TTC #1 AL Buddies 2016 Newcomers Welcome

[BronteForever]

So I'm already irritated and annoyed, yet again this week (warning: long-winded rant probably forthcoming). This morning I opened a bill for my second HSG test (the first one was supposed to be done in February and they tried it but couldn't get in through my cervix and the doctor didn't feel comfortable proceeding without an OB present. This was after the radiology room we were supposed to be in was broken and they moved to another one last minute that was throwing everyone "off," so I don't think that helped.)

Anyway, before the actual, completed procedure in March, I doubled checked with everyone to make sure I wouldn't be charged again for the same procedure: they all assured me no, except for likely a small charge from the new OB doctor that has to do the actual procedure, which I expected and already paid awhile ago. So I was kind of shocked when I got the hospital bill this morning, especially because it's not cheap. The good news is that it was billed correctly, so insurance paid some of it, since they coded as something other then just "infertility" related, which I had to demand about 5 times to multiple people just to get it added ahead of time. The bad news is that now since it was billed after-the-fact, I'm no longer eligible for a 50 percent off discount for paying on the day of service. I already filled a complaint with the hospital billing office and it's going through the system. But I hate dealing with hospitals, insurances, and everything on top of it. I'm already scared half to death that I'm going to be a horrible mother some days and now that's it's been almost 7 years of ups and down (mostly downs) with dealing with infertility, I'm so ready to throw in the towel some days. I feel like it shouldn't be this hard to even get a child. And I hate that I have to be worried about money on top of it, despite the fact, I'm much better off than a lot of people and have help from family when needed. It's just the principal of it that's frustrating.

And I have no idea why I'm going to subject myself to even more medical stuff, when it irritates me so much to begin with. I'm really hoping for an easier IVF process, but I'm not even sure that exists. Starting to get stressed about that already and it's still more than a month and a half away.

 

[beemeck]

oh bronte - I totally feel you about the "red tape" stuff. I feel like the process itself is just such a difficult mess, and then all of the other stuff gets thrown on top too. ugh! I'm so sorry that this was all so misleading for you. I really hope they take your complaint seriously and change the bill for you. some days I think this is too stressful too. honestly, the only thing that keeps me going sometimes is the fact that "giving up" is pretty impossible. even if I stopped the RE clinic stuff, I would always know when I o and I would always plan BD around it and I would always go through a TWW. ugh. sending big hugs and just know that this is a bad day but but not all days will be this difficult. I am thinking that IVF is going to go smoothly for you!!! I just have a feeling

mrsu - sorry about the BFN. I am pretty much with you - although I don't test early for the most part. I tested at 10dpo in Dec bc in landed on xmas day and if it was positive, I wanted to give DH that gift. It was BFN and I just knew it was over for me even though the stats show otherwise. hoping you are one of those stats now! and omg about the snow! I thought it was bad where I lived!!! it's too late for snow - go away!!

les - glad work has been keeping you busy. it's gotten oddly quiet here for me but I know that won't last long good luck with the continued house stuff!

how is everyone else? I'm just waiting for my scan on Monday. left ovary is getting all plumped up and I'll start opks on Sunday!

 

[BronteForever]

Now moving on:

mrs u - so sorry you got a negative this morning. It is still early though. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you, especially since you were having some symptoms. Every pregnancy is different, so even if you had a positive at 11 DPO last time, that doesn't mean it might not take longer this time.

aayla - goodness, I'm so sorry to hear people were giving you a hard time. That is the exact opposite of what we need. I often ask questions, because there's just so much to learn, especially when it doesn't apply to your specific case so you might not be as familiar with a protocol or med or whatever, but there's absolutely no need to not show support. That's what we are all hear for!! Sometimes it can get hard though, because you want to show support for the person not the doctor. And sometimes we all get mad at our doctors and want people to sympathy, so when someone complains you want to be in their corner. There is a fine line between showing sympathy and possibly questioning if the doctor handled the situation correctly. But don't be afraid to call myself out if you ever feel that way from me. It's probably just because I didn't know better.

les - goodness, I'm horrible at planning vacations. That's why we usually go through an online travel company, since I like to just show up and enjoy the trip and not think about it. Otherwise I get my hopes up too much. You can hijack away though if you find anything exciting to do in Madrid or Aviles Spain. We have a lot for my husband's race that will happen the first week: like a parade of nations, group dinners, and then of course his actual race. But after that we are free. I've looked up a few basic sites to see, but haven't gotten to in-depth yet.

