycle. I'm really loving that 7DPO dip, but it could just be a cruel joke. There are so many of those when TTC! After going through all those thoughts, I decide to just push them aside and wait for testing/AF. I'll know soon enough!

 

[beemeck]

oh wow les you will know super soon! I always forget how quick your cycles are. I'm keeping my fingers crossed very tightly for you

melissa - I'm so sorry that it seems like you might have had an evap I'm wondering if the cheapies just aren't as sensitive. I had an HCG trigger shot this cycle so I tested the next day just to see what a second line looked like on my cheapie it was so light I was shocked! I had a good amount of hcg in my system then.... but I do know they same blue dye tests are known for evaps. I'm keeping my hopes up otherwise though

mrsu - I'm sorry you were having a rough time with facebook. I don't relate to that as much, but it's very understandable. I think for me, being surrounded by pregnant women and babies on a daily basis (I'm an early childhood specialist and I teach prenatal and postnatal education) that I'm fairly numb to it all. But there is this one girl on fb that I can't take - probably only because I never cared for her anyway (went to high school with her). she's been complaining about her pregnancy non stop - just this morning she made the glucose test sound like some sort of illegal torture device and now she's off for a pedicure because it was just so unbearable. like wtf dude.

CD 1 for me today and am anxiously awaiting my call back from the doc - I hope I can get in there before the madness begins!

 

[mrs unicorn]

Leson - that sounds like a lovely idea! And yes not long till you'll know either way!

Bee - that's exactly like her. So dramatic about things then just has to have her hair or nails done to console herself! Pathetic. Guess it's worse because we've never really got on, she's such a snob. Anyway I've unfollowed her on Facebook too, feels good!
You are one tough cookie being able to work with kids and pregnant ladies day after day!

 

[Aayla]

Hi ladies. Would love to join you all on your journey. We are TTC #1. I did get pregnant on my 3rd cycle of letrozole last August but unfortunately it ended in a mc at 5 weeks and 5 days. We did 3 cycles after that with nothing and then took a short break. Now I am just waiting for CD 1 to happen and we are back in the game.

 

[mrs unicorn]

Welcome Aayla! Glad you found us! Sorry for you loss hun. These ladies are a fab bunch! When do you expect af arrive?

 

[RichieesMom]

mel, that really sux, I'm sorry babe. hang in there, its not over till its over!

mrs unicorn, i don't have fb, n good thing too. but if i were u (n bcuz I'm an EX mean girl lol i was horrible back in high school) i would unfriend n unfollow (if thats how it works on fb, i don't really know). theres no use in even keeping her apart of ur social media at all if u really don't like her. but thats just me! plz don't be upset we"re all here for u.

les, I'm hoping for the best on ur testing!!!

 

[RichieesMom]

aayla! i just posted n then scrolled up n for a sec i thought i posted on the wrong thread lol. welcome!

 

[BronteForever]

mrs u - sending your hugs. That is hard to deal with. I can't relate on some levels because I think I got numb to it as well and I'm not a huge social media person to begin with, but if you already have issues with a person it's going to be amplified ten times worse. So anything she says about pregnancy is definitely going to be upsetting. Glad you unfriended her and I think that's the best. As I've gotten older, I've been less worried about hurting anyone's feeling by doing things like that. It's not really a big deal. Sometimes we just don't get along with people and there's no reason to fake it and everyone is happy if you just deal with each other as little as possible.

aayla - welcome to the group. Sorry to hear about your miscarriage, but glad you seem to be healed up and ready to try again. Good luck and hope it doesn't take too long for you.

 

[Aayla]

I am hoping af comes by Sunday. I just stopped the provera (yesterday was my last pill). It usually takes 2-3 days. It may take longer because I was on provera not long ago and stopped. I am inducing a second bleed mid "cycle" as I didn't want to wait the full 35 days. Lol

 

[RichieesMom]

ugh, i have my days n today is one of them. been so emotional. positive thoughts, positive thoughts....

 

[lesondemavie]

Hi Aayla - So sorry for your loss but glad you decided to join us. Fx for a short time back at it!

