Anyone doing FET/IVF Jan/Feb 2016

[miranda007]

Hey! Happy new year and welcome to everyone.

Hi haleiwamama - I'm sorry I have no experience in breast feeding and FET. But why would you have to wait 3 years - do you mean until you finish breast feeding your child? a year breast feeding is pretty decent.

Unlucky41 yeah 5 cycles is a lot. I don’t know how you did it.. I guess you just do don’t you? Hopefully Jan/Feb is lucky for us all

Elz Welcome! wow down 35 pounds. That takes a lot of hard work. Good for you!

Timetotry ah you poor thing.. 3 cycles of birth control would suck. We had to have a few months break between things and even though I knew there was little chance of falling pregnant naturally at least I thought there was some hope. Hopefully you’ll get some answers this week. And yeah for health cover covering it!

almost here. Yeah my husband had low in motility and the other two areas they test. It was a really tough time finding out that's for sure. What was the hardest was not the result it was the fact that he finally got tested 15 months after we got married - and he told me when we were dating we could have trouble (from a previous surgery when he was younger) and was going to get tested before and I said. I love you anyway. So I just felt like that 15 months was crucial (as I'm 36 now) and I get so annoyed at that lost time. I was super peeved at the time. It took me months not to burst into tears about it. I feel like we should have been onto it sooner! Well he. Anyway, I've really had to try and forgive and move forward. It's been hard but looking at what we should have done.. or what he could have done isn't helpful. So we did two egg pick ups.. from the first I’ve got 3 frosties in the fridge (that are genetically tested) and waiting on the results from the second round.
Can totally understand wanting them to not be so far apart. You’ve got that success the first time I really think you’ll be lucky the second time. I also understand the huge desire for wanting to give your little son a sibling. I see my niece who is an only child and it's a bit sad. And the realisation that if we are lucky enough to get pregnant and just have one child, I'll be happy but I'll also feel a bit bad for them. But it doesn't have to be that way it's how you manage it and get lots of their friends over. I'm thinking too far forward!
Kat - you'll start the stims soon! That's exciting. Hopefully that time after getting the horrible CP news has given you a little bit of a break from it all. People say that - but I just can't stop thinking about it! It's been a month and 3 days for the genetic tests.. i'm calling them tomorrow!! It's Monday, no public holidays.. just give me the damn results!

As for me - had a great new years day. We went to Adelaide, to a small little fishing town, and did the cage diving with the great white sharks. Was awesome.. not really that scary they're beautiful creatures.. We saw 4 when we were in the cage. And the day before swam with the sea lions - at one stage there was 30 all around us. So playful.

 

[almosthere]

haleiwamama depending on the reason for ivf you may be able to do a all natural cycle with just progesterone that's what I am doing. We can do this because we have infertility on male side if it's female you will prob need those lovely shots that I had with ivf with ICSI. I Hope the natural cycle could be an option for you so you can continue to breast feed. I know it's not the same bonding wise but you could pump and freeze as much milk as possible before ivf too.

Miranda I totally understand you wanting to start ASAP because of infertility reasons. We had mp odea lf my husbands genetic defect he's apparently had since in the womb! I had this weird intuition that it was going to be a tough road and convinced dh to try when I was 23 and we had a year of no success. We did my first ivf when I was 24 so I feel lucky I'm more nervous now that I'm almost 27 but I know it's still fairly young we were given a 50 50 chance

Unlucky you are amazing 5 cycles wow.

 

[almosthere]

haleiwamama I'm curious what you dr says about chances natural vs medicated my dr told me same chances...I'm wondering if it's because you can control ov with trigger shot but it can be missed if you miss blood work monitoring for a natural cycle?

