August loss thread - TTC our rainbows!

[LoraLoo]

Yeah that's helpful thank you. I will start checking it throughout cycle so I get a better idea- just makes me cringe a bit doing it!

So my first positive opk was Sunday lunch time.

Bd fri morn, Sunday night, Monday morn and Monday night 😂 poor Aaron's knackered ha!

Pretty sure I've ovulated tonight as the pains totally eased off. Probably means tonight's bd was useless but least I'm covered. Shame we missed Saturday but think we've done ok.

Now for the tww! Hopeful if it's not our month- Af will start when she should this time!

Should be a pretty quick tww- I have stuff planned this week and friends coming to stay at the weekend- that'll be a week gone already by then!

 

[Aayla]

Ah sorry Mrsmac. It's awful how long the sadness goes on for and how it stays with you, and then hits you suddenly when you get unexpected news like that. Even though I'm expecting again myself I'm still finding all the new announcements etc really difficult, I know I'm still recovering from the loss and not really accepting the new pregnancy yet, and I know my scan should've been this week so finding it particularly hard that any announcements around now are when mine should've been, and my friend who found out just after me will be going for her scan soon. Still so sad we're not sharing the whole experience like we should've been, even though if things go ok this time I'll only be around 5 weeks behind her.

Not really any sickness here yet Lora, although it's slightly worrying in a way, it actually suits me as I had absolutely no sickness whatsoever with DD, and I've had bad sickness from the beginning with both losses, so it would only make me convinced things were going badly whereas it's a good sign things are going well for others. I had a severe headache each time too the day before the bleeding started, so I think it was all part of the hormone crash. I've had odd patches of very slight nausea but even that has gone now, unless I've not eaten for a while, or very first thing on a morning, but soon goes.

Aayla, I don't want to put a downer on things but I don't think your chart looks like you've ovulated yet, did you have any other symptoms around then, or do you know why FF had given you the dotted crosshairs when it has? Fingers crossed for you it's right though X

No downer at all. I like truthful opinions. I don't think I ovulated either to be honest. i think FF is just off. I have had no symptoms. for the last day or two I have had twingy cramps on my left side. it was a bit harsh last night while working. But other than that i have felt nothing.

Sometimes FF takes some time to give cross hairs but not 6 days. I missed "4dpo" for temping. And it only gave me the cross hairs when I put in my watery cm. If I take that out it takes away the cross hairs.

i wish I didn't get the cross hairs to be honest. I just want to go on my provera and induce a cycle already.

 

[Sweety21]

Mrsmac, definitely don't loose hope. My doctor told me that the cycles might be off for 2-3months. So, anything can happen.

Lora, looks like you have covered your bases. Welcome to tww!

Aayla, hang in there. hugs.

I have had no symptoms whatsoever, just a dip at 5-6dpo which is estrogen surge I am guessing and Temperatures are going higher. Just wish 24th should hurry up already. Waiting sucks. Good thing my dd is keeping me busy. Here is how my chart looks like if anyone have any opinions.

 

[bubbles82]

Aayla, sorry FF is being confusing, does seem strange it decided to put crosshairs so many DPO later.

Lora - your timing sounds fabulous, welcome to the TWW! Hopefully will go quick for you if you're busy. I would say it could be nearer a 1 week wait if you could maybe get a squinter at 9dpo, but I'm not encouraging early testing if you're planning to wait it out. Will keep everything crossed for you.

Sweety - your chart is looking great, I don't have any useful opinions really other than that, as I always think charts look pretty similar for pregnant and non pregnant cycles, thy definitely do with me anyway and look the same until AF actually arrives and temp drops that day, so I wouldn't know before BFP just from my chart. Everything crossed for you too though!

 

[Aayla]

So I did an adjustment to the open circle temps. Most of the time I do the adjustment if I am off. I didn't with these few as they were only 30-60 min off but decided to see what FF did with the adjustment. As you can see there is no clear jump and no more cross hairs. Today's temp is at the threshold as the calculator I use only adjusts up to a 5 hour difference.

I think I can safely assume I didn't ovulate. When I ovulated there was a clear temp shift and a clear second shift when pregnant.

 

[bubbles82]

Are you rethinking inducing AF then Aayla or still waiting just in case?

I'm absolutely shattered this morning, been wide awake since 3am thanks to the crazy dreams that seem to be the norm now, and DD kept having random cries for a few seconds then going back to sleep. Had to get up with her at 7am as DH is working nights tonight and made it clear yesterday he expected a big lie in this morning, plus he never believes me when I say I've been awake for hours, he just thinks I make it up or exaggerate! I've got a friend coming round for tea and a catch up tonight as DH is at work, and we've got a workman in today wallpapering our bedroom so probably zero chance to head back to bed.

