TTC #1 AL Buddies 2016 Newcomers Welcome

[lesondemavie]

Bee - I know about that temp drop right??? At least there's no ambiguity really. I did get the same drop my BFP cycle but my thermometer was acting up. I tested today just in case and bfn it is. Hope I'm not jumping the gun by changing my photo (a tradition I stole from you - but imitation is the greatest form of flattery right?) and enjoying a glass of wine tonight 😁. Your wedding photo is BEAUTIFUL btw!!! So jealous of those curls! Also hooray for the all clear to BD to your heart's content! Haha that's actually not a bad idea for April fools. Cheers to date nights! You're treading on uncharted territory for you, so it actually makes complete sense that you're getting such mixed feelings. It's hard to know what to expect. As hard as TTC is, there is a certain rhythm and predictability to it that I find comfort in. I think that's why I don't want to try vitex or b6 to lengthen my LP. I don't like the uncertainty of it. Hopefully though it works the first time and then pregnancy will be the new routine to learn!

MrsU - That sounds like a great plan. There is absolutely still a chance for you this cycle. Fx you'll have a lot of extra tests that you don't need!

Bronte - Hope you're doing well. What is your next step now and when?

 

[BronteForever]

So is your tradition to change photos to mark the new cycle? If so, I love it. Kind of like a cleansing and a fresh start each month. Love the new photos, girls. Absolutely gorgeous dress, Bee.

Les, so sorry for the negative test. But it sounds like you have a great attitude about it and your positive energy is infectious.

I have tests next Thursday so I'll know a lot more after that. Still going to try this month--all natural--because it certainly couldn't hurt anything Just no nipple stimulation before my blood test next week which they were nice enough to remind me about 10 times during my visit. Hopefully I'm not the only one that occasionally finds it hard not to laugh in an RE's office.

 

[Clarinet90]

Hey ladies!

I haven't been around to check in with how things are going. I've been busy and I haven't been able to get my laptop out. My phone is able to get on, but typing is so much easier on a computer than a phone.

Unfortunately, I have bad news to share. Sigh.

I got a faint positive on a frer last week on the day of my missed period. Of course I was super excited, but also nervous because the line was so faint. I took another test last saturday, and it was still faint. I took a digital and a stick test yesterday and the stick was still faint, but the digital was positive. It said Positive 1-2 weeks. I was so happy to finally have a clear result and was ready to stop buying tests and peeing on sticks.

Today at work though I started bleeding, and it just kept getting heavier with really severe cramping and clotting. I had a chemical pregnancy since it was just under 5 weeks according to my lmp.

I am totally heartbroken, but more calm than I was when I miscarried the first time. I was able to hold it together at work, but burst into tears as soon as I walked through the door at home.

I feel so hopeless and broken and I am just so frustrated that for a 2nd time, I am not able to keep my babies. I was feeling pretty good about it too, I didn't have my feelings of doom, but I did have some worry which was apparently justified. I am so scared to get pregnant again. The pain of losing a pregnancy is so so terrible.

 

[BronteForever]

Oh Clarinet, huge hugs. I am so sorry for your loss. I don't know anything to say to make you feel better, but just know that you are not alone. Right now it's easy to feel hopeless because you just lost something precious to you. Take all the time you need to process and grieve. And know that when or if you are ready again there are options out there to try to help figure out why you've suffered two losses close together and provide more hope moving forward. Hang in there. I'm so sorry this happened to you again.

 

[lesondemavie]

Oh clarinet! I'm so very sorry . I'm glad that you are doing okay, but I know your heart must be breaking. There are no words really in moments like these. Just know that we are here. We will listen. We share your sadness.

 

[Clarinet90]

Thank you, ladies.

My heart is breaking, but I know I'll be okay. It's just hard though to be so excited about something just to have it ripped away. We all know the feeling, but it hurts so bad every time. I was really hoping this was it. Now I'm terrified that I'm not going to be able to have children, and today I don't even want to try again. I want to, but it's scary. Idk when we'll try again, but I'm really hoping this is the last time I have to go through this.

I'm glad to have a place to vent and express myself. Thank you all for being so supportive

Time for some wine

 

[mrs unicorn]

Clarinet, sweetheart, I'm so sorry I really feel for you. The heartbreak is unimaginable but we are all here to listen if you need us. Take lots of time to work through this. I understand your fears about the future but don't even think about trying again just yet, or panic over it. You need to grieve first. My heart goes out to you

 

[beemeck]

thanks les! the curls are not natural and took lots of time and hairspray! love your new pic too!

bronte - yes - new cycle, new pic, new hope! something like that..... I wonder if I have enough pics of myself to get me to my baby It was a little corny, but the other day in my fertility yoga class the teacher was talking about spring being the time for new life. Maybe it's because spring already brings out the best in me (I HATE cold and winter) but it kind of resonated with me. New life, new hope, new chances. This is the cycle that I conceived last year. Here's hoping March/April are my lucky months and all of our lucky months!

clarinet - my goodness, I am so sorry to hear all that. It doesn't matter how soon/brief it is, when see you that "pregnant" on the test, your life changes. I can't imagine having that happen to me and I wish I could send you hugs (and a bottle of wine) !

My trigger shot is being delivered to my office today waiting on the fed ex guy like a kid on xmas!

 

[beemeck]

wait les - just saw your chart.......?! What's going on?

 

[lesondemavie]

Um I know right? Took an frer this morning and BFN. Thinking it could just be from the glass of wine? Guess I'm back in limbo and not out just yet. Will keep you all posted.

