August loss thread - TTC our rainbows!

[bubbles82]

Vicky you've been in my thoughts all day, I just don't have the words for you right now as I know there is very little at the moment that will make you feel any better, it's just something you learn to deal with in time in your own way. At 23 you have so much time on your side to let yourself heal physically and emotionally until you're sure you're ready to go again. I'm 33 now and don't feel I have the luxury of time on my side anymore, but you definitely do. It's such bad luck to happen to anyone at all, but twice in a row is just rotten and no one deserves to go through that. I can't believe how upset I am for someone I've never met, but I think we all really feel for you and would do anything we could to fix things as we've been there and felt the hurt. Take care of yourself and just trust that one day it will feel easier to deal with, even if it seems impossible now.

I know where I live they don't see two early losses as a problem really, just one of those things that happens until you've had more than three, but may be worth pushing your GP for any possible tests in the future if that's something you'd want to do, just to rule out any possible issues. I've had blood work done before to check for any issues when my cycles went crazy, I had to really push for those and not sure it was worth it as they never really gave me any answers, but might do for others. I can second the thyroid thing, I've read a lot about how that can effect TTC from my years of trying to find answers for my loss the first time, thyroid problems do run in my family as it is, and I know as Aayla said, that what a GP would count as normal for thyroid levels could still be out of the acceptable range for TTC. There are so many little things that can affect it, and seems to be so hard to find someone who actually thinks it's important enough to look into it properly, as usual probably a funds thing and also because they can't go testing every person who has any TTC issue. I'm sure you're probably fine though and it has just been really rotten luck.

I also worry a lot about things like not being able to carry boys seeing as I've had two losses either side of my daughter, and the symptoms with both my losses were completely different from day 1.

 

[kakae]

God Vicky I'm so sorry. How heartbreaking for you. Take all the time you need, I know its hard and nothing is ever guaranteed but I believe you will get your rainbow. It will happen. Take care of yourself x

Congrats bubble!! I've become something of a poas expert haha that line wasn't even a squinter! Fingers and toes crossed this is your rainbow!

AFM I'm due to ovulate soon but I don't test so I kind of hope for the best. However our work schedules are crazy and we hardly see each other, let alone dtd so I'm not hopeful for this month. What I wouldn't give to be pregnant again though, I'm desperate for another baby!

 

[Mrsmac02]

Vicky, you're definitely young and have time on your side! I think like Amytrisha says, maybe just spend a few months getting back into the swing of things might help.

Why not focus on eating well, reducing stress levels, doing things that make you really really happy - book a weekend away, go for drinks with your mates etc - and take your vitamins and then think about it again if you feel emotionally ready?

What bc will you be using? I know I personally have decided on nothing hormone based as I don't want t to mess around with my cycles before I start trying again (I've had such probs getting back into a normal cycle before).

Haven't thought about actual be but condoms freak me out a bit! I was just thinking of making sure we don't BD at the fertile time. Let's see how far we get with that!

We are going to actively try again in Nov/Dec time maybe, provided my cycles are back to normal. I just know that when my cycles are long or irregular, I don't get much EWCM and I'm a moody/emotional b1tch, that my hormones are out of whack and I'm pretty sure that's why I had the most recent mc!

So, a few months of good steady cycles and we'll try again! Xx

 

[Mrsmac02]

Ps am I right in thinking you're in Scotland? I'm in Glasgow and was at the southern General EPU. The midwife there told me that if you've had 2 mcs, hospitals in the GGC health board area will see you early and more often in subsequent pregnancies. So I guess at least if you do decide to TTC again sometime, you know you can get peace of mind earlier on xxx

 

[joo]

Bubbles, i see the line on frer! Fingers crossed for you! Have you tested again this morning? Xx

Vicky, I'm praying for you, so sorry you're going through this


AF was due Tuesday, I wasn't going to test until Sunday, but bought some tests yesterday. Caved and tested this morning but BFN. Oh well, I knew it was a slim chance as we only BD 'd twice over fertile time Xx

 

[LoraLoo]

Tuesday just gone or Tuesday coming Joo?

Not much to report from me. Just waiting on doing the school run- were all actually up, dressed, house reasonable tidy and with time to kill! This rarely happens lol.
Opks negative this morn, as always will test later on but no signs- no ewcm or anything. I'm on cd 17.

