September Sapphires

[hopie2015]

Uni- I am sorry the nurse said that. I am sure she felt totally bad/uncomfortable after. Please be easy on yourself.
I also felt the same way when dr. pointed out the heartbeat. It is like I have no connection with the baby being real at all.

I think it is normal to have PTSD after the crushing loss you experienced. My friend had ptsd and went for a treatment called EMDR. It helped her immensely with trauma and grief. I tried it a few sessions too for a crime I had experienced once and I noticed a huge benefit.
Here is a link if you want to look into it.
https://www.emdrtherapistnetwork.com/trauma-and-abuse-grief-grieving.html

My degree is in Psych so what I understand is the rapid eye movement helps you process traumatic events. I remember feeling a sense of calm and later a processing and then good closure to the experience.

I also feel many ways you do and my loss was much earlier.

Just take things day by day, treat yourself well and know that good things are ahead of you.

 

[InVivoVeritas]

Mack, what a terrifying experience! I'm so glad they were able to find the heartbeat eventually, but it must have been a very scary experience. I love this stage, though, where you can see the baby moving and completely owning the space. It's so strange to think of all that activity going on in there when we're none the wiser.

Hopie, best of luck today!! The NT scan is a scary one, but once it's done you get to relax for a while. Thinking of you and your dad. x

Uni, you don't sound melodramatic you sound wounded by a bad experience. I really think it might help you to find somebody to talk to, to get ahead of the curve before the rest of this pregnancy. I didn't, and looking back I can see that I put myself through a lot of pain that I didn't have to. Hang in there, and never be afraid to post anything that's in your mind.

I'm starting to get stressed ahead of my scan next Friday. I've had so many losses that I didn't find out about until the ultrasound that they terrify me. I just hope these little ones are growing and doing what they should be in there.

 

[mackjess]

Uni I agree with above. I think what you are going through is normal and not bad sounding, only bad because it's horrible you have to go through the grief and trauma. If posting here helps, then please keep doing so. I don't really like counseling myself, but I found a lot of forums and articles online about my experience and reading there helped me a lot. If you need more than online support though definitely reach out for it. I'm sure your OB may even have suggestions if you just call in to the nurse line.

 

[hopie2015]

Good idea, Mack. Uni- talk to your OB about suggestions. And definitely please keep posting here. I think it is good for you to let anything out.

Well, I am happy but shocked to say --We saw a wiggling baby on the 12 wk scan. I think OH and I are still in shock. Have a photo where the baby is waving! NT measurement dr. said was great at only 1.4.
Got blood taken for genetic tests and results won't be back for 2 wks.
Bad news is dr. said my placenta is too low. She said usually it rises as the uterus grows, so hopeful for that.

Of course I am nuts, so started worrying already about the test results and my 16wk scan. But I am letting those worries go and after a very rough past few months, just going to relax this weekend and be happy that baby is okay.

 

[Uni tsi]

Thank you everyone for all the supportive words. Hopie, I appreciated that link and I think I will look into trying to meet with someone. It helps to know other people feel the same way, especially what you said about seeing the heartbeat. It really does help to know that. Thank you

It made me so happy to read your good news hopie!

 

[InVivoVeritas]

Fantastic news, Hopie! I'm so pleased your little one was healthy and active, and that the results were so great.

Do you plan to find out the baby's gender when your genetic results are back?

 

[caz_hills]

Hi ladies,

I had my 12 week scan yesterday and I'm due on 5th September. Can I join please?!

Caroline xx

 

[Uni tsi]

Caz welcome! Congrats on a great 12 week scan My official EDD is sept 18, but I'm going to be induced two weeks early, which means we might be having our babies the same day

 

[caz_hills]

Yay! It feels very real now the scan was positive ��

 

[InVivoVeritas]

Welcome, caz, and a big congrats on having a great 12-week scan.

 

[hopie2015]

Thank you all so very much!

Caz- welcome -- so glad you found this board. I just read your other post where we wrote before our 12 wk scans. I was soo relieved and happy to hear you also had a wonderful scan!! Felt amazing walking out of there, didn't it?
Farthest along I have ever made it, so feel very grateful right now.
OH is still thinking I know that it is still early and he is worrying A LOT. So am I but trying to temper it down now as it will not help anything.

Inviv- not going to find out gender. She asked us if we want to know and we both shouted -- no! Then OH said it must be a boy, because if she could see something this early. I got ticked at him for saying that. Ha! I did not know it is possible to tell the sex at a 12 wk scan?

Caz- how have you been feeling? Seems we have the same due date!
I have nausea still but meds seem to have really helped the hg I was suffering from. Mack- I hope you're feeling good this weekend?

Enjoy your Sundays. 60 degrees here. Who-hoo!!

 

[caz_hills]

Yay same due date Hopie! Are you in New York? It's freezing here still.

I'm feeling so much better - just a week ago I felt awful - so sick, tired and helpless. But I am feeling heaps better.

In the UK you cannot find out on the NHS the gender until 20 weeks. They told us to make sure w make it clear that we don't want to know so they can g around certain areas!

x

 

[hopie2015]

Yep, New York City! It warmed up here but will be freezing again late week.

So glad you are feeling a ton better! That gives me hope too. I can't wait. I am just grateful my hg is gone.. I seriously thought I was dying!

I have to tell them right away when they call with genetic results, do not want to know the sex. Probably have to wait 12 more days. With my AMA, I am high risk, so just praying results looked as good as the NT measurements.

Hope you're having a great day and everyone else too!