At least I'm not working today, I was meant to be on quite a physical training day which they don't let you on if pregnant. I didn't want to let anyone at work know this early, and to get out of it for pregnancy reasons there's a long list of people I'd have to inform, all of which are currently involved in the ongoing saga from when I was sent a congratulations email during my mc. So it's a bit awkward, but obviously not worth the risk at all, so I text my boss last night for advice, and she has ended up putting me on restricted at work from now on, which isn't ideal. She said she will keep things quiet as she understands why I want to, but it's pretty impossible where I work, I'm a crap liar, and everyone assumes any female who is suddenly on restricted is pregnant unless there's an obvious injury or something. It's going to be a looong 7 weeks until scan time!

Don't mean to sound like I'm moaning to you ladies, obviously I'm so grateful to be pregnant, just so paranoid it's not going to last, and I really wanted to just keep it to myself for as long as possible. I feel like there's so much extra pressure from just that one person knowing, as I know she'll have to tell some others, and it will probably be all round work before I'm even back in myself, it's such a gossipy place and I'm such a private person really. None of my friends even know yet this time, my close friend who's due the same time I was who we had to cancel our trip with, we haven't seen them since the beginning of September just before my mc started. We saw them a couple of days ago as there was an animal show on so we all met up there with the kids. I was dreading it as I thought it might be awkward, and was convinced she would ask when we're TTC again. We'd decided if she asked we'd tell her we're cautiously expecting again, but if she didn't ask we wouldn't mention it. Surprisingly she never mentioned anything at all to do with the mc or her pregnancy, so we didn't say anything, but she works with me and will be going restricted soon when she's had her scan, so I'll probably bump into her a lot more at work and it will probably be really obvious to her why I'm there too.

Anyway that was a far longer rant than I was intending!

Hope you all have a lovely day ladies, wishing you all lots of luck and babydust xx

 

[Aayla]

I am thinking of inducing but so scared to. But I know that cd 1 would be just around the corner if I start them tomorrow. I am holding my pee right now and plan on testing in a few hours (if I can hold that long). I know I would only be 9dpo according to the previous cross hairs but I am now cd37 from when everything passed. I think if the frer I have is stark white I can safely assume I am not pregnant.

I totally understand you wanting to stay hush hush. I've been quite secret about what is going on right now and I have not talked about anything on fb since I announced my mc. I usually will just do a vague "I'm sad" sort of post if I am having a bad day. Which is so different from how I normally am.

 

[LoraLoo]

So difficult but you didn't have any choice but to tell your boss, you did the right thing. Hopefully it'll be kept under wraps as much as possible. Even if people suspect, people probably won't come out and ask- Id like to think not anyways! Hope you get a better nights sleep tonight- pregnsncy dreams are so vivid and bizarre!

Sweety I'm no expert but I'd say your chart looks great!

Aayla, sorry gd took away your crosshairs. What are your thoughts now with the provera?

Afm- ive never waited the tww out and probsbly will cave! I'm just not feeling it. I knew I was pregnant last time even though it wasn't planned. Just don't have that feeling this month, but, who knows! 9dpo would make next Wednesday testing day! Xx

 

[Sweety21]

Bubbles, I think you are right. I have had many cycles where message of triphasic appeared but, nothing in real. And the one cycle I had my temperatures was the month I got bfp. I am not gonna read into it yet.
About not telling to work I totally understand. Let them think what they want to, if you are uncomfortable sharing the news yet let it be. Boss knows that's what matter at the moment.

Aayla, so sorry about confusing ff and charts. I think you should probably decide what you think is right for you know. If you feel like starting provera go for it if you have fears of being pregnant then wait it out. I know easier said than done but, good luck for testing sweets.

Lora, I can totally relate to the just knewpregnant thing. Many say woman's just say that but, it's true for many of us. I knew at 6-7dpo that I am pregnant both times but, this month even I am doubtful that, I am pregnant. I won't worry if it doesn't happen. When time is right it will come to me.

Fingers crossed for all of us.

 

[Aayla]

Ok ladies. I held it for 4 hours and tested. I am going bananas. I think it is negative but I could swear that I see a shadow sometimes. I have no idea if it could be seen in a pic but I took some anyway. I have never had an issue with frer and it is the old test.