 

[joo]

Tuesday just gone i didn't get any signs this month either. Love those days Lora, enjoy! X

 

[LoraLoo]

Fingers crossed either bfp or Af shows soon joo!

How are you feeling today Vicky?

Have you caved and done another frer yet bubbles?!

Any news from stone else? Seems to have gone a bit quiet! Xx

 

[Sweety21]

Vicky, so sorry. I agree with other ladies that you should try and give time to your body to heal. Also, most importantly give time to yourself too to prepare for baby.

Bubbles, thank you so much for advice. I will be starting in 2-3days to test. Hopefully, I will catch that eggy. I have to go to doc too one last time before he giveuss green light.

Aayla, thanks for input. I am not planning to spend a fortune too. Infact here the hpt itself is so damn expensive I cannot think of spending on opk's. That is why ordered online from different country.

Afm, cd 8here. hubby is gone again on trip but, enjoying my time with dd. Planning her Birthday party is most exciting thing for now.

Lora, when is Alice's bday? I know she is November sparkler but, forgot the date.

 

[bubbles82]

Ha ha Lora no more FRERs yet, I only have 3 left now and don't want to be wasting them all before AF is even due as I'm determined not to spend silly money on tests this time! I could put the money towards an early scan instead seeing as I'm unlikely to get one at EPU unless I have obvious problems again. Mind you I had to have one with DD at 9 weeks as she was straight after a loss so they couldn't date he pregnancy accurately. I knew my exact dates from charting but they don't seem to see much value in it whenever I've mentioned it to docs or midwives etc, they look at me like I'm mad so I just go along with it and took the early scan as it was much appreciated anyway. I used anther IC which is now showing an obvious faint line, so that will do for me for now, only uploaded it onto my journal this time as don't want to spam this thread with endless photos of my squinters, and feels a bit disrespectful going on about a BFP with Vicky's news.

Hang in there with the OPKs, I didn't get any fertile signs until CD20, maybe even later as I'm not sure on the date I should've started the new cycle. Maybe you're cycle is a bit delayed due to the extra bleeding, so maybe not as far on as you thought?

Feeling a bit sad today, just trying to take things one day at a time and not even think about an actual baby on the way, as it's too hard to think too far ahead. Wasn't even going to mention it to DH yet but he asked me last night how my temperature is and if I've done any tests, so I told him. It wasn't how it should be though, I could tell he was worried, and we quickly just changed the subject and didn't really talk about it, as if it wasn't really a BFP. It's so strange as we both wanted it, but now it's really happened it's as if we were both secretly hoping it might not actually happen just yet as we're still recovering from last time.

 

[LoraLoo]

Vicky, so sorry. I agree with other ladies that you should try and give time to your body to heal. Also, most importantly give time to yourself too to prepare for baby.

Bubbles, thank you so much for advice. I will be starting in 2-3days to test. Hopefully, I will catch that eggy. I have to go to doc too one last time before he giveuss green light.

Aayla, thanks for input. I am not planning to spend a fortune too. Infact here the hpt itself is so damn expensive I cannot think of spending on opk's. That is why ordered online from different country.

Afm, cd 8here. hubby is gone again on trip but, enjoying my time with dd. Planning her Birthday party is most exciting thing for now.

Lora, when is Alice's bday? I know she is November sparkler but, forgot the date.

It's the 6th nov! 😊 same as Williams! Xx

 

[LoraLoo]

I think tat reactions quite normal bubbles- both me and hubby both felt quite subdued with the news after losing Eve and Alfie. We were happy but all to aware of what can happen- it makes you very cautious doesn't it.

Yeah, I'm thinking with te extra bleeding that I may be less than cd 17. I think te least I would be if bleecing started at 14 days after ovulation, is cd 11.
I coud be anywhere between 11 and 17 if that makes sense. Hopefully go positive soon, I haye waiting. Waiting Makes me stressed lol

 

[Kandl123]

Vicky, I am so so so sorry for what you are going through. My heart breaks for you. But I agree with the other ladies, give your body time to rest physically and emotionally then try again.
I know this is a stupid question, but how are you today? So many hugs for you xxx

 

[Kandl123]

Afm, currently sat on the doctors waiting for my smear 😩. We've been bd/ing everyday since Sunday & plan to do it everyday until Sunday in hope something happens!!! I'm due to ovulate tomorrow/Saturday so fingers crossed!!

