August loss thread - TTC our rainbows!

[Aayla]

Sorry to hear af got you c beary. Fx for this cycle!

 

[Kandl123]

I'm so so so sorry for your loss bubbles 😞. Thinking of you, & I hope you manage to get through to EPU tomorrow. Can't believe they haven't been in touch or even answered phone to you X

 

[Sweety21]

Bubbles, I wish people will stop being such a** sometimes but, no matter what we do there always will be such people around us who don't understand our feelings.
I really want to help you any way I can but, from this part of world all I can do is support and listen whenever you want to say anything.

Ladies, I will be adding you all. Please feel free to add me. My name is " Nita Donde Nandrajog" on facebook.

Aayla and Bubbles i added you both. Bubbles, your profile pic is with your dd right? mine is with my dd.

 

[Aayla]

So I am pretty sure I am ovulating today. I have had so many sharp twinges in my ovary area today. We dtd this morning so I know we got in enough over the last week. Hopefully I get my temp spike tomorrow.

 

[kakae]

Hey ladies, I have added or requested everyone on here on fb, I think it would be great to do a secret group for us all (trying/pregnant/everyone invited) as I'm on fb far more than I should be lol

So sorry to hear bubbles xx

 

[kakae]

Oh and AFM my AF is due tomorrow and I already have brown spotting and cramps...lovely

 

[kakae]

Hey ladies, hope its OK I have created a group for us on fb. I'm Katie Calcroft, pm me or add me and I can add you to the group

 

[Sweety21]

I am already nervous since, testing time is coming closer. Mightier be still early if I test but, if what I had was ib than 48hours later should show something?
I don't feel positive all of sudden , for some reason I started believing it was because of medicine that spotting was there. God this sucks.

 

[LoraLoo]

How many dpo are you now Sweety? Good luck if you decide to test soon!

Beary sorry Af got you. Kakae hopefully AF stays away and that the spotting is Ib.

Bubbles- seen your journal and glad you got hold of someone. Sorry they cocked up the referal and that its been so hard to get anything sorted. I hope its all over quickly for you (obviously wish it wasn't happening at all) and that physically it isn't too painful.

Afm cd 16 negative opk. Looks like the soya hasn't worked for me. Xx

 

[bubbles82]

Thanks for the group kakae, it's good to put faces to names and it's so much easier to use Facebook than BnB sometimes.

Sorry you're feeling anxious about testing Sweety, I've still got fingers crossed for you.

I'm not so good today, finally got through to EPU and they'd not had any referral for me so wouldn't see me. So I've been chasing up the scan place to sort it out again, they said they left it on the voicemail which obviously had a message on it saying it wasn't working, so I really don't get why they thought it was ok to do that. But they've sorted it finally and EPU phoned back, and I'm booked to go in tomorrow at 10.30. They've said I can't go on my own, so DH is having to sort out time off work and my mum is coming over to stay with DD. It really bothers me all the knock on effects it has like this, and now I'll have to contact work and explain to them what is happening again when I really don't want it to be any of their business. No idea when I'll be back in yet, but I'll be going back to my normal department as I won't be pregnant anymore, so I will have all the awkwardness and questions from that too.

I was a bit worried about how I hadn't really got that upset this time even though I was kind of expecting this, especially after the first scan, so it wasn't like a massive shock. But I think it just doesn't feel like a loss yet as I haven't had the bleeding yet. But I've cried a lot today, maybe knowing where I'm going tomorrow is making it sink in a bit more.

I wanted to try again straight away last time, but now I feel like I don't want to try again at all. People keep telling me I'm young, but I really don't feel like I have time to waste, I'm nearly 34 now, and it's only going to increase the chance of problems the longer I wait. I really want someone to at least do a few blood tests to rule out any obvious issues, but they just seem keen to still put it down to just bad luck. Not sure what I've done to deserve this much bad luck, but really can't imagine ever bringing another rainbow home.

 

[LoraLoo]

The day we had the scan with eden, I told myself I didn't want to try again, but within days Id changed my mind. Give yourself time to recover physically and emotionally-,your thoughts and emotions will be all over right now.

I would defibiteky be asking for some sort of testing even if it's bloods to check your clotting etc. It's not much to ask is it? I hate it when they make you feel like an nhs number and not a person.

Will you be staying in hospital or are they sending you home? Xx

 

[bubbles82]

I don't know, I have no idea what to expect really. They said on the phone people can go home if they fit certain criteria, but I have no idea what that is?