 

[beemeck]

oh and les - of course you can add me to the front page! let me know if you have any questions on my info

 

[lesondemavie]

Oh Bronte *hugs*. That sounds so frustrating. I'm always so shocked at how insensitive some people in the medical profession are. I want to chain them all down and do so empathy training with them sometimes. If I treated my families the way we get treated by doctors, I would never get to help them as much as I do. The frustration aside, I want to tell you what I told my best friend when she questioned how she'd be as a mom. It's the people who don't think about it and self-reflect who concern me. I think that worrying about is a sign that you are ready, that you get what a big responsibility it is, and that you will be a wonderful mother because you clearly care about it so much. My best friend is bipolar. It took her two years of coming off her meds and three hospitalizations to even get to a point where she could try for her little boy. That kid stole all of our hearts the second we met him at the hospital. He's turning one in a week, and I can't wait to see his smiley little chubby face covered in frosting. She worries about being a good mom most days, but in spite of the worry or maybe because of it, her little boy is thriving and bringing so much joy into this world.

 

[BronteForever]

Bee - thanks for the kind words. They are definitely needed today! I know I'm not alone with having to deal with "red tape." That's almost even more frustrating that so many of us have to deal with so much stuff to get a child. It's so sad.

And you are correct, you can't really turn it off. We went back on BC for awhile after the ectopic, because we didn't want to have to think about it and were dealing with too much stuff that it would have been an overload to deal with TTC on top of it for us personally at the time. Then when coming off we weren't timing stuff, but we still had a general idea of when it "might" happen. So you don't get your hopes up as much, but they are still there.

Anyway, I'm so excited for you this month and really hope it's your month! I'm curious to see if they will find anything during the SIS. If there is another issue then hopefully it's an easy to fix one. My money is still on the cervix somehow since that's been your probably area from the beginning. Hopefully the timing this time will work better and bypassing that area will help. I'm excited to by-pass all my problem areas with IVF. That is the plus of it.

 

[lesondemavie]

MrsU - Sorry about the bfn. Hope it's just too early! And snow! My goodness. I haven't dealt with snow in such a long time. I miss it some days. We hiked one of the tallest peaks around here in the snow and it was absolutely beautiful. I think I like that I can visit it but not live in it though! I keep looking at sites and trying to plan out my garden in my new house and I have no clue where to start!

Bee - I think if you get the timing right this time there is so much hope for a BFP for you! Remember that there is still a healthy dose of chance involved even if everything is perfect. Fx this is your lucky roll!

 

[beemeck]

thanks girls - honestly a part of me is hoping to find something on the SIS. Maybe like a fibroid or polyp that can be removed. I know that would set me back a bit, but after a year of no concrete answers, I'm just kinda ready for one

 

[BronteForever]

Oh Bronte *hugs*. That sounds so frustrating. I'm always so shocked at how insensitive some people in the medical profession are. I want to chain them all down and do so empathy training with them sometimes. If I treated my families the way we get treated by doctors, I would never get to help them as much as I do. The frustration aside, I want to tell you what I tell my best friend when she questioned how she'd be as a mom and now questions how she's doing with her little boy. It's the people who don't think about it and self-reflect who concern me. I think that worrying about is a sign that you are ready, that you get what a big responsibility it is, and that you will be a wonderful mother because you clearly care about it so much. My best friend is bipolar. It took her two years of coming off her meds and three hospitalizations to even get to a point where she could try for her little boy. That kid stole all of our hearts the second we met him at the hospital. He's turning one in a week, and I can't wait to see his smiley little chubby face covered in frosting. She worries about being a good mom most days, but in spite of the worry or maybe because of it, her little boy is thriving and bringing so much joy into this world.

Les - this is going to make me cry. I know you are right. It's such a big decision to have children and if we didn't worry about it on some level that's when it needs to be a bigger issue. It's hard not to feel defeated some days and wonder if it's the universe telling you that you shouldn't be a parent. I also struggle with anxiety and depression (though I'm not bipolar), so I think that doesn't help at all. It also doesn't help that I had to switch off my depression meds when trying to conceive, since it's bad for the baby. They put me on a different one for now, but it definitely doesn't help as much. There is a possibility that I'll have to go off another one while pregnant. I think I can handle that, but I think the IVF stress would be too much for me without something. Trying to get it all worked out. Some days are definitely easier than others.

