Rainbow Makers - WTTAL, NTNPAL, TTCAL & PAL friends

[Jox]

Hannah - thats awful. I had the same. went back to work 8 wks later and answered the phone to our maintenance manager who said 'hi Jo, long time no speak, hows parenthood?'.. I work for a very small cimpany and they didn't bother telling any1!!

Lots of love tasha. I wish u & riley rae were looked after better x

 

[mummymarsh]

tasha - aww thats lovely they all have the same teddy

Hannah - ohh dear i bet she felt awful for you having to explain.... but yes least she was understanding and nice she shared a tear for you.....

i totally feel blergh today......lilly is being a total madam too.....

xxxxxx

 

[Tasha]

MM, think they pick up when we are feeling 'bleurgh' and try to test us

 

[mummymarsh]

tasha i think you are right.. she has spent half the day on the naughty step..... she is such a little bugger... all i want to do is curl up in bed and not worry about what she is getting up to, what im gonna cook her foor dinner, getting s ready for work and nursery this evening..... blergh..... lol........still drowning in my own self pity hahahahaha

xxxx

 

[hannpin]

MM hope you feeling a bit better now, I hate days like that.

And I think you two are so right, they so know when to bring out the naugthtyness. Els turned in to a right monkey the few days after Harri was born, or perhaps it was just I was less tolerant of her.

 

[mummymarsh]

i was lucky after charlie, my mum stayed with me so me and stteve didnt have to worry about her..infact i didnt have to worry about anything mum did the lot... xxx

 

[hannpin]

aww thats lovely for you to have the support of your mum mine could not give a shit, but thats another story for another day!!! haha

So MM, still got signs of AF, when will you test if she does not show???

 

[mummymarsh]

awww thats a shame when i told mum i was pregnant with chharlie she cried and said i couldnt be pregnant lilly issnt even 2 andd its not fair... buut then an hour later in the phone call she was over the moon... (she still thinks im a kid, not 23 and married)

she was awesome through it all actually and we arent very close really.... but monday after midwife said his heart stopped i rang and she was straight up.....

yeh still got AF signs... no cramping yet but just the spots the thrush and more dischargy.. ( i know they could be pregnancy signs too but defo not enough sexy time around ovulation) i probably wont test until im in CD40ish...... gonna be tough loong wait lol....xxx

 

[SarahJane]

Signs look positive kayleigh x

hannah - that must have been tough at work. I am expecting something similar at work for me soon

AFM, my appointment today was odd, both sad and positive. In one hand they couldn't tell me anything but on the other they have given me a really detailed plan for next time. As far as they can work out Evelyn was perfect and I had no infections and every test was fine. The only possiblility is that there may be an issue with clotting as although the tests were negative, as Evelyn had already died they are not always accurate. They have therefore recommended I take low dose asprin for my entire next pregnancy.

As for next pregnancy, they have suggested I have first 2 scans as normal as I feel the problem is later. I will be consultant led. I will then have weekly growth scans from week 20 to week 25 followed by monthly scans after that. I feel so reassured as they just asked me what I thought and what worried me and she just wrote in to the plan what I wanted. She said I will probably be induced at 37 or 38 weeks assuming baby is ok.

Odd feelings today, I am sad that I will never know why Evelyn died but positive as I have a plan for next time which I am happy with.

My cousin who is due the same time as Evelyn (and lost one at 16 weeks in October) messaged me today too, she said the following which was really lovely
"heaven is like a garden, they need pretty little people in there as well as the wrinkly old ones" I think she's right.

Hope you are both well Jo and melly x

Tasha - loads and loads of hugs and I will be wearing a dragonfly brooch I have at work tomorrow in memory of your gorgeous little girl xxx

 

[mummymarsh]

Little Riley Rae angel in the sky,

Today is your special day , but mummy will find it very hard and very sad.... However they are not just sad tears she cries for you, they are tears of joy that she got to spend that precious time with you while you rested inide her belly.....

Look down on her today and hold her tight as i know you already will be doing....

we understand that you wanted to keep your big sister honey company and that you knew your mummy was brave enough to let hat happen.... if she could have one wish im sure it would be to bring both her girls back.....

Now you have your little bed with your sister, be a good girl and not to naughty up there with the other angel babies

RIP Little Riley Rae love Charlies mummy.... (look ater him for me to) xxxxx

 

[mummymarsh]

SJ - Im sorry you didnt get any complete answers but glad you have a plan in place for nxt time.. sounds like they are going to look after you which must be some reassurance to you even if its not a lot..

xxxx

 

[Jox]

Tasha, I wish there was something i could say lots of love sweetheart x

Sj - im sorry u got no answers ur appointment sounds the same as mine went. I hate hearing theres no reason. A heart doesnt just stop beating for no reason

Lots of love all round x

I have my 2nd interview this evening! x

 

[hannpin]

Tasha thinking of you today XXXXXX

 

[mummymarsh]

jox - good luck wioth the 2nd interview i may have missed you explaing the first... whats it for???

xxx

 

[hannpin]

Tasha hope today was as gentle as possible on you xxxx

SJ, sorry you got no answers at your appointment Good tfor you to have a good plan for future pregnancies, and sounds like they will be monitoring you v.closely next time

Jo gd luck with the i/v f x'd for you xxx

MM it only takes once remember , gosh you are very patient waiting till CD40, I would be not speeling tonight in anticipation ot POAS tomorrow morning!!!

Hope everyone else is doing ok xxxxx

 

[mummymarsh]

hnnah - trust me its gonna be tough lmao...but i wnt give in.. plus loger i dont know theless time ill have to wait when i do know

 

[Tasha]

Thank you so much for your thoughts girls, and MM thank you for that beautiful message to Riley Rae

Hope your interview went well Jo

And the rest of you are good?

Today was gentle. Beautiful service (although the minister did ask me at the grave side if I am going to try again ) and beautiful day in general, but it hurts so much

I had ovulation pains early hours of this morning, mine are extreme, worse than any period pains I have ever had and it just felt so cruel, another reminder that Riley isnt in there

 

[mummymarsh]

im glad it was a generally gentle day for you. silly minister... maybe man of god, but still a man lol.....

sorry to hear about your ovulation pains i should be 34 weeks on sunday


keep smiling..... thinkig of you xxxxx

 

[Jox]

Tasha - im glad Rileys day was beautiful. Stupid minister

MM - its awful remember where you should be now the interview was as a trainee dealer/croupier at a casino!!! different to what im doing now but its a job and it will pay the mortgage and feed Leo so cant really complain.

So, the interview seemed to go well. should hear from them once all the interviews are over, so end of next week. will see. im tired... tired of thinking and planning what we should be and need to be doing. sick of looking at the bank account and seeing how bad it is. sick of having responsibility for everything fed up tbh I just want to be happy and be the best mummy i can be...

Hope everyone is having a 'nice' evening xxx

 

[hannpin]

good morning ladies, hope everyone is ok, and looking forward to the weekend. anyone doing anything nice?

Tasha glad Riley Rae's day was a beautiful one but what was the minister thinking, honestly there is a time and a place, and I dont think that was it

Jo glad the i/v went well, lets hope you get it and you will be able to stop stressing over money. You are not the only one in that boat, we are the same here, everything has just got so expensive, but wages are not going up. But I gotta be greatful I got a job i suppose.

I am going to brave it to playgroup this morning, then off to see my heavily prego friend later, I am sure I am trying to punish myself! haha! no seriously I think it will be good for me, just hope I manage to keep the tears away (waterproof mascara has come out just incase thou!!)


for everyone xxx Have a good day