funny things you sed whilst in labour

[pupsicle]

I didnt say anything while in labour as I didn't have time for the gas and air. But while I was having my stitches I used gas and air, and I told my OH we needed some of this at home, can we take this home? He told me we couldn't as it was fastened to the wall, so I said "fine, we'll take the wall too". Also apparently I thought the curtains were pretty funky

 

[Marlarky]

I was given a short-acting narcotic and when it kicked in I kept telling DH and my mom, "I feel fuzzy! I feel fuzzy!"

 

[xxxKatiexxx]

Within minutes of using g&a I said I felt like I'd had 2 bottles of wine! Not that I have ever had that much to drink! lol)

I kept talking to the midwives about One Born Every Minute and saying how silly some of them looked but now I knew that I looked as silly as them I was just talking rubbish!

My OH called me an elephant (I was rocking my head back and forth as I was taking in the g&a making elephant noises apparently!) lol

How embarassing!

 

[LoisP]

When I was screaming in pain, the midwife told me to stop screaming so I leaned forward and screeched in her face for about 15 seconds

 

[Gemz01]

Lois I just had a visual of you doing just that! &

Apparently I asked the midwife if she would adopt me

 

[LisaMariee]

After a 20 hour labour and 2 and a half hours of pushing once her head came out I demanded the midwife pull the rest of her out rather than wait for the next contraction. Luckily enough she didn't meet my demands

Then when Daphne was given to me she had moulding on her head which was like a huge egg shapped bump and I asked if she'd always have it because I didn't want her to be picked on

 

[LoisP]

Lois I just had a visual of you doing just that! &

Apparently I asked the midwife if she would adopt me

!!
My mum has just reminded me I called the midwife a stupid drug hating hippy when she advised against an epidural PAHA
xx

 

[Marlarky]

"Can I come back when it's time to push?"

I was already a 7!

 

[lizardbreath]

I didnt say anything Funny or really anything at all when Katherine was Born too little time. really the only thing I said was when the Nurse examined me and said your already 10 CM and the head is right there. My responce was are you sure I want my Drugs. Sadly I didnt get my drugs or anything for that matter she made a quick appearence

With Jaymee though I had Drugs and I was talking to my sister shortly after getting my drugs and I said to her Man I havent had a Contraction in forever, Shes like Stef according to those numbers your having a HUGE one right now , and for some reason this was Funny to me. and really the only other thing I said Was to the nurse after she gave me the drugs is your my hero. these work fast.

 

[RiverSong]

(While bent over having the epidural) is that an ipod in your pocketsssssses.x

 

[DreaminOfBaby]

GREAT THREAD! Was such a great laugh. I wish we had G&A out here! I had a planned C-Section so unfortunately I have no drugged up funnies lol My lo's birth was actually pretty low key and quiet. I remember thinking that I felt like I was in an episode of MASH lol When I had my epidural it hurt like hell and I was almost crying trying to focus on happy thoughts and just breathe and the anesthesiologist asked me (why I'm not sure) "What are you feeling?" and through gritted teeth, trying my best not to yell i said "PAIN!" I felt bad but I'm sure (esp. after reading this thread) that they've heard worse.

 

[gem_wilko]

I went into a full blown conversation with my anaesthetist as i was sure i worked with... turns out when i "came round" i actually did used to work with him lol

 

[holly2234]

I only recall two things that got mentioned again afterwards. I had no drugs so it was simply me being myself!

"I cant tell if i just shit on the bed" (i got off the bed after one push because of that! I didnt do anything on the bed either after all of that worrying )

"I think i just tore myself a new arse hole" (i hadnt done that either!)

 

[amber26]

My first labour i was giggling my head off i can't say i did talk (i did it with no support except for a trainee midwife ).I was hooked up to a moniter cos my daughter was in distress.I told me ex not to rush has they rang him half 5 in the morning,Not to get back to bed do his ironing then turn up at 11 o'clock in the morning and ask how i was doing.For me to point at the cot with my gorgeous little girl who arrived half n hour before he did.I did shout to the woman after having a shower i am bleeding to death lol.What weight was your baby's my first was 7lb 6 ounces
My second birth was really weird my husband ex turned up and wouldn't leave.I sat at the end of the bed rocking backward's and forwards and going to the toilet every 3 minutes.Why his ex was going remember this remember that.And telling my hubby she should call our baby this and that.Didn't relise she was having the baby for me.Told her to f- off in the end.Went to the toilet were my waters broke and couldn't walk.Delivery suite 2 puffs or gas and air and biting on the mouth piece my husband had a beautiful girl who weighed 9lb 11.5 ounces ouch that hurt

 

[SophiasMummy]

Thought I would bump this thread back up as there are loads of new mummys around hopefully with some more funny stories! Xx

 

[maddog37]

No a&g here, but had an epi (and a stronger med in my epi near the end) and still in the most pain I've ever felt. Right before the pushing, I think it was, I screamed out, "Oh my God, I can never be a scientologist!!" Everyone in the room laughed. I was thinking, "I know that sounds funny but it really isn't!"

 

[G2501]

I had my lovely daughter Sophia May 4 days ago. While I was pushing but before her head crowned I got it into my mind that she should be coming out all in one push rather than over the course of a few. I announced to the midwife my contraction had stopped so I couldn't get her out and asked if I should "suck her back up"? Midwife couldn't stop laughing but reminded me that I definitely wanted to wait for next contraction to push and "sucking her back in" was the wrong direction! Goodness knows what I was thinking!!

 

[KittenKat]

The one I vaguely remember from Kara's labour is while the OH was talking to a work mate who had phoned and he was explaining that it was looking very unlikely he would be in work as I was busy hugging the door (I was) I kinda called over something like "but its a lovely door, I love this door" think I may have then made a show of giving it a kiss.

One thing I thankfully didn't say because it sounded soooo dumb was "why is it so hard to hold onto a wall" I got hit by a huge contraction while waiting for the midwife and I think I was sweeping the floor at the time so only thing to grab hold of was the wall.

Will also add no drugs were used to achieve those things Just me being me. OH also had a bad habit of being able to make me giggle so I was constantly telling him off as it hurt, he would appologise but do it again not long after

 

[Pink-Mummy]

"where's fat gemma gone?" my midwife was on the larger side and she was simply amazing. every time she left the room i apparently screamed this phrase at the top of my voice. Charming. I was mortified!

 

[tristansmum]

i had emergency c section after forceps faild and been given a spinal block. my legs were in stirrups and i touched my thigh but couldn't feel it obviously. so i announced very loudly to the 15+ people in the theatre that "my leg feels like a sausage"! My OH is still laughing about it 7 months on as it was just the weirdest thing to say