TTC 1st child 35+ (Please spoiler any PG news/announcements).

[dashka]

Hi Ladies...

After reading all the posts about the fears and how life is unfair (which it completely, totally is and it sucks!), I wanted to give you all a good laugh.

https://www.fox.com/cleveland/full-episodes/1333144/the-hurricane

Frol - I can't watch the link - it's probably geo-filtered outside of US... but I will watch it when I'm at work tomorrow (as we are on a US server there)...
thanks!

 

[Dwrgi]

only have a few minutes but just caught up some more.... wow everyone seems to be having nightmares - hope they all go away for everyone

B-Down - hope the side effects of meds get better..... drinking water is an excellent suggestion Dwrgi...

Dwrgi - oh hun - you go eat that chocolate and whatever else will comfort you... I am so tempted to gorge on stuff right now.... But trying to fight it.. No worries on the "hysterically" thing - I knew what you meant Sending you lots of and strength to get through this week....

Lils - WOMAN!!!!!! you do whatever it takes to fight that NASTY depression thing off! Don't listen to it okay!!!! ignore: We are all here for you I know you are going to be successful at this - you are a fighter!
Glad there are no hurricanes there yet... was worried about my little Floridians.... What a disaster with the intralipids/nurse!!! I can't believe that it took that long to get IV in ...and she is a nurse?? and the stuff went outside of your vein? Oh how scary... I would definitely ask for someone else... you are paying for this right? so don't be afraid to ask.
Hey - re: DH -after I read your post -a question came to mind - do you think part of you wonders if DH is wanting this as much as you do and somehow that is troubling you inside?? I ask because I can relate to this - I have had these talks with DH often to try and find out if he wants this as much as I do or if he thinks I'm crazy - but think he doesn't want to tell me he wants it as it will upset me /put more pressure on me (so he thinks) I keep telling him it will HELP me to know that he wants it. Going to the RE together helped a bit because he was there and answered questions and wasn't opposed to the idea of IVF (yet..) I know you will figure this out!

Pad - GL with bloodwork and new GP! Hope you never have those nightmares again....

Mirium - NYC ! how exciting! hope you ov before you go!

Tiger - GL this week ! You go girl!!! PS - that was a funny dream you had - I usually don't remember my dreams either - but the week before AF I don't sleep as well...

Fro - nice to see you !!! and thanks for your comments

Butterfly - take your time hun - you have lots on your plate right now...

Nessaw - sorry about DH's SA results!! Yes I would get re-tested in a few months - It takes about 3 months after you start supplements to see the difference (sperm life cycle is similar to our eggs)... My DH takes, 30mg Zinc, Vit C, CoQ10, and Active Men's multi-vitamin... (he was also taking at one point L-Carnitine which is really good for that too)

AFM - the arrived this early afternoon - so today is CD1....Feeling pretty sad -for my day off today but I guess better that I'm not at work (instead kept busy with housework!) Rats - I've already tried to re-schedule that app't last week but they were filled on the other days (between my AF and ov) and have to go at the beginning of cycle .... Oh well... maybe I'll wait til closer to and then reschedule for next month... just so friggin hard to predict as my window before ov is so small.... I really hope this month was a fluke (ov at day 10)... I thought day11 was bad enough. I really hope that the RE's prediction that I may have endometriosis is wrong... but ofcourse I've been worrying about that. (frequent urination & loose bowel movements -TMI before period, fatigue, legs cramps on CD1 and so on -although I don't have the other symptoms - don't even have much belly cramps this month)

Watched Extreme Makeover -Weightloss edition last night- anyone else hooked on that show?? I was motivated as she reminded me that my pain (since knee injury 4 yrs ago) has made me use that as an excuse for a lot of things... not exercising etc... I need to get back my old self .... stop worrying about weather exercising is going to 'hurt' something in there.... etc... I have had no energy for months and months and need to get back to eating better too.. and drink tons more water... (something that has been lacking). I need to do this for myself (not for TTC) just for ME!

Gotta run - but sending to you all.....