 

[Vicky_92]

Hello everyone. I'm not okay but I will be eventually my hearts completely broke. I'll be on soon, can't right now I'm just all over the place, don't know how to cope. Thank you for all the warm wishes. Xx

 

[bubbles82]

I think tat reactions quite normal bubbles- both me and hubby both felt quite subdued with the news after losing Eve and Alfie. We were happy but all to aware of what can happen- it makes you very cautious doesn't it.

Makes me sad that if things work out this time, this would likely be my last pregnancy, and I feel as though I can't enjoy a single second of it. Although this site has given me lots of much needed support for the last few years through my last pregnancy and both losses, I think it has also made me far more aware of the various things that can go wrong, and how common it can be, which is on my mind constantly. I wish so much I could be one of the lucky ones who could relax and be excited from day 1 with those two lines, or at least from the first scan, but I know it's never going to be that way for me. I think at least DH will be ok with things after the 12 week scan, I don't talk to him about things I read on here so he's blissfully unaware and thinks everyone is fine once they've had a successful 12 week scan.

Good effort Kandl, don't think I could go that long, but hope you catch that egg!

Fingers crossed for you joo and Sweety x

 

[Aayla]

Hello Ladies.

bubbles: I totally get being cautious. Hubby has said that we aren't telling anyone until after our first scan. I'm not sure how I can keep that secret but I don't even want to tell my family. All they know right now is I am waiting on af to come. I am hoping if I can keep my mouth shut they won't ask questions.

vicky: not sure when you will read this but take all the time you need. we'll be here when you feel ready to come back.

AFM: not much new going on. biopsy didn't jump start af. I am feeling bloaty today but no other signs she is coming. normally I got spotting a day or two before. It could be awhile. I don't want to take provera but I don't know how long to wait for. Doc said 4-6 weeks but my god that is a long time. My temps are slowly descending. So it looks like she is on her way. If I changed my cd day 1 to when heavy bleeding started on not the first day of bleeding then I have another week to go.

 

[bubbles82]

Aayla - your chart looks good for AF being on her way soon, hope that's the case, it is awful waiting around, every day in TTC world seems to feel like a month!

If it was up to me we probably wouldn't tell anyone I was pregnant until the baby was born! If things go ok this time we're planning a Christmas Day announcement for DH's side of the family as we're spending the day with them, and I'll be nearly 15 weeks by then which suits me better than rushing to tell everyone as soon as the scan is done which is what DH would do if it wasn't so close to Christmas. I'm not sure how we'll keep it secret for long from some others though, not now the people who know I had a loss now know we're trying, like my mum and my two close pregnant friends. I remember when I had my first loss there was someone who kept going on and on asking when we would be TTC, and I ended up telling her I'd recently had a loss as I thought she might then realise it was inappropriate to ask something like that and keep off my back about it for a while, but she ended up just asking more as if I'd confirmed that we were trying so she asked me constantly 'are you pregnant again yet?' not even knowing if we were still trying after what happened. People can be so rude!

 

[Aayla]

Thanks for the positive outlook based on my chart. And you are right, every day does feel like a month. I feel like I have been at this for years but I have only really been active for 4 months.

If we got pregnant this next cycle I would be 10-11 weeks at Christmas (depending on when day 1 ended up being). I got a very lack luster reception to my first announcement. I would love to be able to keep my mouth shut long enough to do something big and have them not see it coming.

Some people are very rude. You should have seen my mom's reaction when I mentioned we may put it off until the new year. just wow.

 

[Aayla]

Hello...my name is Aayla...and I am a poas addict...

I bought a 2 pack of frers today. I don't know why. I was in the drug store getting something else and I just couldn't help but go down the family planning section.

I am curious to see if it will be negative. Oct 2 was a squinter but I have done this so much I could see it no prob. The moment a frer goes negative I just know af will be here. And isn't it always the way that you poas and it's negative and bam, next day af comes even if you are late. it's like buying them is a trigger. Yeah...that's it...a trigger. That's what I'll say...oh man...hubby is going to kill me