How exciting for an upcoming birthday party though. Do I remember you saying you are making the "smash" cake for this party? How fun! Hopefully you can share a photo, if others don't mind.

Thanks again for the cheer up!

 

[lesondemavie]

Bronte - We went to this wonderful museum in Madrid. I'll try to find the name of it in my journal. Lots of good food, but hang on to your wallet in the busy square. I like the pacsafe line. I just had a regular zipper bag with a flap back then. Caught a small girl with her hand in my purse and on my wallet behind me. So glad I didn't lose my wallet that day! We took an overnight bus from Madrid to Lisbon and spent a few days over there too. Great little side trip if you have the time.

 

[BronteForever]

Les - great tips. I'll have to check out the pacsafe line. I've been using Baggallini a lot when I travel and usually hide some money elsewhere on the body, but I'm obsessed with travel bags. Sometimes I'll spend hours just looking online at them. I've yet to find the perfect bag for me, so always love suggestions before buying a new one! I'll make sure to be extra vigilant in Madrid. You are the second person that's recommended Lisbon to me. I wish we had time, but I don't think we will this trip. I'm putting it on my list for future travel! Let me know the museum name if you find it! Both my husband and I usually like museums (probably myself more so then my husband). We might hit up the Museo del Prado, but we'll see. Did you go to a bullfight while you were there. I'm kind of interested, since they are everywhere. But we aren't into animal violence and not sure I could stand it.

 

[mrs unicorn]

Bronte - so sorry hun I am constantly shocked by the insensitivity of the medical profession. This journey is so difficult and stressful without having to deal with finances and unhelpful people along the way. It makes me so angry and sad at the same time. But you will get through this. You are so so close. You haven't come this far, to only get this far - if you know what I mean?! And we will be here (virtually) holding your hand all the way through it. And it's totally ok to have bad days, angry days, teary days - we've all had (and are still having) our fair share!

 

[mrs unicorn]

BTW - The Prado in Madrid is immense. You can lose a whole day in there!

 

[RichieesMom]

Bronte, Mrs U took the words right out of my mouth for u

Les, add me to the wall!

Aayla, forget those people. Uv got us!

Mrs U, even if not this month, then that just means ur a month closer to ur baby. That goes for all of us!

 

[BronteForever]

Thanks so much ladies for cheering me up. You all are the best!

mrs u - the Prado museum looks immense. That's why it's a maybe. Not sure we want to devote a whole day to it.

 

[Aayla]

Thanks richies. It is nice to be a part if some new threads. My old ttc after loss is basically dead. Most have got their rainbow bfp and I think the few that are left no longer want to post in it. It is usually just me updating lol.

 

[raine87]

Les-- add me to the wall too!

Had to take my dog to the vet yesterday for her annual check up and the vet we saw thinks she's older than originally thought. We got her from a shelter 2 years ago and they suspected she was 2 so that would make her 4 but he thinks she's 6 or 7. Broke mine and DH's heart. She's our baby. We feel like we lost 2 years with her.

 

[BronteForever]

Oh Raine, I'm so sorry. I can't even imagine feeling you lost some time with your baby.

I'm not a huge animal person but my husband convinced me to get a dog about 4 years ago and he has won me over on every level and he is totally our spoiled rotten baby and I love him to pieces. He's 10 now and everytime I think of his age it makes me so sad. I just want him to be around forever. I can't imagine finding out he might be older than expected. That had to be really hard. Hope your dog has a long and healthy life. They are such a blessing and so incredibly loving to have around.

 

[lesondemavie]

Bronte - I think it was the Sorolla museum. It's an old house converted into a museum. Makes for a much cozier experience

 

[BronteForever]

Bronte - I think it was the Sorolla museum. It's an old house converted into a museum. Makes for a much cozier experience

Sounds lovely. I'm not familiar with Sorolla's work but I just looked it up and it looks beautiful. I'll definitely look into it. Sounds much more manageable than the Prado. I think we'll only be in Madrid for 3 days and they might be shorter days. Most of our time will be in Aviles. I've been looking for some day trips from there but not having a ton of luck. I think we will wing it and find something that looks good when we get there and that works with our schedule.