I am sooo very sorry that AF showed. I so hate her. I hope you are being really kind to yourself, and sod that healthy lifestyle plan until she goes!!! You need some TLC right now and that includes self-administered TLC!!

What an absolute pain that you can't reschedule your appointment. Hmm, defo wait to see what happens with your next cycle, and try and book something in closer to the time. That is really good thinking.

Incidentally, my consultant counts the first full day of flow as day 1. I so wish these guys all agreed on this very simple thing!

Big to you, and as I write, I'm tucking into cheddar and onion kettle chips and some cider (yay yay yay). And, really naughty, as it flouts my 'No food after 8pm' rule-it's 10.15 pm!! F**k it!!!

 

[dashka]

Go for it Dwrgi!!! You do it! YUM ...now I want chips too.... Have to eat dinner now though....

Yeah my ND says if you get it before 4pm it counts as CD1.... and mine arrived around Noon today.... wish they could agree on these things too!!

 

[janey211]

Thank you for all the advice everyone I have started taking my temp but it is so hard. I typically have to use the bathroom in the Early AM and always forget to take it. I am going to set an alarm for 5am to take it.

I have cut out drinking during the week all together. Will limit it to moderation on the weekends and not at all during O time. I think moderation is best!
I received my FSH level and it was 5 something. The doctor hasn't called me yet but according to what I am reading that number is fine. I will discuss with her the progesterone issue and see what she suggest. When I talked to her last, she didn't make a big deal about it.....Guess I'll need to do that for her. I am CD 10 today and have started my OPK roller coaster. I am going to push to see a specialist next month. In the meantime, continue working out, and doing what we do with good hopes and prayers!

Good luck to everyone and I LOVE seeing the BFP's. Keep them coming!!!

 

[luvmydoggies]

Hi my lovies...have missed you all so much!

I felt like after getting dx with pcos....I was so depressed and down. I turned 39 in June. I did go to Duke's in Malibu, our bday tradition. I have a lot of catching up to do.

My cousin had her third baby who was born 3 months ago. A baby girl. She called me from the hospital when her water broke. I had to hear the convo...from her to the nurse...It was a dagger through my heart. I have never been able to experience any of that.
I sent her a very nice gift and a card. Now, she calls and tells me about breast feeding and every detail....It is so hard on me. She was always very competitive with me growing up. I almost feel like she is throwing it in my face...like look how fertile I am and you're not. Sorry for the rant.

The good news is I have been able to lose weight, while working with my endo.
He would like me to lose quite a bit more before he will give me fertility medicine.

 

[grkprn]

Dashka - you'd be surprised, you may have home health care there too? People need infusion services after hospital visits for various reasons (but don't really need to be in a hospital setting). Perhaps I shall put my google skills to the test for you (never too early...).

GrkPorn - So did you start Clomid? You can start it now - people either start CD3-CD5, so you're good to go . Sorry you don't like RE but better to switch now if you have to switch you know? So glad you had a nice birthday dinner w/friends & ! That's the best kind of birthday, I think. I actually think of you every Friday night (as I'm having dinner w/friends & !) bc we are now always eating at this Greek place (Opa! [smash plate]) & its so good, but this is why I think of you (just took it last Fri night): haha

Haha! I am behind the times!! I missed a week! Love the pic and I love Greek food! thanks for posting!

My original RE wanted me to wait a month to restart Clomid until I had a more normal period (I only had a day and a half of light bleeding....normally have 5 days of bleeding). I had a consult with the new RE this morning and I feel SO much more comfortable with him! I finally have a plan of care.

So 2 more months of Clomid, then injectables (gonal f) starting in December or January. Feels good to have a plan, if you know what I mean!

and to all!