 

[KatO79]

almost here. Yeah my husband had low in motility and the other two areas they test. It was a really tough time finding out that's for sure. What was the hardest was not the result it was the fact that he finally got tested 15 months after we got married - and he told me when we were dating we could have trouble (from a previous surgery when he was younger) and was going to get tested before and I said. I love you anyway. So I just felt like that 15 months was crucial (as I'm 36 now) and I get so annoyed at that lost time. I was super peeved at the time. It took me months not to burst into tears about it. I feel like we should have been onto it sooner! Well he. Anyway, I've really had to try and forgive and move forward. It's been hard but looking at what we should have done.. or what he could have done isn't helpful. So we did two egg pick ups.. from the first I’ve got 3 frosties in the fridge (that are genetically tested) and waiting on the results from the second round.
Can totally understand wanting them to not be so far apart. You’ve got that success the first time I really think you’ll be lucky the second time. I also understand the huge desire for wanting to give your little son a sibling. I see my niece who is an only child and it's a bit sad. And the realisation that if we are lucky enough to get pregnant and just have one child, I'll be happy but I'll also feel a bit bad for them. But it doesn't have to be that way it's how you manage it and get lots of their friends over. I'm thinking too far forward!

miranda: I don't think kids that grow up without a sibling are necessarily missing out on much. Once they start socialising with other kids, it should pose no issue since they can make many friends. Plus if you get 2 kids with different genders, they probably won't play much with each other anyway. Siblings aren't always a blessing, some grow up and aren't good friends when they're older. I grew up in a dysfunctional home (my narcissistic mother and brother emotionally and verbally abused me all my life, still do) and was practically an only child (since my sister is 10 years older and was living with her father and my brother is 23 years older). But I had many issues, including social anxiety, due the abusive home life I came from which made it hard for me to make friends so I was unfortunately a bit of a lonely kid because most kids shyed away and considered me weird. My mother also encouraged us siblings to feel competitive and practically hate each other: I never hated my siblings but it seems to have worked in them hating me.

Anyway I'm generally uncomfortable with people talking about how they want to give their child a sibling when I most likely won't be able to give the one I'm trying for one (since I'm pushing 37 now). If I do get pregnant after this IVF, we wouldn't be ready to do any FETs (if we even have any frosties after IVF #2) until I'm 39-40 and I'll be a bit too old in my estimation to have a kid at that age as I grew up with older parents and it's definitely not fun (my mother was 42, my father 53) If we had to try naturally, I most likely wouldn't get pregnant anyway. So it makes me feel almost selfish for even trying for #1 because what, I'm a horrible woman for trying for a kid when I most likely won't be able to give him/her a sibling in the future? I also think you should have more kids because you want them, not because you feel that it's the "right thing to do" to give them a sibling under the assumption they won't end up lonely: you have no idea how the sibling relationship will develop, despite best efforts to raise them to feel close and be good to each other.

 

[haleiwamama]

haleiwamama depending on the reason for ivf you may be able to do a all natural cycle with just progesterone that's what I am doing. We can do this because we have infertility on male side if it's female you will prob need those lovely shots that I had with ivf with ICSI. I Hope the natural cycle could be an option for you so you can continue to breast feed. I know it's not the same bonding wise but you could pump and freeze as much milk as possible before ivf too.


...

My doctor says breastfeeding during treatment will lower chances because it acts as a natural contraceptive. I dont like this response for ma y reasons... 1) not everyone is the same. Im breastfeeding quite a bit still (my son likes short breastfeeding sessions) but my prolactin is much lower than it should be at this stage (its within the normal range), 2) doctors definitely disagree about this... I would really like to just go find a doctor that is willing to work with me on this but I live in Hawaii and there are literally only 4 clinics here, so not much of an option. He doesn't do natural cycles either... but Im OK with the medicated cycle... I've researched the drugs thoroughly and checked with my pediatrician too. I did watch a video presentation of a study that compared the results of a medicated and natural cycles in FET and found no significant difference, meaning they have the same success rate (when the issue is male factor)

As to the milk I have some frozen that I can give him and I plan on it, but it might be too late to start pumping again cuz Im getting started in my next period which is in a few days..

 

[miranda007]

Kat I'm really sorry if I offended you. I'm nearly the same age as you and I worry about being an older parent - I'll probably be only to have one child - but trust me I'll be so so so grateful for that blessing. I guess I didn't express what I was feeling very effectively.
You're right sometimes siblings don't get along, sometimes they do though and that has been my experience - I grew up in a really big family and love my brothers and sister. ( even though at times my sister annoys me a little bit!). And I also have seen my two nephews (who I babysit or see once a week) grow up together and be the best of friends. So everyone has a different experience and comes at it from a different angle. I guess I just get annoyed at myself for not starting sooner and the past two years since we got married - which has just felt like we've been drifting in no man's land - but I'm trying to let that go other wise it's not helpful - and just look forward, be positive and focus on getting pregnant and be grateful for one precious child.