No biggie if you don't see anything. Honest opinions are wanted. Pics are taken near the 8 min mark.

 

[LoraLoo]

I can't see anything on the first pic, I'm not sure about second. Something seems to be catching my eye but when I zoom in I don't see a line xx

 

[joo]

I don't see anything this time Aayla, but they don't usually show on my phone anyway. Could you test again tomorrow with FMU?

Mrsmac, are you feeling better today? I do not know about opk but you could just be using them at the wrong time of day and just missed it? Always best to keep BD ing anyway?

Lora, i hope the tww goes quickly! Same to you Sweet ( sorry i have no clue at charting!)

Bubbles, do you have any symptoms? I had slight nausea and very tired on Saturday, but nothing since then and get twinges in my lower tummy.

I have constant-knicker-checking syndrome

 

[LoraLoo]

Sorry to hear about the twinges joo- think it can be normal this early though? I remember having them too. Know how worrying it is though x

 

[joo]

I was never like this with DD. I have had to tell her today i can't carry her any more, she's getting too heavy. I was carry her a yesterday and got a sharp shooting pain up my tummy, which is what happened last time before my spotting started. I just want to give myself a big shake and say get buck up and stop being an idiot, but the worry never stops!

 

[Sweety21]

Aayla, I think I see something when I squint but, with normal vision i can't. Please try and wait a day or two to see if you get clear bfp?

Joo, hope you feel better hun. Even though I am not pregnant but, i still can't carry my dd anymore she is becoming heavy. And specifically during pregnancy we become more careful. It is ok to carry though but, body just can't. And constant worry about something might go wrong never leaves　us.

 

[Aayla]

Couldn't test with fmu today as I had no more tests. I am going to wait a bit before testing again. I put the temps back that I had changed. Got the dotted ch again. So it says I am only 9dpo. I got a shadow line at 10dpo last time but nothing really good to see until 13dpo but 14 dpo was better. So I am going to wait it out.

 

[bubbles82]

Joo I don't really have any symptoms, other than huge painful boobs, and I get very lightheaded every time I stand up at the moment. I've had occasional very slight nausea but nothing I would've noticed if I wasn't looking for it. I'm constantly worrying too, I've been making a conscious effort to carry my DD less to, I made her walk up and down the stairs today where I would normally carry her down on a morning and up to bed, I feel awful but she's quite capable of doing it. She has accidentally kicked out at my stomach a couple of times which worries me too, well everything worries me! And the knicker checking is driving me mad x

 

[bubbles82]

So difficult but you didn't have any choice but to tell your boss, you did the right thing. Hopefully it'll be kept under wraps as much as possible. Even if people suspect, people probably won't come out and ask- Id like to think not anyways! Hope you get a better nights sleep tonight- pregnsncy dreams are so vivid and bizarre!

Sweety I'm no expert but I'd say your chart looks great!

Aayla, sorry gd took away your crosshairs. What are your thoughts now with the provera?

Afm- ive never waited the tww out and probsbly will cave! I'm just not feeling it. I knew I was pregnant last time even though it wasn't planned. Just don't have that feeling this month, but, who knows! 9dpo would make next Wednesday testing day! Xx

I know it was the right thing to do, to avoid the training today and my usual job in general, it just isn't worth the risk, although I probably would've kept things quiet from my boss a while longer if it wasn't for the training day being today. It's going to make things financially difficult, as the changes I'll have to make to my shifts will mean I get paid a bit less and probably need to pay out more for childcare, as I'll have to work more day shifts when DH is also at work, rather than mostly working the hours he's home with DD. I know it's for the best really, it just feels so stressful the thought of having so many people question what I'm doing and why. It would be nice to think no one will ask but they seriously will where I work! Most people will work out what's going on without even needing to ask, and I just worry the news will slip out at some point and spoil what will hopefully be a Christmas Day surprise for our family.

 

[LoraLoo]

I always thought they weren't allowed to pay you less if a risk assessment deemed it unsafe to do certain duties in pregnancy? May have got that wrong though- just seem to recall it from when I was having trouble at work in one of my pregnancies xx

 

[bubbles82]

It's not so much the duties but the actual shifts I'll be working in the new department will be different and I'll be in over more days, and possibly lose some of my unsocial hours allowance as I won't be working those hours. I can't really afford to pay for any more days for DD at nursery, she only has to go one day a week at the moment, and with how much that already costs us on top of the wage cut I took to go back part time after maternity leave last time, I'm already about £800 worse off each month, so can't afford for that to be even more!