 

[grkprn]

You know Purple, the more the morning goes on, the more I want to shout and scream and cry and cry and cry. There are babies, and pregnant women (no offence meant, you're allowed!) and families with adorable young kids everywhere. Fellow classmates from school flood FB with images of their 'adorable' holiday photos, with their kids growing up and being all so normal. Even a friend of mine through BnB has put photos of her pregnant belly on FB, without any warning. It is everywhere. And completely eludes some of us. Where is the justice? It's just not fair. But life was never fair, and that's the bottom line of it. Never, ever thought I'd be the 'infertile' one out of my friends; no kids. And that's really hard to accept.

Oh well, Debbie Downer is now going on a bike ride through some forests with a husky pulling her on her bike. My summer holiday starts right now. Bas^ards and bollo* to bl**dy bl**dy bl**dy F**CKING infertility.

(Love you loads though, Purps! )

Dwrgi---sending you loads of ! I know just how you feel, as I felt that way about 2 weeks ago. I hope your ride with your pups helped to clear your mind (even if just for a little bit!)

 

[purplelou]

good morning ladies !
It's only Tuesday but it feels more like thursday...I know I am going to be disappointed to wake up tomorrow and find that it isn't Friday yet

anyway .....

Luv - Welcome back lovely!! lovely to see you. sorry your cousin isn't being more sensitive... that's mean and if I were you I'd say, sorry its making me sad to discuss this!

Dwrgi - you are on holiday so you are completely entitled to eat crisps and drink cider at any time!! and actually it should be encouraged because the school holidays seem to be flying by enjoy yourself lovely - you deserve it!

tiger - good luck for Friday hun xxx Ill be thinking about you. this is a very long protocol for ivf isn't it. I didn't realise they could vary sooo much! (although of course I am going by what ladies here had done only)

Chicken - fingers crossed for catching that eggy

Nessaw - bah for the SA results - but a lot of women here (and actually across this board) have had poor results and it does seem that supplements can and do help so all is not lost chick

Frol and Asry and DrS and Madelaine - squishy mommy how're you guys doing??

Lils - big giant I think your dh might be just trying to cushion that sdaness. my dh would say things like "we'll be ok together - just you and me" all the time - especially after the MCs. bless him, it's cos he loves you (and so do we!)

Butterfly - DH is now checking out your bungalow journal - its soo cool to watch it coming along! hope your back is feeling better ??? take it easy xxx

Ksluice hope this is your lucky month!! how's everything so far??

Dashka - I hopeyour sleep since the dreams has been untroubled chick? big for you. I am not completely convinced on the shortening cycles always meaning you are closer to menopause so try not to worry - in many cases cycle get longer - much longer too!

LadyH-hope you are enjoying your little break!! take it easy chick

Pad - big squeezy are you feeling better now?? is dh with you now ?

Mirium- to you chick, hope you can catch that eggy before your visit to the parents xxxx

Owl and Maddy - and to you ladies xxx

HTJ - I know your away but here are some in case you need them xxx

BDown - I am glad that things are a bit better with your dh - this ttc will put strain on anyone

DrH- are you still enjoying a lovely trip?? hope you are having fun!!

Greek porn - Its fab to have confidence in your doctor and also to have a plan in place. makes everything seem managable then !!

big loves to ladies that might be lurking - including Twinks and HA and anyone I have not mentioned!

AFM - not much to report - all ok here but I am gearing up for a hospital appointment so I can have my weird eye looked at on Friday - remember one pupil suddenly went huge in comparison to the other?? well it's still like it so I am seeing the eye person on Friday. I hope they don't want to poke anything into my eye cos I would probably (bit of a phobia bout that) Im hoping they will say it's one of those things and do nothing (fingers crossed)

 

[padbrat]

Hey all!

Dwrgi come over to me... this is the homeland of all cidery type things! Hmmmm yum!

Lils, Dash, Purps, Butterfly.... what would happen to me without you all??? Lils I too was savaged yesterday when that woman took my bloods... I was bleeding out all yesterday!

Tiger... best of British to you for Friday!

Grk welcome back!

AFM well following my tests yesterday morning I got a call from a Dr last night saying that my thyroid was still way out! In 6 months i have dropped from 150mg levothyroxine to 25mg (lowest dose possible).... she is absolutely confused as to why this is happening... my thyroid started to mess about after my last 2 pregnancies last year... Dr said that pregnancy certainly does affect thyroid levels...but they should not be this badly affected for this long. She is as confused as I am. Have to go back in 6 weeks for another test....

