August loss thread - TTC our rainbows!

[Mrsmac02]

Gosh, that maybe would make a lot of sense Lora!

Tbh, the mc midwife I saw today was a bit of a tit so it's entirely possible she got it wrong! She seemed to suggest that that's why they make the appointment 8w after mc, so they know you've not been pregnant for two months. Like I say, she was a bit scatty so could very well have given me duff info.

Sounds like it's treatable if it is sticky blood though from what she was saying.

Hopefully you'll get some answers! What time is your appointment tomorrow? X

 

[LoraLoo]

I couldn't find much when I googled about the test needing to be 8 weeks afterwards- but it did say you have to have 2 tests so many weeks apart- so I suspect she's right about the 8 week thing too!

It's 11.30am. I have nobody to pick William up from nursery so will have to take him out early, go pick aaron up from work, then bribe the kids with chocolate and sweets to be quiet whilst the consultant is talking!

 

[Mrsmac02]

It's like herding cats! Will they be entertained with books or games on phone for 10 mins? Hope it goes ok and you get some answers x

 

[LoraLoo]

I'll take a bag full of toys! For some reason the drs seems to send William extra hyper 😕 last time I went he was swinging off the bed like a monkey lol! Thank you. I will update when I get back tomorrow x

 

[Sweety21]

Thank you Mrsmac for the info. I didn't even hear it's name before.

Lora, good luck with appointment and keeping kids entertained.

Aayla Congratulations on the new job. Just got timr to read everyone's post.

Afm, I had lots of cm yesterday and Temperature rise is today but, since yesterday's temps were unreliable I　wonder if the rise was yesterday. Anyways, I think I am officially in tww now. But, I am not very confident about getting pregnant this cycle don't know why.

 

[Aayla]

Today was a crap day for me. I realized I would have been 11 weeks. What's also hard is I know there is a thread on here based off one I started for may babies. so many women due around the same time. I tried once to read it but it was too hard. I don't think I will ever be at that point.

I feel so all alone to be honest. I put on the brave face. even my best friend noticed that. but I think I may have more bad days than good, that I am even fooling myself. I waited so long to see those 2 lines.

God I hope this all just pms making my emotions worse than they are.

 

[LoraLoo]

I'm sorry aayla. I'm not sure if that part does get easier. It's just a reminder of what we have lost isn't it? It's not great to be reminded where we should be. Huge hugs.

So I haven't slept a wink thinking about the results. My councillor lady is coming shortly and then I will have to pick william and aaron (hubby) up so least I won't have too much time to sit Nd think.
Lost track of cd, 20-27 I think. Negative Opk but quite a lot of cm and it's quite thin and watery so hopefully heading in the right direction!

Joo, hope you're ok and the news has started to sink in!

Vicky you've been c quiet, I understand why, but hope you are ok as can be too.

How is everyone else?

 

[bubbles82]

Big hugs Aayla, sorry you're having a tough day.

Thinking of you this morning Lora x

 

[LoraLoo]

Copied from my journal as its easier!

So, baby looked fine, she measured 15 weeks so no issues with growth, no infection. Only thing he said was the placenta had partly detatched- I wonder if that was what caused the pain? He couldn't say why- he said it isually happens in smokers or drug abusers but I'm neither of those. He couldn't say for definite whether it caused her death.
He also said all organs were fine, however one of the ventricles (?) in her brain was very mildly enlarged- but again coukdnt say why, whether it soukdn have been an issue had i gone full term, or whether it happened before or after she died, just said it wasn't likely to have contributed.

He said it's not likely to happen again ive just been unlucky.

He said nrxt time to book in with my gp early on. Asprin from 6 weeks, higher dose folic acid. That they'll be more vigilant. I will be given more scans especially between 12 and 20 weeks. Other than that just to maintain a healthy lifestyle.

Not sure how I feel. Relieved it was nothing I did or didn't do. Glad to have an answer even though it's not definite. Million more 'whys' than what I had this morning. Happy that I'll be kept a closer eye on next time. Whole mix of things- but definitely like a massive weights been lifted.

 

[bubbles82]

Glad it has made you feel slightly better in some ways. I think these things are always best done with than waiting ahead of us, the waiting and not knowing is the worst. Great news they're going to take extra care of your next rainbow too x

 

[LoraLoo]

I was a wreck this morning. Thought I was going to throw up when we got to the hospital. Just the smell brings back memories Id rather forget. But yeah I'm glad it's done with. When he was talking about 'next time' I felt nervous and excited. Next time 😊 Theres going to be a next time!

 

[Mrsmac02]

Glad you got some answers Lora, my heart goes out to you - no one should have to go through all of that. I hope now you can start to move on and look forward to the future. X

 

[Sweety21]

Aayla, so sorry hun you are feeling this way. But, it's really hard not to think of what happened. I get the mails from bump every week telling what to expect this week. I haven't unsubscribed yet just a little reminder of what was gonna come but, couldn't.

Lora, hugs! Glad you have some answers. The why's will always be there but, atleast some relief for you knowing you will be given extra care next time.

 

[LoraLoo]

Thanks ladies. I've just had tons of ewcm! My opks still Meg but hoping for a positive in the next couple of days! Going to get some bd in tonight! Cx

 

[c beary83]

Hey ladies. Sorry I've been MIA - been really busy back at work.

Glad you got your answers Lora loo.

I feel like af is on her way so hopefully I'm back in the game

I don't think I ovulated as I got negative opks each day from the end of bleeding

 

[bubbles82]

Yay Lora! Good timing for the start of your new rainbow being on its way after the morning you've had! Time to BD!

It's quite sad that seeing EWCM has become one of the highlights of my life, when I never even noticed it before TTC.

 

[LoraLoo]

I know I was so excited- there was literally loads! But since ive been lo since- nothing much? It's a while since I did this Ttc lark- is that normal? It's still watery so think it's all good, just surprised there's not been much since when there was so much earlier?

 

[Mrsmac02]

Nice to hear from you beary, glad you're back in the game! I don't think I ovulated last cycle either and doesn't look like I will this cycle either - went from very faint 2nd line to stark stark white on OPKs I'm on cd11 so still early days I suppose but not feeling very positive!

Feeling utterly crappy tonight. Thought I'd done my crying but Facebook is flooded with wave of light posts and hashtags for miscarriage and infant loss awareness day and I'm am sat next to Ben's bed utterly crying my eyes out - bloody hormones!! X

 

[LoraLoo]

Aww mrsmac 😔 I have my candles lit too. It's the first year ive not been on fb for it. I'm part of quite a big sands community and we do it every year so feels strange not sharing my photos, though I've put them in my journal.

It's natural to get upset and cry, it's an important part of grief I think, does no good to lock it inside, huge hugs, also to anyone else that needs them. It's good to talk about how we feel I think? Xx

 

[LoraLoo]

Also Mrs Mac- ive had loads of ewcm this aft n my opks were as stark white as you can get, so don't be disheartened x