Rainbow Makers - WTTAL, NTNPAL, TTCAL & PAL friends

[mummymarsh]

morning ladies....

how was your saturday evening???

SJ - glad you had a night out and let your hair down, even if that woman did dampen your spirits a bit and nooooo havent tested yet.... lol.. not for at least another 12 days.... need to give AF a chance lol.....

Jox - so if consultant thinks its genetic have they tested to see that???

Tasha - thanks so much for that site..... ive found one i really like.... Our Charlie is in a baby sized plot and seeing his tiny little mound is sooo heartbreaking, there is 1 baby cremeated near him and 1 baby burried behind his grandad that i know of.....

AFM - still no AF..... follow up meeting is approaching and im starting to dread it, especially if i am pregnant (which this month i hope im not) i got a stinking cold which i got early on with charlie and im sure it was an early indicator that something was wrong, but the doctor just ignored me.... so i dont want to be pregnant while im ill also what if my consultant says this is likely to re occur and im already pregnant...... the fear is already setting in and ive not even tested yet lol.... xxx

 

[mummymarsh]

Maybe charlies headstone
this is the one i like....

 

[Jox]

MM - no they've not tested for anything because it wouldnt b a condition as such coz both babies r fine, he thinks it could b the genetics between the 2 of us not being able to create a pregnancy/placenta to last 40+ weeks. Its all just speculation really, we will never know.

When is ur appointment for test results? Can see y ur scared

Baby of the year for our local paper today so off to get leos photo taken later

Hope every1 having a gentle day x

 

[Jox]

Can't open the link to the stone on my mobile will look later tho, im sure its. perfect x

 

[SarahJane]

Hi everyone

Little Angels are the company who are doing my stone. I have ordered the CRD21 as Evelyn is in a baby plot and although some people put full size ones in I think they are too big for the plots. I have no idea whether I am allowed to place one or have to wait as I didn't even think of that so fingers crossed they don't have any problems. I can't get the link to work either tho Kayleigh.

I have been getting on with life this last few days and it actually feels good. I have been out twice, I have done work and I have enjoyed myself. Don't get me wrong, there is not a second which goes by where I don't think about and miss my baby girl but I am certain she would not want me at home crying forever so I am painting on a big smile and doing my best to get on with things.

On a weird note, I am feeling totally pregnant. I am 4 DPO so there is no way there can be hormones yet and I am certain that it is all in my mind! Only time will tell I guess.

Jo - re the asprin thing, my consultant said that a study was done a couple of years ago and it is proven to help keep baby baking for longer even if no proven need before. This is why she has suggested it for me even though the tests do not necessarily suggest I need it. I am so glad you are coming to the sands day, I can't wait to put some faces to names.

Hope everyone is having a lovely weekend x

 

[mummymarsh]

hmmm link wont work on mine either.. but i have choose CD9......just gonna look at yours SJ....

jox - its worse i think when you have no explanation my appointment is 7th june......we do have most of our answers... i picked up 2 infections while pregnant, CMV and parvovirus... charlie contracted them through me.... my consultant told me i would be fine next pregnancy unless i re contracted the infection, but im not so convinced now coz the NHS website says different..... its all so worrying and confusing....

xxxx

 

[mummymarsh]

hmmm cd9 wont work at all now even when you go on the website independently.....

 

[Tasha]

Jo, maybe you have a clotting disorder. St Mary's in Paddington, do this test when you have reccurent miscarriages (I am absolutely not comparing what happened with Kasper or Leo to miscarriages at all, but this is the only place I have heard of it being done), it basically looks at the way your blood clots, because they believe there are many many blood disorders that have not been discovered yet. Like my Mum had miscarriages, and a dvt during and after pregnancy and they couldnt find a reason for it, but then my various clotting disorders were discovered in the 80's and 90's (really recent in the world of medicine), and when Honey grew her wings and my clotting disorders discovered, she, my sister, brother etc were tested and she has it, so that was the cause. So if they think there are more to be discovered, maybe one day you will find out too.

MM - I cant see it, but am sure it is beautiful. That panic is normal hun, it will happen no matter when you get pregnant

SJ, I am glad you are enoying yourself With Honey I always found a few days like that and then I would crash down, and be really tearful etc, so if that happens dont feel bad or whatever, it is normal

No answers is what is bothering with me, with Honey I never in thought about no answers because my waters had been broken for eight weeks, so we knew it was likely an infection or the fact I had no waters for eight weeks, but this time although I knew she wasnt growing, I have no idea why, although her placenta didnt look good.

5 days until we go away, and I feel excited most of the time but I also feel really sad thinking I should be pregnant, 30 weeks this week.