She also said that my levels being so far out will definately have contributed to me not getting pregnant for over a year...

OMG frikkin thyroid.... sod off!!!!!

 

[chickenchaser]

How do you ladies cope with so many BFP announcements?

 

[purplelou]

Pad - ooh that sucks!! however if they can get things stable you might get preggers really easily....I really really hope so!!

 

[Dwrgi]

Hello lovelies!

Luv-welcome back! I've missed your posts! Hmm, bah to your cousin. I would tell her straight that you're not in a place to deal with her news at the moment, or just ignore the phone when she calls or texts. She'll soon get the message. Good news on the weight losss. That's real progress, Axxx

Purps-I remember you said about your eye. I hope they can get it sorted without too much poking and prodding around! GL! (Yes, the hols are flying past-).

Pads-oh my, you've been through it. At least the good news is that they've finally picked up on this thyroid problem, which is hugely encouraging. It's a step in the right driection! Where are you living now, if you don't mind me asking??? Big to you, Axxxx

Lils- big , how are you feeling today lovely? xxxx

Chicken-OMG, do I know that one. Constant BFPs, scan pictures where you least expect them, random conversations about kids, FB full of family shots, and cute kids. I even had our stupid photocopying assistant in work on the phone to a friend last term, talking about seeing a woman in her 50s at the school gates, and how old she was to be picking up her daughter. 'Oooh, it couldn't have been her daughter, could it? She was far too old to be her mother!' Fu*k off, fu*k off, FU*K OFF!!!!!!! IDK, it doesn't get any easier, is all I can say. But, I will send you a big though, as I know how you feel, Axxxxx

Grk Prn-good to have you back! Defo good to have a plan. FX that you won't need your plan though!!

Tiger-hope stimms going well! xxxx

Dash-how are you feeling today lovely?? Hope work isn't treating you badly, and you have something nice planned for your weekend, to look forward to!

Ksluice-good luck to you! Stick, embie, stick! xxxxx

Butterfly-

Mirium-any sign of The Big O???? GL!!

Asry & Frol-hello girls! How are you both?

Twinkle & HA-sigh...... HELLO!!!

Ness-are you back safe and sound?? Now the laundry!!

Owl, Maddy, Dr H, Janey, BDM-hello girls! Big to you all, Axxxx

Tested negative this morning, OTD, as I knew. Funny thing was that despite the dip in temps, and the complete lack of symptoms, I was willing that second line to appear, right up till the last second. God, I'm a fool (a "ffwl dwl" as my ma and pa would say). So, am now off the hormones and waiting for the evil witch to arrive, although for what, I don't know. It doesn't do me any good, does it? May as well take my ovaries out as there's nothing in there that works, and all I get is the pleasure of the period and the pain. Grrrrr. What's the point??!!! Bar stewards and bo**ox is all I can say!! I really do feel better for swearing though, must say. Has a certain satisfactory feel to it!

Oh, and I'm also going to stop wasting a fortune on expensive vits. I'll finish what I've got and then that's it, just a multi vitamin from now on. Time to put the lid on that box, I think!

Big to all, Axxxx

 

[drhouse]

Hellooooooo my lovelies.....

have been thinking of you all and have had a skim over the crappola months that we are all having! Thank goodness for such a wonderful group of strong and generally upbeat most of the time women. You are all such an inspiration.

My news... yes a friend is 20 weeks. Yes this friend has been "in a relationship" for 20 weeks. Hmmm...last I looked pregnancy prevention was actually quite easy.... I had a minor wobble, cried a bit to DF2B about how those who do the right thing (I swallowed the morning after pill a year after we were together despite a stable relationship with a marriage committment on the table - as he wasn't ready) and get one outcome, while those who do what they feel like - get up the outcome that I would have loved.