 

[mackjess]

Hopie I have my genetic tests tomorrow. We are going to find out the gender. I'm having a hard time though. Every time I start to get excited about gender I start to worry about the other test results. Praying for happy and healthy babies for all of us, especially the ones that have to hear about AMA every appt.

Hi Cas, welcome and great news on the scan.

Hope everyone is having a good leap day. Yay for an extra day that's a Monday? hehe. blehhhh.

 

[caz_hills]

I forgot its leap year day! Extra day woohoo!

I have major worries today - just worried if something goes wrong again. The scan was so good so no reason to doubt it but I'm just scaring myself now I know. The due date from our last miscarriage is this Saturday coming so I think that's prompting me to think 'what if' and it makes me so sad.

X

 

[Uni tsi]

Significant dates are hard caz. I've heard some women say they found their original due date harder if they weren't already pregnant again but I think it's hard no matter what. What ever we can do to help keep your spirits up, please let us know. I'm available for hand holding, shoulder crying, and general reassurance, as necessary

Mack, I am excited for you that tomorrow you'll get good news. Be sure to let us know right away how it goes! My genetic screening has been scheduled for the 10th. I feel like that's forever from now. So much tension as it gets closer. Last pregnancy, I had been taking Enzyme Co-Q 10 that helps with keeping the genes good in old ladies like me. But, it takes three months to kick in, so although I was taking it when I conceived it wouldn't have had time to start working. So, I'm on my own *scary*

Hopie they told me last time that if the NT look good that's a really great sign that the blood work will come back a-ok too.

I've felt so sick all afternoon. I think I feel worse today than I have this whole time up until now. I seem to recall last time it was worst for me between 8 and 12 weeks, and didn't fully feel better till 14 weeks. I just want this part to be behind me. If I could just sleep through the next two weeks that would be awesome.

 

[mackjess]

Got the labs today, but they said it takes two weeks to get the results back. I opted out of the NT test this time, unless I get some results back that it's needed. Finn was such a wiggle worm that they had a hard time getting a non-blurry pic to measure the NT fold and it came back inconclusive, and caused me tons of worry. I hadn't heard of the CoQ10 before. Too late for me but if I know of anyone else AMA thinking about having a baby I will be sure to share the info.

I'm at over 12 weeks now, so I should be easing into 2nd tri and feeling better. This AM I woke up and my boobs don't feel so huge and sore, I'm a lot less bloated and I seem to have more energy. So of course I'm totally freaking out. I keep reminding myself I felt pretty good for a majority of my first pregnancy, I only got uncomfortable at the end and had no morning sickness at all, so I'm still prego even though I feel close to normal today.

Caz sorry about the date coming up. It is hard. and Uni, you're almost there!! Hang in and hopefully you'll feel better in two weeks or less.

 

[hopie2015]

Happy March, friends! Soo glad Jan. and Feb. are over. If someone paid me a million to relive those 2 months with the hg and everything else going on with my parent's illnesses, they couldn't pay me enough money!!

Yes, COQ10 is supposed to be v. helpful with egg quality. I wasn't taking it consistently enough to make a difference I am sure. So I am truly shocked at my age that the NT scan went well.

Good idea Mack on the NT if it caused unnecessary worry last time. Just wait to see what the blood results say. Mine will be back in 10 or so days.
I can't get excited either until I see the results.

Uni- I wish we could wake each other up when these next 2 weeks are over! So miserable still feeling so sick. I am sorry you are too. I just keep telling self, 'this is temporary'. Soon it will be April! Thanks-- that is v. encouraging to hear your OB said that with NT scan being good, that chances are bloods will be.

I've been lucky not to hear anything yet on AMA, considering I am so old! I found out my OB had twins at age 45. She also delivered my primary doctor's twins at age 45. So maybe she doesn't harp too much on age.

Caz- I know what you mean with the dates. I guess we will always just have some bad worry days. This baby is due same date my lost baby was due in Sept, which is also OH's birthday. It will be such a miracle if this goes well!

Wishing everyone a good and a peaceful evening~

 

[Uni tsi]

Mack that makes a lot of sense not getting the NT. I probably wouldn't either in your shoes. I almost don't want to do it this time because the pessimist in me already assumes the worst but maybe I'll be pleasantly surprised. Ever since having my blood work drawn my anxiety has really peaked.

Last time, when I told my genetic counselor that I had been taking CoQ10, she told me that the major study that was so promising came out while she was in grad school. The day their professor brought it up during lecture, all the women in the class went out that night and bought some to start taking. Because they knew with their advanced degrees in genetics they would be postponing childbirth, and what little research does exist looks very good. They did a study with rodents and if the results hold for human beings, it could keep women in reproductive health into their 50s! They tried to have a human trial, but they couldn't find enough women willing to be in the control group. Everyone they tried to recruit for the study just wanted to go ahead and start taking it!

I also found that it increased my energy and focus. I'll probably start taking it again as soon as I'm not pregnant even if I'm not ttc again right away. There are a lot of different (and expensive) brands, but honestly I think the relatively inexpensive Nature's Made Gummy Mango Flavor works the best.

 

[hopie2015]

Very interesting about the coq-10 Uni. Good to know on that brand, too. I will take it again after pregnancy as I know cardiologists really recommend it from age 40 on. I need to do everything I can to keep myself feeling young since I am going to be an older mom! (God willing).

How is everyone today? Had bad cramps that lasted forever yesterday. Still not really showing.. It's weird. Pregnancy is weird. lol

Happy Friday!