 

[hannpin]

:wave: Hello all, I hope everyone is having a nice weekend. Gosh it has been busy in here

MM hope you are feeling better, and your cold goes soon. I cant see the headstone either, but i am sure it is perfect Like Tasha said when ever you get pregnant you will feel the same, just try and stay positive hun xx

Jo I hope Leo is feeling better and the photo goes well

SJ glad to hear you had a good time on your night out, I think it is good to let your hair down every now and gain. Hope the preg feeling sticks When will you test?

Tasha where are you going away? I hope you have a lovely time. It must be horrible having no answers to why your angels grew wings

AFM Fri went fine, did not need the waterproof mascara they may be inducing my friend next week as she has had a few complications with this pregnancy. I cant wait to meet baby Katie
Today we have been for a practice run of Harri's walk to see how long it will take us. We got a bit wet, but had a lovely time. Elsie loved feeding the ducks and seeing the barges on the canal. I just hope the weather is nice for the real thing. xxx

Anyone up to anything exciting this week?

 

[hannpin]

ohh I forgot to say I think we have moved in to NTNP, but I am not that fussed if I am not pregnant this cycle. Just cant stand condoms anymore!!!!

 

[mummymarsh]

https://www.little-angels.biz/CD9.html

try this link?????

xxx

 

[mummymarsh]

yippeee.. hannah NTNP - im not fussed if im not this month either xxxs

 

[SarahJane]

That is gorgeous Kayleigh, perfect for a little one, really lovely. Have you decided what colour you are going with? (I chose black with silver writing/accessories for mine)

I think my pregnancy feeling has more to do with the fact that I am ill. I have a sore throat and am struggling to breath so I think I have a full blown cold on the way - sods law when I only left the house a week ago for the first time!

Hannah, I am so pleased about NTNP for you. I just hope we get a few suprise BFP's this month

Tash, thanks for letting me know about how it was with Honey. I don't really know what to expect with the emotional side. Inside I am still torn apart and don't think I will be complete until I get my rainbow but I seem to be able to hide it more now. I feel like I am building a big brick wall to stop anyone getting in who is going to hurt me.

Jo, how did Leo get on having his pic taken? I am sure that he was the most gorgeous there as he is on this planet for very special reasons.

 

[mummymarsh]

sj - thanks i do love this.... such a good price too..... still shopping about for a bit though.... oh gosh maybe i passed you my stinking cold when i submitted one of my replies lol.... and a few of my friends who lost babies said their feelings of sadness, guilt, despair, etc never went until they had their rainbow babies.....

Hanna - i think letting nature take its course is a great way to deal with things.... and glad friday was a nice day for you....

Tasha - i think the trip will do you good but get how you feel... i should be 34 weeks today and we go on holiday in august to a caravan site that steves family go to every year and we all get to meet up and charlie would have been 4 weeks old that will be sad.. it would have been perfect chance forr family to meet him.... totally gutted.....

 

[Jox]

Hannah - yay for ntnp

MM - that stone is just lovely. which colour would you go for? i love the little teddy on it

SJ - Leos pic went really well, he looked just perfect i will be on with the voting details when i have them we are thinking of buying some of the photos so will show you all hopefully soon. He really is pretty amazing

SJ - having a rainbow safe in your arms brings a whole new lot of emotions. The first week or two after leo was born was about as raw as when we first lost kasper

Tasha - i hope your holiday is gentle on you. I know your babies will love it. do they know they are going?

hope everyone is ok xxx

 

[SarahJane]

Just been looking up songs for my song challenge I am doing on facebook - tomorrow is day 4, a song which makes me sad. This song makes me sad - listen to it and you will know why. A gorgeous tribute to an angel baby. Hope you all like it xxx

https://youtu.be/4RQItPAuqjw

 

[mummymarsh]

nooooooooooooooooo just dropped my iphone down toilet and it doesnt work all my pictures r on there i could cry...... xxx

 

[hannpin]

MM ohh no, thats terrible hope you can dry it out and recover all your pictures

SJ that song is so sad

JOX glad the photos went well, cant wait to see them

 

[Jox]

Oh no MM i hope u can recover them. r they on ur sim or phone? I really hope u can sort it xxx

How is every1?

I feel weird. Just sort of sat doing nothing on mat leave knowing that in just 7 days everything could b totally different if I get this job. Ill b starting a week today! I don't feel ready to leave leo but then im sure i never will feels like the calm b4 the storm!!

Xxx

 

[hannpin]

aww Jo I remember feeling like that when going back to work after having Elsie. I was so upset the first week and cried in the car all the way there. But after that first week I loved it, and now feel it was the best thing I ever done. She has come on so much since being in child care, it teaches her things that I simply could not.

I'm sure things will work out just fine