 

[KatO79]

Kat I'm really sorry if I offended you. I'm nearly the same age as you and I worry about being an older parent - I'll probably be only to have one child - but trust me I'll be so so so grateful for that blessing. I guess I didn't express what I was feeling very effectively.
You're right sometimes siblings don't get along, sometimes they do though and that has been my experience - I grew up in a really big family and love my brothers and sister. ( even though at times my sister annoys me a little bit!). And I also have seen my two nephews (who I babysit or see once a week) grow up together and be the best of friends. So everyone has a different experience and comes at it from a different angle. I guess I just get annoyed at myself for not starting sooner and the past two years since we got married - which has just felt like we've been drifting in no man's land - but I'm trying to let that go other wise it's not helpful - and just look forward, be positive and focus on getting pregnant and be grateful for one precious child.

Yeah sounds like you came from a normal family - mine was/is unfortunately anything but as you can tell

I think worrying you should've started sooner isn't very conductive - been there, done that. You just never know, you may have had problems 2 years ago as well, it's just impossible to know at this point.

I know I waited because I wanted to have a job first but that never worked out, despite me getting 2 educations (First a Masters in Biotechnology, later a Lab Tech degree; I lack experience and connections which unfortunately means no job in this country, you need either/or in academia jobs). I actually moved here with my narcissistic mother and senile father at 16 so I wasn't born here (I was born in the US). So first gave up finding a job 2 years ago since I wanted to give it 1 year with the last education I took. First I got a "pay by the hour" job through someone my narcissistic mother knows but 2-3 months later quit since I was offered a part-time job (I was still applying) but most of the people were really nasty at that place (especially the woman I had to work with most; she was rude from day 1) and the deputy boss (she was practically the boss as the actual boss was soon retiring) fired me for the stupidest of reasons, the vast majority of them were actually fabricated, within my 3 month trial period - they can do that here! She was really nasty about firing me and was rude and even made me cry and didn't seem to care and just wanted me out. So having been fired within that trial period totally messed up any chances of me getting anything, especially when combined with the first 2½ years and then almost 1 year of unemployment after each education, so I quit and told DH we better get started since I was 34 and we couldn't put it off any longer. Applying for jobs beneath my educational level never panned out either, I was always told I was over qualified, each and every time. So I was waiting for good reasons but it ended up with I should've just had a baby during my job search, it may have actually increased my odds as employers here don't like hiring women that are in their fertile age period, especially if you have 0 children. They don't like having to pay maternity leave plus the wages of the person they need to hire while the woman is away for 12 months. In hindsight I should've never left that hourly job since the people were much nicer and I would've still had that job now but how was I to know the people at the next place were going to be so rude and mean from the get go

Anyway I don't think it's selfish to have 1 child or that there should be any quilt if you can't give the child a sibling, for whatever reason. There is ample opportunity for children to make lots of friends at school and I don't see friendships like that being any less than what a good sibling relationship would give them.

 

[KatO79]

As for house bidding: DH has given our bid and the owners said they'll think about it I have no idea if that's good or not? We only bid about $14,600 under what they want for it (they want about $271,000 for it).

 

[almosthere]

Kat sorry to hear your childhood wasn't the healthiest due to the emotional and verbal abuse. I swear my mom is narcissistic too its horrible to deal with.

I agree to have another child should mainly be because you want to mother another but giving a sibling may be a plus or may not my dh sister fought with him growing up constantly but they are now good together although they love in dif. Countries haha so I'm sure that helps.

Hope everyone is having a great day I am back to work and I think my ad is going to appear any day now then I can schedule cd3 tests and the other one can't think of name of it right now. so excited come on af! Haha

 

[KatO79]

Kat sorry to hear your childhood wasn't the healthiest due to the emotional and verbal abuse. I swear my mom is narcissistic too its horrible to deal with.

I agree to have another child should mainly be because you want to mother another but giving a sibling may be a plus or may not my dh sister fought with him growing up constantly but they are now good together although they love in dif. Countries haha so I'm sure that helps.

