Big hugs to all you lovely ladies. I'm looking forward to the days we have all our rainbows on the way, moaning about our big uncomfortable bumps and these difficult sad days will just be a bad blip to look back on.
Lora it's mind boggling trying to make future plans isn't it, but still working around the what ifs. My DH was convinced things were going to be ok last time when I kept insisting we should be careful just in case as I never felt confident about the pregnancy really. He ended up talking my mum into coming on holiday with us next October, expecting the baby would be almost 6 months old by then. We'd found a hotel a load of our family go to quite often has had a big refurb and we found a good deal to go in October. My mum ended up inviting a few other family members, and it spiralled to the extent we had a load of people who'd booked the time off work and were ready to send me deposits to get us all booked in. I stalled a bit by telling them we can't book time off work over a year ahead, which gives me until next month to try think of a better excuse, but since our mc I don't see how we can commit to go, as chances are I'll be too pregnant to fly, or have a new baby too young to take abroad. Even if I was to fall pregnant this month the baby would be under 4 months old which I feel is a bit younger than I would like to take a baby abroad. So I worry all the time about all these people waiting for us to sort things out for this holiday I don't think we can go on, and what I'm meant to tell them.
I have so many plans next year that were going to be affected by TTC, then by me actually being pregnant, and now by me not being pregnant anymore but TTC again. My auntie is planning a weekend abroad for my mum's 60th, and I've not been able to give her a straight answer for all the same reasons, blaming work but can't get away with that one much longer. We've got my sisters and a few close friends weddings all around the time I was due, so I had all the stress of not being able to fit in my bridesmaid dress my sister bought, and still don't know how big I'll be then now, so haven't been able to warn her the dress may be no good for me. And I've had to drop out of a good friend's hen weekend because it was two weeks before my original due date, so again made up some excuses but now I'm not due then so could go but it's too late as arrangements have all been sorted without me and I can't really go back and said my excuse was a load of rubbish.
Also still got the whole London trip DH was arranging for us with his brother and SIL. I pointed out to him this week that we can't really go, as I'll possibly be expecting again by then, and won't want to tell them or be that far from home with the worry of another possible mc, but it will be really obvious I'm not drinking. DH didn't seem bothered and wants us to go, but didn't have an answer as to what we would do. It annoys me a bit as if I am pregnant then I really don't want to be trailing round London with the three of them watching them get stupidly drunk and staying out late while I can't join in the same, but DH would say this was selfish even though there's no chance he would consider going if he was told he couldn't drink!