 

[BronteForever]

Les, definitely keep us posted!

Bee - I'm a fan of cheesy and corny during this journey. I think you need a little bit of that to not take this time too seriously. Otherwise you can get ultra focused on TTC. This is also the cycle of my ectopic and it will be 7 years next week. I can't believe it's been that long. I like to do something therapeutic on my surgery anniversary every year. I'm growing my hair to donate it, so I might try to get it cut that day.

 

[melissakate]

Oh Clarinet- I am so sorry for your loss. No matter how early, the pain is no less. Props to you for keeping it together at work, you're strong!

Les-I hate the "limbo" part. It's worse not knowing than just getting AF and getting pumped and ready for the next month!

I started the clearblue fertility monitor this month and am on day 7. I usually don't ovulate until 16 or 17 (kind of late and I have a 12 day LP). Here's to hoping this expensive thing helps us out! This is month 4 TTC after my D&C. Never gets easier but every month is like a new challenge. I agree, I like the routine of my cycle and get nervous trying all the recommended tips. I have been recommended the Soy Isoflavones, but I also read if you already ovulate regularly, they can mess up a good cycle. Anyone try it before?

 

[lesondemavie]

Mel - I've read the same but have not tried it for that very reason. I ovulate regularly and it worked before so I'm not going to mess with it.

Sooo I went from feeling really positive to now feeling kinda crampy and my cm is tinged a bit...I think despite that trick temp and cp AF is still on the way. If that's the case, the witch should be here by tonight. Will let you all know.

 

[lesondemavie]

Looks like it was just my temps fooling me. AF arrived right on schedule tonight. That's the last time I cheat and have a glass of wine the day before AF is due!

 

[mrs unicorn]

Leson - at least you're out of the limbo now. Not fair that af casually arrived a bit late though. Like it's not hard enough without that!

Melissa - never tried them, I'm always scared to try anything that could interfere though! Is it to help you ovulate? Do you think you're not oing?

Bronte - I might be about to sound super naive but what's with the no nipple touching thing?! That made me laugh!

So I tested this morning and bfn. I didn't get my bfp until 11 DPO but the day before an IC made me suspicious. Unfortunately not this time. I'm a little bit disappointed (that hope is always there right?) but I also expected it. Af is due on Thursday so I'll just hang around waiting for her now.

 

[melissakate]

Hi all,

les- ugh, the worst! But glad you are out of limbo. I know its controversial but my doctor has a drink till it's pink mentality. Between all my 2ww the first round of ttc, I would eliminate wine (that's really all I drink). I started cutting out all the stuff I love and she said I'll drive myself crazy if I did that. Definitely a person decision but i wouldn't feel guilty about the glass of wine!

Mrs U- I think they are kind of like a natural clomid. I'm almost positive I'm ovulating and my doctor has done follicle scans to see right before ovulation BUT there is always room for doubt.

struggling to get through today should enter into my fertile week next week! Hopefully peaking Friday or Saturday

 

[lesondemavie]

Mel - Thanks for the reassurance! That was the attitude I had before my mc, but since I wasn't drinking at all while pg it was easy to just keep it that way. I have the odd glass here and there, but try to abstain for the most part. My ob is of the no alcohol after O mentality. I've also read studies that show even moderate drinking affects fertility, and potentially egg and sperm quality during the FP. The first cycle I cut it out during the FP is the first cycle I got a BFP, but that could be coincidence. Going to enjoy date night tonight and then back to my sparkling waters and and dry sodas until what will hopefully be my next BFP! Sorry you're struggling, but at least it is Friday! . Cheers to your next fertile window. I'll be right behind ya!

Mrs U - That is a long time to wait for AF after BFNs! Hoping it turns into a BFP instead. Fx

 

[beemeck]

bronte - love that you do something to commemorate the anniversary each year. I'm trying to plan something for May 11, the day I actually lost the baby. I can't believe it's been 7 years for you! sending you hugs and glad that we are going through this tough time together

melissa - we will be TWW buddies!! I'm going next Friday for my ultrasound. the hope is that the eggs are ready to go and I can trigger that night and have the IUI on Sunday. so we can go through the loooong wait together I'm also a big fan of drink 'til it's pink! since losing the baby, I've tried everything, including cutting out alcohol, and nothing. after so many months, you can't keep changing your life so much plus the month I got my bfp was probably the most drinking yet! we were in Europe drinking beaucoup vino!

mrs u - sorry about the bfn but there is still a littttttttle bit of time FX!

les - another tww buddy - hooray! I'm gearing up for the hardest, longest TWW yet. the IUI will have my hopes way high and if it fails they will be waaaay low. eek!

 

[mrs unicorn]

Aw I'm so far behind you guys. Ah well the excitement of following you all through your TWW will help me get through the first week of mine!

I'm having a nightmare with faint lines / shadows on FRERs at the moment. (I've posted it in the preg test section if anyone wants to look, not that there's much to see!) I'm an idiot for testing this early. Probably the worst cycle for this to happen in. Never had this before, it's always been stark white or obvious line. I'm not getting my hopes up. It'd be too good to be true. Will someone give me a virtual slap if I say I'm going to do a FRER at 10 DPO again please!

 

[beemeck]

hmmm unicorn, seems like I can see something on the first pic you posted... but not the second, odd. I don't know too much about hpts. I mostly don't test at all and when I do it's with cheapies. def keeping my FX extra tightly now....!