Richees - give yourself permission to have a bad day today. You can focus on those positive thoughts tomorrow. Some days it's just too exhausting to stay upbeat and that's totally ok love ❤️💜💙

AFM: There are so many wonderful things going on in my life and I'm in such a pissy mood! Maybe it's just my hormones crashing before AF...idk. I went to a conference today and they said so many things that just made me mad. At the conference, I kept getting those same pins and pricks on my right side and my boobs started hurting a bit (which is not a usual PMS symptom for me). I started getting this overwhelming sense that I'm pg, and then nearly cried in the middle of a talk from the emotion of it. I arrived home and completely changed my mind and thought that maybe I don't even want to test this weekend. Then DH shared that his mom wanted him to tell me that, "this house is where it will be right." Ugh! I knew she'd say something like that. It almost makes me want to drop the house, or not have kids just to prove her wrong (I'm stubborn like that) but of course I won't bc the house and they baby are about DH and I - not my mom, not my MIL...just us. This condo and the baby we had were so wonderful and right. The next time will also be wonderful and beautiful, but I hate when people imply that the first one was wrong. I mean clearly something went wrong, but we were so happy and things were so perfect. A house wouldn't have changed a thing - that's just silly and (forgive me) stupid. I have to laugh. I usually try to put myself in someone else's shoes and understand that they're well-intentioned, but today I just want to scream. A big welcome to TTC AL to me! 😁

 

[BronteForever]

Les - scream all you want hon. I've heard that lots before and get that people are trying to be encouraging and keep your hopes up. But yes that doesn't make you love your gremlin any less. And it's hard to hear anything that can be implied as a negative towards someone you loved so much.

It's apparently a full moon tonight. I don't really follow any astrology but my friend had to look it up because both of us kept complaining how irritated we have been with everything this week that something just felt off. So we decided to blaim that I think everyone has caught the irritation bug this week.

 

[mrs unicorn]

It really seems that this week has been tough for everyone. Maybe it does have something to do with a full moon, who knows?!

Richiees I hope you're feeling better today. Letting is all out is good for you. Leson, it infuriates me too when people say stupid things like that. Can't tell you how many people have said 'it wasn't meant to be' and all that rubbish. I guess people mean well but it really is a daft thing to say.

I hope everyone has a lovely weekend. Best two days of the week right? Xxx

 

[Aayla]

The full moon definitely can play a part. Not because of horoscope or anything like that. It's the moon that controls the tides and so it actually has a physical effect on the earth. You can actually time your cycles to the moon as well.

I heard so many stupid but well intentioned phrases, sentances and the like when I had my mc. The one that I got the most was "at least you know you can get pregnant." Yes, it is nice knowing the pills really do work (which I already knew based on progesterone tests) but I could get pregnant a million times and if I don't have a baby from one of them what the heck is the point? I don't want to just get pregnant I want a baby. But the worst...the worst...was my dad. He told me that I wasn't really pregnant and that it doesn't really start until 12 weeks. While I understood what he was trying to say but umm..no. No this is not how it works.

I think because no one talks about mc people don't really know what to say and so they think of something that sounds nice in their head and say that not knowing the impact it can have.

 

[raine87]

You mind if I join you ladies? I had my first mc on Feb 13, 2015 and my second mc Feb 11, 2016. I had to have a d&c on March 10th and haven't had my first af. My doctor said I have to wait for 2 cycles. She also started me on metformin. This waiting for the first cycle to finally end is unbearable.

 

[mrs unicorn]

Oh aayla that's so awful and not true in anyway. As soon as you get that positive test everything changes in an instant. Someone said to me 'think of it as cells, it was never a baby' again probably trying to help me but it didn't actually upset me. I just thought, woah you have literally no idea whatsoever about what we are going through, because if you did you wouldn't dream of saying that. Thinking in that way is impossible and also something that we don't want to do. As painful as it was/is we also want to remember our lo and how unbelievably happy / excited / fascinated / in love we were that it was happening.

 

[mrs unicorn]

Raine - how are you doing? I've been thinking about you wondering how you are. I remember you having your d&c about a week after me. I can't believe your af hasn't returned yet! Is your doctor concerned? I was told 4-6weeks and you are past that now. X

 

[Aayla]

my sister went through something interesting the other day. She had a miscarraige a few years ago. She was 13 weeks. No one even knew she was pregnant. She was just about to tell us because she had passed the 12 week mark. She didn't even tell us about the mc until a year later at least and now she's able to talk about it.

Well...we just found out one of her friends is pregnant (almost 10 weeks I think) which is great...but she (the friend) mentioned the miscarriage to my sis and it wasn't until she was pregnant that she realized exactly what my sister had gone through and exactly what losing a baby at 13 weeks might possibly be like.

Men will never really understand even though they grieve on their own, and while a woman can sympathize I don't think anyone can truly know the pain and grief and attachment we feel unless they go through it.

My whole world changed when I saw those lines.

but enough sad talk...Although I don't have a whole lot of news. lol I'm just sitting and waiting for withdrawl af.