What age do you think it is ok to leave children at home?

[lhancock90]

I can only imagine my reaction at being told i have a babysitter at 15.. old enough to decide what college you go to and what exams you want to take to head in which career path but not old enough to be alone for 24 hours?

Edit: how does everyone feel about 13/14/15 year olds going shopping with their friends, potentially alone, going on the bus/train etc?

 

[mum22ttc#3]

I know this is a completely different situation. However I was left in the house for 3 hours by myself when I was 7 or 8, fairly regularly while my mum attended classes. However it was on a fenced base and I couldn't leave the base (about 3milesx2miles) unless I showed ID etc. In that time I used to walk to the shop regularly, go to the library, visit my dad in his office etc. It wasn't even blinked at. I hated military life, but it was one of the perks.

Naively, I really wish that was how real life was...

16? Honestly you couldn't leave your 16 year old alone for one night?!!

I had moved out by then! Lol

16? maybe I'll see when I get there. Under 16? No, there still a child and personally I won't be leaving any of my children alone for the night. I don't really see any need to to be honest?

Well, I can think of plenty of reasons for a night away without a 15 year old in tow!

Probably be shamed now for not wanting to stay home and bake cookies and tuck my 15 year old into bed!

What about if your kids want to go on holiday without you? Most kids around here go away for a week at the beginning of year 11 unsupervised. So that would be 15/16

No, there's no way I would let any of my kids go away unsupervised at the beginning of year 11, DD1 is one of the oldest in her class and even she would only be 15. TBH I've never heard of anyone allowing that around here and find it quite irresponsible.

I'm not saying that i wouldn't want a night away from my 15 year old but personally I will make sure their properly looked after beforehand.

 

[Midnight_Fairy]

Thats why I said older relative. I used to stay with my friends and her parents. That wasnt uncool as I was with my friends.

 

[mum22ttc#3]

I can only imagine my reaction at being told i have a babysitter at 15.. old enough to decide what college you go to and what exams you want to take to head in which career path but not old enough to be alone for 24 hours?

Edit: how does everyone feel about 13/14/15 year olds going shopping with their friends, potentially alone, going on the bus/train etc?

It's not a case of having a babysitter though. I stayed at my Nan's once a week in year 11 and I hope that when my children get older they have a close enough relationship with my family to be able to go stay the night without feeling embarrassed or whatever, just as they do now.
If not then I'll wait another year. it's not that I'm not saying I wouldn't go out, I just wouldn't be staying out.

As for going shopping I would imagine 13-14 maybe? Probably the end of year 8 so DD1 would be coming up 14. I think that's the age that I was probably allowed and most of my friends the same.

 

[lhancock90]

I can only imagine my reaction at being told i have a babysitter at 15.. old enough to decide what college you go to and what exams you want to take to head in which career path but not old enough to be alone for 24 hours?

Edit: how does everyone feel about 13/14/15 year olds going shopping with their friends, potentially alone, going on the bus/train etc?

It's not a case of having a babysitter though. I stayed at my Nan's once a week in year 11 and I hope that when my children get older they have a close enough relationship with my family to be able to go stay the night without feeling embarrassed or whatever, just as they do now.
If not then I'll wait another year. it's not that I'm not saying I wouldn't go out, I just wouldn't be staying out.

As for going shopping I would imagine 13-14 maybe? Probably the end of year 8 so DD1 would be coming up 14. I think that's the age that I was probably allowed and most of my friends the same.

See i'm confused now because, a group of 13 year olds are surely need as much adult supervision as a 13 year old alone? And surely dangers increase outside of the home?

 

[Midnight_Fairy]

I think over night is a different issue. Im not sure about age for town as we live so rural its not an option to bus it to town really lol

 

[lindseymw]

Wow at not leaving at an under 16 year old over night. I was babysitting over night at the age of 15+ years old whilst the mother & father worked nights - they didn't have the luxury of family being around.

Also, at 15 I was going out drinking/clubbing until 4am.

From the age of 12/13, I was allowed to get the bus into the main town (10 miles away), go shopping, go to the Cinemas etc with friends.

At 16, I was working in a Pizza Shop until midnight. I was responsible enough to have a job but according to a few on here, not responsible enough to be left alone. Hell, DH was working 12 hour night shifts at 16 years old.

 

[Aidan's Mummy]

I don't see the issue with leaving a 16 year old for the weekend? I was responsible for my own child at 17, so I don't think leaving a responsible 16 year old alone is an issue? At 16 many are sensible enough to look after them selves for at least a weekend. Of course if a parent feels their 16 year old isn't safe then so be it. But if a 16 year old is deemed mature enough then I don't see the issue.

 

[lindseymw]

^^ That's the thing, Aidan's Mummy. Whilst I wasn't a parent at 17, I was running my own house with my then boyf. I had a full time job, paid the bills, cooked, cleaned etc. If the year before, my parents said I needed a babysitter I would have hit the roof!

 

[Midnight_Fairy]

I think a child at secondary school and leaving school are totally different things. While at school I dont think there is any reason why they need to be alone all night? Im not saying not at all. Just why all night? I was never left at all,yet I still managed to run my own home at 17. Being left alone is not the only way!

 

[mum22ttc#3]

I think a child at secondary school and leaving school are totally different things. While at school I dont think there is any reason why they need to be alone all night? Im not saying not at all. Just why all night? I was never left at all,yet I still managed to run my own home at 17. Being left alone is not the only way!

This

I'm not saying I wouldn't at 16 and as off yet haven't seen anyone else say they wouldn't at 16 either. I'm saying I wouldn't at 15, so basically until they reach 16. I know it's different now but it used to be that you was a school leaver at 16, you could work, move out with parents permission etc, you could never do this at 15 though, at least not in my lifetime anyway.