Hope everyone is having a great day I am back to work and I think my ad is going to appear any day now then I can schedule cd3 tests and the other one can't think of name of it right now. so excited come on af! Haha

Thanks almosthere Yeah I even had the double whammy going on with a mother and a 23 year older brother being narcissists and dishing out verbal and emotional abuse on a daily basis (combined with me getting picked on in school because the abuse led me to being socially awkward and having social anxiety) So sorry your mother is also narcissistic, I know how difficult and challenging it is to deal with

Totally true, although I don't think anyone is a bad parent if they choose to only have one - my father only wanted one and that's what he got (although at 53, that was perhaps 1 too many given his age). My siblings all have different fathers FYI so we're all half-siblings really. My father was actually an only child as well (his father also only wanted 1 child) and he turned out fine and had no issues making friends so don't think he felt he missed out by not having any siblings. So whether it's a choice or not, I don't think only having one child makes someone a selfish or bad parent.

So great he gets along with his sister but distance does sometimes help in people getting along better. I know me living in Denmark and my toxic siblings living in the US is best as it allows me to have as little contact with them as possible, which at this point is pretty much 0

Hope your CD3 tests give good results, I remember how nerve wracking I found them October 2014 when I had mine done (which came out fine) Is it a HSG to check if your tubes are open (I had one of those in November 2014)?

 

[almosthere]

Yes that test sounds right Kat I think it's the dye test. I had it in 2012 so feels like forever ago! I started spotting today all day I can't believe how regular my as have been after stopping bcps they were all over the place when ttc my first. I should be scheduling my cd3 tests in one or two days since af is right around the corner so stoked!

 

[almosthere]

Hale I totally forgot about the breast feeding as a contraceptive but I have read about woman falling pregnant regardless...not through ivf but naturally so I can imagine it can work with ivf as well just at a lower chance. I never thought of this difficult challenge.

 

[miranda007]

Almosthere - we might be around the same time! I'm waiting for my period too. Bring it on!
Kat - I think your child will be so lucky - one of the many reasons being - because their whole lives you'll make a conscious effort to give it the best childhood ever with ao much love and totally different to the one you experienced.
This is what my Dad did. He didn't have a great childhood and promised himself he wouldn't let that happen with us!

The genetics guy called yesterday and we got our results back 3 genetically all great! So it's all systems go! He said we should feel lucky. We do! Now just waiting for period to come. In the mean time trying to fit in as many gym sessions as I can before transfer. It's my stress relief. My Dr did say it makes no difference but when you do get the positive test I'll need to back off as the main thing is over heating -and over flexing too much because your muscles are more limber. I'll ask her again at transfer but we've come so far every Google thing says just do light walking.
I'll try to fit in a few hot yoga classes as I know you can't do that at all. I think it's good for blood flow and circulation. Just the class is one and a half hours and a pain to get to. But I feel better as it relaxes me.

Hope everyone else is doing great on here!

 

[almosthere]

Miranda my transfer is extremely month is yours too? That will be exciting if we can be bump buddies! Great news about the genetic testing we never did that with our embies.

 

[miranda007]

Yeah I think we will be. I have no idea about what happens - just the nurse said take note when your period comes and call us.. Then I think they check your lining from day 10 or so. Don't know it involves injections - heck it probably does!
Well we decided to do the genetic testing - our Dr recommended it - even though it was another cost $750 an embryo so $6,000 in total. But we figured it costs more to do a FET - I forget where you live but out of pocket expenses here for us in Oz are $2,465 for a FET. Yikes I just looked that amount up!! It's annoying because if we did it last year we'd reached our Medicare safety net so it would have been $1,811 out of pocket expense. Oh well!
Yeah I'm excited! We'll be in the two week wait together - along with some others on here. Kat will be stimming soon too.

 

[Unlucky41]

Miranda so happy for you that is great news. I can't remember are you doing a natural FET?

My first blood test next Monday which is day 10 but I don't ovulate until at least day 16 hence I feel it is a bit of a waste of time!

Kat hope you at the house!

 

[KatO79]

Yes that test sounds right Kat I think it's the dye test. I had it in 2012 so feels like forever ago! I started spotting today all day I can't believe how regular my as have been after stopping bcps they were all over the place when ttc my first. I should be scheduling my cd3 tests in one or two days since af is right around the corner so stoked!