Yip. How does life turn out this way. Dwrgi.. I get you.... life is not always fair and good things don't always happen to good people. So having a pity moment for five mins did help but then I went for a run and now I feel a heap better. All I can do is get skinnier/healthier and more fertile.

Neesaw - sorry about the SA. Multivits for men, no drugs alcohol or smoking and maybe daily BDing - isn't that supposed to reduce sperm degradation?

Dwrgi - hugs hugs

Purples - hope the bump is super... and your dad's health is stabilising. I took my dad on hols for a week to asia - time is so important as we all get older..... I am sure he will be excited about the baby. Thinking of you re. the eye bizzo - I know that you can get access to the right advice!

Asry/Dr S/Frols/Flutter my goodness all you bump buddies.. I hope that you are having a dream run......(and I wouldn't mind sitting on the same chair/holding mouth the same way/hopping on your left foot - what ever tricks you lovely ladies have!!!)

Pad, thank goodness you know about the thyroid.... one step closer to getting it fixed. Hugs!!!!!!!!

Lils - crappola about the veins. A few tricks - be well hydrated prior if you can and she can put a hot towel on your arms to increase the vein size for five minutes pre trying. Everyone thinks they are good at IV cannulation and they aren't always so you can ask for someone else if you can't bear it.....

Tiger - good luck for Friday - crossing fingers for you.

Good luck and baby dust for Ksluice, Bdown, chicken, HA, Mirium, Owl, Maddy and all the other ladies trying.....

Dash - So sorry to hear about the night mares.. frightening.... I am sure that its your mind and bodies way of dealing with the stress of BIF - also know as bollocks infertility thanks dwrgi..... here is some medical literature for you re. stuff I would try if I had them - found at

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2806673/ which I don't think can hurt and isn't drug therapy eg prazocin - not good when trying for small people.


.........behavioral approach for the treatment of nightmares is imagery rehearsal therapy (IRT) and its variants. The goal of IRT is to decrease the frequency and/or intensity of nightmares by repeatedly rehearsing (practicing) new dream scenarios during wakefulness, and revising compensatory cognitions and behaviors that perpetuate nightmares. In comparison to desensitization, IRT does not involve exposure to distressing material. Rather, IRT emphasizes rescripting the original nightmare scenarios into new, non-distressing dream scenarios that are then mentally rehearsed several times per day. Exposure to the original nightmare scenarios is discouraged and repeated sessions of mental rehearsal of new dream scenarios are implemented, daily, one to three times per day. Generally, the instructions on how to create new dream scenarios are minimal. Patients may choose to alter the ending of the dream, to change specific elements of the original content (e.g., characters, nature of interpersonal and social interactions), or to create an entirely new dream scenario.

A series of controlled studies showed that rescripting and mentally rehearsing new dream scenarios alone, with limited to no exposure to the distressing dream content or intense emotional reactions, can significantly alleviate idiopathic nightmares and PTSD-related nightmares in patients reporting at least one nightmare per week98, and sleep complaints48, 99. A large controlled trial with sexual assault survivors with trauma-related nightmares replicated these findings by showing clinically meaningful improvements in nightmare frequency, reduced severity of daytime PTSD symptoms, and improved sleep quality compared to women assigned to a wait-list control group100.


Luv my doggies - sending you and me skinny vibes now!!!!!!

Grkprn - so pleased you have a doc that you like and trust. You need a great medic on your team! Go Greece!

So holidays were awesome, hiking in the mountains, meeting the step children, laughing our heads off, spending heaps, eating well, sleeping lots... great photos of the best holiday ever of me and the love of my life. No engagement ring yet... apparently its going to be really really big... as it has taken SOOOOOO LLOOOOONNNNGGGGGGG to turn up!! wink wink.. we will see! Not allowed to mention D, E or R words... yes diamond, ring or engagement or the three month countdown starts again.. yes I know he is joking but good things that come to those who wait!!!!!!!!!! woo hooo!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[padbrat]

Cwutches for Dwrgi...I am in Glocs now so not so far from you in Wales... come and drink cider with me. It will replace your sore heart with a sore head!