Edit: and I mean full time work not as in a little part time job etc

 

[Aidan's Mummy]

I think a child at secondary school and leaving school are totally different things. While at school I dont think there is any reason why they need to be alone all night? Im not saying not at all. Just why all night? I was never left at all,yet I still managed to run my own home at 17. Being left alone is not the only way!

I don't think anyone is saying it is the only way but i don't see the harm in leaving a 16 year old alone at night even if they are still a secondary school. What difference would it make? Obviously I wouldn't leave them all night on a school night as I would want to be at home on a school night. But at the weekend? Of course children can learn to be independent without being left alone. But at the same time parents choose to leave their 16 year old alone and as long as they are deemed mature enough, I don't see the big deal . At 16 I was very capable of looking after myself for a weekend. I didn't need a sitter and I knew what to do and who to ring in an emergency. I don't feel my parents were wrong for leaving me.

That's the thing, Aidan's Mummy. Whilst I wasn't a parent at 17, I was running my own house with my then boyf. I had a full time job, paid the bills, cooked, cleaned etc. If the year before, my parents said I needed a babysitter I would have hit the roof!

Exactly. I moved out at 17, ran a house and went to college then uni. I think a lot of 16 year old's are more than capable of looking after themselves for a night or so. Some girls at young as 14/15 look after their own babies independently (Not saying they should have babies before anyone jumps on me) but the point is they do it. It was common practice for them to be living alone and married years ago. Obviously times have changed and our views have changed on that. Although I do think today's society is very overprotective of their children. It's about taking each child individually and deciding if they are capable. If they weren't capable and a parent left them anyway, then yes that would be irresponsible but if they are deemed capable then I think it's fine x

 

[Pearls18]

See forget the capability I would have been too scared to be left on my own at night at 16

 

[hopeandpray]

I think it completely depends on the child. I was left alone at around 13/14 no problem but my sister is 20 and still hates spending a night alone I don't think it's a good idea to leave children alone for long periods of time for a regular basis but I would have no problem with someone leaving a 10 year old in the house for half an hour while I popped out to the shop.

 

[Natasha2605]

I think it absolutely depends on the child (I'm talking the maturity once they reach 13/14 and above).

My sister is 13 but imo more immature than I was at that age. She's never left home alone for more than a couple of hours.

I absolutely disagree with a child under 12 being left alone for ANY length of time in the home for longer than five minutes popping to the shops. I just don't think it's necessary.

As for 6/7 years olds taking care of themselves and walking to school alone, I am stunned Didn't know people really allowed that

 

[Lauraxamy]

I think most 16 year olds are more than capable of being left alone, I moved out at 16, got pregnant at 17 and my parents used to go away on holiday and leave me at home for weeks at a time when I was 14+ (with siblings) and we were always perfectly fine, but children under secondary school age (in my opinion) just shouldn't be left alone for very long periods of time and I don't think leaving them alone all the time teaches them a great amount of independence really.. Children become independent when they're ready in my opinion, for example when they want to go on school trips without parents, sleepovers, holidays, when they move out etc. I want my children to be children for as long as possible and not have the pressure of responsibilities for as long as possible because once you are independent and do have responsibilities life gets a bit more stressful

 

[RaspberryK]

I do think it depends on a lot of factors but I was walking to school alone when I was 7, when I was 8-9 I would either be left at home for half an hour while my mum went to the shop or if it wasn't dark I would go. When I was 10 I was collecting a sibling from nursery and another from infant school.
By 12 I was looking after those siblings after school and for 6-8 hours on a weekend night.
When I was 14 I was babysitting a baby and a toddler for my hairdresser, at 15 I was staying home for 2 weeks by myself getting myself to school etc while my dad and step mum were in holiday. My siblings were still living with my mum then.
At 15 nearly 16 I was looking after my newborn nephew all day and at a few months old I had him more than once overnight on my own.
So I do find it strange that a lot of people wouldn't leave a 15 year old at night.
Xx

 

[emyandpotato]

See forget the capability I would have been too scared to be left on my own at night at 16

I'm still too scared now!

 

[stephx]

16? Honestly you couldn't leave your 16 year old alone for one night?!!

I had moved out by then! Lol

16? maybe I'll see when I get there. Under 16? No, there still a child and personally I won't be leaving any of my children alone for the night. I don't really see any need to to be honest?

Well, I can think of plenty of reasons for a night away without a 15 year old in tow!

Probably be shamed now for not wanting to stay home and bake cookies and tuck my 15 year old into bed!

What about if your kids want to go on holiday without you? Most kids around here go away for a week at the beginning of year 11 unsupervised. So that would be 15/16

Its not like that at all. No one is saying dont go out, get a sitter or they stay with relatives or a friends place. Same as you would with younger children. Why donthe children go away 'unsupervised?' Im guessing they are responsibility of the school at the time which is probably safeguarded.

No, not a school trip. The whole year books a caravan each with their mates and goes away for a week alone. Didn't hear of any parents having issues.

And most babysitters around here are 17-18. Seems abit weird to hire a 17 year old to look after a 15 year old. I'd rather just take the time to teach responsibility and show her some trust.

 

[wishuwerehere]

God at 15 my friends and i were dropped off on the thames path with a tent and a torch and left to have adventures for a few days. And it was fucking awesome, and it makes me sad that people think that's lazy or neglectful - i certainly hope my daughter has experiences like that in her childhood. I'm not personally advocating leaving a primary school age child home alone for very long, certainly not a work day, but i find it crazy that a 16 year old wouldn't be trusted to look after themselves overnight!