Ohh so exciting, FXed your results come back great

Hale I totally forgot about the breast feeding as a contraceptive but I have read about woman falling pregnant regardless...not through ivf but naturally so I can imagine it can work with ivf as well just at a lower chance. I never thought of this difficult challenge.

I've read about that to. I think breastfeeding acts a bit contraceptive because your body sees it as a baby not old enough and concentrates on nourishing it. So yeah, would also think it lessens your chances of conceiving.

Almosthere - we might be around the same time! I'm waiting for my period too. Bring it on!
Kat - I think your child will be so lucky - one of the many reasons being - because their whole lives you'll make a conscious effort to give it the best childhood ever with ao much love and totally different to the one you experienced.
This is what my Dad did. He didn't have a great childhood and promised himself he wouldn't let that happen with us!

The genetics guy called yesterday and we got our results back 3 genetically all great! So it's all systems go! He said we should feel lucky. We do! Now just waiting for period to come. In the mean time trying to fit in as many gym sessions as I can before transfer. It's my stress relief. My Dr did say it makes no difference but when you do get the positive test I'll need to back off as the main thing is over heating -and over flexing too much because your muscles are more limber. I'll ask her again at transfer but we've come so far every Google thing says just do light walking.
I'll try to fit in a few hot yoga classes as I know you can't do that at all. I think it's good for blood flow and circulation. Just the class is one and a half hours and a pain to get to. But I feel better as it relaxes me.

Hope everyone else is doing great on here!

Thanks miranda Yes I'm hoping to be the one to break this sick generational cycle since I seriously doubt my siblings will be any different with their own children than what they experienced from our mother (despite my one brother claiming otherwise since he's almost more toxic than our mother, at least towards me). I can already see signs from what my sister writes about her kids on FB that they'll end up with huge emotional issues later on, so sad Sometimes I do feel guilty that I'm going no contact because I feel like I'm abandoning my nieces and nephews, some of which may grow up the way I did (the ones that end up becoming narcissists themselves I can't help anyway). But I know I can't help them until I get away from the toxicity and heal as much as it's possible to after going through all that. Plus I don't have much contact with them anyway since I last saw my brother's daughter 1½ years ago (she's now 8) and I've only met my sister's daughter back in 2010 when DH and I last where in the US (she had her son about a couple of years later so never met him). There's also the danger that if I kept up contact that my siblings would either turn my child into the next scapegoat or even turn him/her against me - I've heard of that happening to other people that the narcissistic family members turned their kids against them.

So glad to hear your results came back so good Yeah I've also heard you need to be careful of overheating. Maybe ask her what types of exercise she deems ok?

 

[miranda007]

Unlucky 41 - I think they're doing natural. Haven't spoken to anyone in detail just call when you get your period etc and come in around day 10. My cycle is pretty regular - well it was before all the stims etc.

wow do you'll be doing a FET soon?! That's so exciting!
Kat - your family certainly is a by twisted. But you seem to manage everything and do what works best for u and your husband.

 

[KatO79]

Unlucky 41 - I think they're doing natural. Haven't spoken to anyone in detail just call when you get your period etc and come in around day 10. My cycle is pretty regular - well it was before all the stims etc.

wow do you'll be doing a FET soon?! That's so exciting!
Kat - your family certainly is a by twisted. But you seem to manage everything and do what works best for u and your husband.

Yep, your FET sounds like it'll be natural, otherwise I'd think they'd want you to come before that to start any hormones.

Yeah it's a very toxic family filled with narcissists and enablers - I'm the only one protesting the abuse since it's all being directed at me since I'm the scapegoat which has led them to be even more abusive. Now they'll have nothing to do with me, all because I asked to be treated with some decency and respect. DH didn't get it at first and tried to get me to try to be on good terms with my family but having seen my mother's abuse first hand and having read my brother's highly abusive emails (even one where my brother says that him having not met my DH before our wedding was because before our engagement, my DH meant nothing to him as before that he was only a boyfriend), he now gets it and is fully supportive of me going no contact on my siblings (as I can somewhat handle my mother now plus she's almost 80).

 

[KatO79]

The owner of the house came with a counter bid of about $259,000 so DH just accepted it so we now have a house DH can't decide if he should've come with another counter bid but it wasn't like it was a huge difference so he didn't and just said yes.

We have a house It's ours to move into from April 1st so plently of time to plan our move.