I feel horrible as I know there's no getting over this, just learning to deal with it eventually, yet everyone seems to think you're over it at some point, especially if you get pregnant again, but each loss never leaves you.

I'm worried that I will probably want to try again as soon as I know I'm near ovulation again. The doctor at this scan actually said it probably happened this time because I tried too soon after the last loss. I don't think this is very fair, as I had DD straight after my first loss without waiting, and I've had two losses that weren't straight after pregnancies/losses so how can she say that?

 

[LoraLoo]

I think she was wrong to say that- pretty sure if it was because of the August loss, the baby woukdnt have implanted and you would have miscarried rather than it being a mmc. I also think if your bodies ovulating then it's obviously ready to be pregnant again. I think it's just a cop out really.

My friend experienced a mmc this time last year and they gave her the pessaries and she was allowed to come home. Similar gestation to yourself. Not sure what the 'criteria' is. They never explain anything very well xx

 

[bubbles82]

They should explain it before you go in really, it's not ideal turning up to hospital not knowing how long you're expected to stay for, especially when they know I've got DD at home, and DH is meant to be at work. Maybe a stupid question but do you use the pessaries yourself or do they have to do it for you?

I'm really torn about if it's best to wait or try again straight away if we decide to, the only pregnancy that has worked out for me was straight after a loss so I can't buy this idea of having to wait being better. I think I could physically do with a break now anyway though, I just hate all the waiting as my cycles can be so long at the best of times. I know I'm probably best giving my body at least one cycle of not being pregnant now, I've pretty much spent the last 4 months with all the rubbish symptoms side of it for nothing. I know money shouldn't be an issue but it's bothering me how much I've spent on tests, scans, and now all the things for our announcement, all for nothing. Although I am glad I had the scans as I've found out earlier that things weren't going well, I'm just annoyed that I shouldn't have had to pay for those at all, especially when the first one showed an obvious problem.

 

[LoraLoo]

The nurse inserted the pessaries with me, I also had the oral tablets a few hours later - my friend was only given the pessaries though do im not actually sure what the oral tablets are for.

With me it took 8 hours both times although both times I had a retained placenta so that part took a while longer.

Only you can decide what's right. I know for me taking a break woukd stress me out even more, but then I i fell pregnant again and mc Id always be wondering if I should have taken a break, so it's catch 22 really.

You'll have a few weeks at least to think it through and see how you feel though. Does hubby want to Ttc again straight away? Xx

 

[bubbles82]

DH has said to take a break just to give my body time to recover, but I don't think he really understands how long a proper break for a full normal cycle would be. We could easily be looking at 3 months from now if I have to wait for one normal cycle after however long this stage is going to take. I think my DH's idea of a break would probably be until the bleeding has stopped from this loss and I next ovulate after that, which isn't a break at all.

I've been reading various stories online trying to get an idea of what to expect tomorrow, it seems like so many people have to actually stay in hospital and have nurses check through everything you're passing, I had no idea they did this and it all sounds so humiliating, I thought they'd just give me some tablets to take orally and let it all happen at home.

 

[LoraLoo]

It is humiliating. I had to have a speculum straight after the scan and swabs taken, then bloods, then admitted n taken into a room for the pessaries. Afterwards, when the placenta was stuck, I then had to have another exam from a male Dr, with another male Dr in the room and a nurse and hubby. All dignity was gone at that point and I was so upset after already being poked and prodded all day. He was really hurting me and taking ages and I ended up snapping at his to take the bloody speculum thing out right now 😳 which isn't like me, but id had enough. More bloods followed that, a canula and more bloods the next morning 😐

I'm not saying of any of that to worry you- I'm not sure if that's the norm or what- just so you know what may happen.

The staff were all fantastic but there was a hell of a lot of waiting around and repeating myself going on xx

 

[bubbles82]

It all sounds horrendous, I just can't understand why I might have to go through all that if the baby is only measuring around 6 weeks, if it had just started off at home I wouldn't be needing to see them at all.

 

[LoraLoo]

I'm not sure hun, Id personally ask for the swabs and bloods though if they don't do it routinely, just to rule anything obvious out. I guess the fact that you're 'forcing' your body to contract may potentially lead to more complications than a natural mc (though unlikely I imagine) Id like to think they'll offer a follow up scan for peace of mind but I wouldnt put my money on that either!
Hopefully it'll all be straight forward for you xx

 

[Sweety21]

Hey ladies, I can't seem to see the group on fb. No idea why.

Lora, I am 10dpo today and the only test I brought with me turns out to be bad test(clear blue) So have to wait till night when I am back to home.