The new Gender Specific Hopefuls thread (2014)

[kittylady]

I think different people regret different things. My MIL wanted a daughter but had 2 boys. She now has 2 granddaughters and says she got to have girls in the end. She is very close to them and so is my mother.

 

[motherofboys]

Firstly I am so sorry for your loss. Hugs to you.
Secondly, remember she was not in the best of health and may not have realised quite what she was saying in the terms of hurting people. My father in law said he wanted to see "the boys" and my sister in law said that her son was there and he said "no not him, johns boys" (John is my husband) I think all that he meant was that he had seen the older grandchildren, they are all late teens and early twenties, but he hadnt seen my boys since he was first in hospital and still ' himself ' because they are still small and it would be scary for them. So he missed them.
You know yourself that it doesn't mean she loved her sons any less.
I do think that some people can move past it, while others can't. Or they move on but still have moments when they think "that would have been nice".
It doesn't necessarily mean you will feel the same, give yourself time to grieve and to look at this when you're not as clouded by emotion.
How did you feel before she told you this? Were you feeling good and moving forward with life? Have you got the time and space/money for another? Could you deal with hearing boy again?

 

[allforthegirl]

My condolences about your loss....

I can understand your feelings for sure. We are going to be tested for the rest of our lives until we no longer notice the stabs of "girlie" things. Will you regret never having a girl? Maybe but it is all in how we heal from it and how we allow it to affect us. With that being said I feel I am always going to miss having girlie things in my house, or even having a chance to have that experience. Even my 6yr old said with sad eyes I wish we had a girl. That broke my heart for him, as there is absolutely nothing I can do to make that true for him either. So we can either let the broodiness take over or allow ourself peace or as much as we can slowly achieve.

But you have to do what is right for you and your family.

 

[EmyDra]

Hey Pinkribbon. My Grandma has two sons and wishes now that she'd had a daughter. She so wanted my 3rd to be a girl (was convinced). I was her first grandchild and that was lovely, but it didn't heal her completely.

 

[EmyDra]

I connected with her maternally much more than my own mother. I'm lucky she's still in my life and I hope I'm not too greedy in wishing for another 10 years at least.

 

[pinkribbon]

My nana had 2 grand-daughters, and then 2 great grand-daughters too, but it didn't seem to fill the void she had. My mother looked after her in her ill health and was probably the closest person she had to a daughter and even that didn't seem enough. I'd have probably put it down to old age and her health and medication, but looking back I can see her lecturing me about 'daughter is a daughter for life, son is a son until he meets his wife' or something like that!

Neither my dad nor my uncle had a super close relationship to her, but I'm thinking that has more to do with the way she treat them and her inability to appreciate what she did have instead of what she didn't my grandfather passed away when my dad was in his teens and until then was in the navy and away at sea a lot so I can't comment on if she'd have tried again

Motherofboys, hand on heart I feel I've reached the point of acceptance about not having a daughter. Day to day I'm so busy I don't really dwell on it. I love my sons enormously and couldn't imagine life without them. My third pregnancy was where I really struggled with my emotions but he's perfect and I'm glad he's who he is. We're stretched financially right now with the 3... I'd have to move house and obviously get a bigger car if I had number 4 and I don't know how many years I'd be away from considering all that.

My OH and I have talked about a 4th child before (eldest two aren't biologically his but he's raised them from being very small) but if I'm being painfully honest if I had a 4th child both of us would want it to be a girl. He feels exactly the same as I do.

 

[motherofboys]

That's good that you are in that place then, where it isn't something that is always there in your mind. I guess only time will really tell but don't let her story impact too much on your own, there are lots of people who accept it and are perfectly happy with their sons in the future x

This month wasn't my month. I did get to 14dpo before af though so I'm happy about that and shouldn't be too disappointed as it's only the first month ttc

 

[pinkribbon]

When we're at birthday parties and the girls are opening their Barbies and ponies and have all their little dresses on and plaits in their hair it still gets me sometimes. I think about not shopping for a wedding dress and being able to do little things like paint nails. But it's not tearing me apart like it was, so I'm okay.

I'm glad you're in a good frame of mind TTC X

 

[motherofboys]

Christmas is the worst for me. Seeing all the cute dresses and girls toys I could be buying g

 

[kittylady]

I think it depends on the relationship. My MIL is close to both of us and is round at least once a week. But that can depend on the wife, I'm very family orientated and believe that she should be a part of our family and make sure my husband makes an effort.

 

[motherofboys]

Hey everyone. Its been a long time. Wonder how many of you are still around.
I'm still waiting for another baby to come along. Having a bad gender desire dip, and a dramatic "never going to actually fall pregnant again" wobble as well

 

[30mummyof1]

still here. Wondering whether i'd like a 4th!
goodluck, hope your bfp is close

 

[Hotbump]

I had forgotten about this thread, after three boys I'm now 13wks pregnant and will find out if this baby if a girl or not in less than two weeks! This is definitely our last baby regardless of gender.

 

[motherofboys]

Exciting times for both of you then.

 

[jessicasmum]

I didn't post too much on here but I'm currently pregnant with my 3rd, I have 2 girls already and find out Thursday if I'll have a boy or end up following in my mum's footsteps of 3 girls. Very nervous but excited too.

 

[donnarobinson]

Hi girls new here I have three boys 4,2 & 6 months I really want a girl but we're done at least till Cruz is 5 I think X

 

[Torz]

Hi there :wave:

I have two fab boys & 31 weeks pregnant with a yellow bump right now. Would love for baby to be a girl just to experience raising the opposite gender but a boy is fine by me too. I'm finding the pressure from others is making me upset about this baby being a boy, like its my choice what sex baby is!

 

[EmyDra]

I'll be TTC this time next year most likely. Three boys 5, 3 and 1 next month.
Starting to really feel like I'm getting my life back so in two minds.
My friend with four boys is pregnant with number five and I have everything crossed its a little girl for her, I know how much she's love that - baby also wasn't planned so will feel very 'meant to be'.

 

[dollych]

Hello!!,
I'm still lurking!! ���� I've not posted anything for ages until last week, but have been reading all the posts from time to time.
Hope you get your BFP soon motherofboys and everyone else ��
I go through periods of GD. I'm ok for a short time then have a wobble. The thoughts of wanting a Girl are always with me, but some days are bad!!.
I'm hoping to start ttc next year (have to convince the hubster first!!) he's done after 3 boys!!.

Good luck everyone xx

 

[motherofboys]

Welcome to the newbies. And good luck to everyone else. Emy good luck to your friend too.