Dr H hol sounds fabby! Remind your OH that traditionally an engagement ring should be a MIN of a months salary... GROSS! LOL

Actually I could do with some med advice about my thyroid for all you med experts... I was diagnosed with an underactive thyroid in 2005 and put on 50mg... that rose to 75mg which I stayed on for quite a long time. Then with my 4th pregnancy that rose to 100mg and then 150mg with the fifth pregnancy. It stayed at 150mg for 6th pregnancy and for about 6 months following that. So for the last 6 months or so my tests have shown me massively out (one of the levels was 54 and my Dr said that was bad..heart palps, sweats etc) and since then my levels of meds have been dropping to the point I am now on 25mg the lowest dose... with another blood test in 6 weeks.

Can the thyroid regenerate? How have my levels been so wrong for so long? How can I go from 150 to 25 in a period of 6 months?

My thyroid was shown as dead in an ultrasound I had in 2005.

What the hell is going on? Can anyone shed any light on this? Or is this normal?

 

[chickenchaser]

Dwrgi - Thanks honey, it doesn't make it better but it helps knowing i'm not alone.
I know you knew what was going to happen but it doesn't make it any easier, plase dont give up hun. Big hugs and swear away if thats what make you feel better XXX

 

[drhouse]

Cwutches for Dwrgi...I am in Glocs now so not so far from you in Wales... come and drink cider with me. It will replace your sore heart with a sore head!

Dr H hol sounds fabby! Remind your OH that traditionally an engagement ring should be a MIN of a months salary... GROSS! LOL

Actually I could do with some med advice about my thyroid for all you med experts... I was diagnosed with an underactive thyroid in 2005 and put on 50mg... that rose to 75mg which I stayed on for quite a long time. Then with my 4th pregnancy that rose to 100mg and then 150mg with the fifth pregnancy. It stayed at 150mg for 6th pregnancy and for about 6 months following that. So for the last 6 months or so my tests have shown me massively out (one of the levels was 54 and my Dr said that was bad..heart palps, sweats etc) and since then my levels of meds have been dropping to the point I am now on 25mg the lowest dose... with another blood test in 6 weeks.

Can the thyroid regenerate? How have my levels been so wrong for so long? How can I go from 150 to 25 in a period of 6 months?

My thyroid was shown as dead in an ultrasound I had in 2005.

What the hell is going on? Can anyone shed any light on this? Or is this normal?

Pad it depends why you had hypothyroidism. Have you got any diagnoses? Thyroiditis et al? Maybe you have had an increase in your usual hormone production?

 

[janey211]

Pad,

I suffer from this as well. It is weird that your level's have dropped so much but it is good news. Better to be off the meds than on. There is another drug called Armour Thyroid that is recomended. Doctors seem to not want to use it...not sure why. I am on 275 MG which is allot. I haven't connected the issue before now. Going to get my level checked ASAP. If I posted this 2x, sorry, I hit enter and my l last entry went away..

 

[purplelou]

Dwrgi - oh bloody bloody bloody hell!! (I hope BnB doesn't modify me for that!!) I am so sorry - it's

Spoiler

all completely shitty bolloxs, fuck fuckity fuck!!!!

(sorry ladies!)




DrH - welcome back!! your hols sounds amazing!!!! so how did you get along with the step kids to be?? I was thinking about you meeting them!
and no - we will not discuss rings at all except - omg its very exciting!! can't wait to see yours when it happens...have you looked at any???

 

[owl35]

Hello ladies
I've been gone over the weekend and it looks like I have a lot to catch up on. I'm at work so I don't know how much I'll get done but I hope you all have a good week and everybody is hanging in there.

 

[purplelou]

Hello ladies
I've been gone over the weekend and it looks like I have a lot to catch up on. I'm at work so I don't know how much I'll get done but I hope you all have a good week and everybody is hanging in there.

work just gets in the way doesn't it - I could happily surf on here all day if I didn't have to actually stuff at work