Times when you've had to bite your tongue

[Tigerlilyb]

My Mum, when my baby was 4 months old, going through the dreaded 4 month sleep regression: "Maybe you should just shut her in her room and let her get on with it". Uh no. I'm constantly being told to let her CIO and I refuse. She's 11 months now and has finally started STTN, by herself, with no sleep training. Eat it, you givers of bad advice.

And pretty much everything everyone else has listed in this thread! I don't think I've thanked so many posts in one thread before.


Ooh and my Grandma when LO finally cut her first tooth: "Time to give up breastfeeding!" Noo chance.

 

[robinator]

I really hate the whole " she/he needs to get used to being away from you!"
Why, so she feels like I've abandoned her..?

I get this too! When I leave my daughter at daycare, she gets upset (she's fine after I leave, but the process is upsetting to her). I usually sit on the floor with her and we cuddle/play for a bit. Another mom always says, "She has to learn sometime". What does she have to learn?! That she will be left abruptly?! Such an odd thing to say.

My baby has a meltdown when I drop her off at church nursery. I've gotten to the point where I just stay with her. They're like, "she's got to learn sometime". I want to say, "well, you've got to learn sometime that she'll cry until she makes herself sick because she's so upset, so why don't you let me make the decisions?"

 

[Noelle610]

- When people let their babies CIO and there is a legitimate reason for the crying (such as a tummy ache). One of OH's friend's babies is 3 months and CIOs on a regular basis, and she has bad reflux. I'm not saying I'm against CIO or people that do it, but if your baby is in pain, you need to pick him/her up.

This is awful. As most of you know I'm not against sleep training under certain circumstances, but it's getting ridiculous out there. I'm part of a board that focuses on sleep and I can't tell you how many times someone posts "Doing CIO, baby is teething/sick/whatever". I want to write in all caps, THIS IS NOT THE TIME. It's a hardcore group, so needless to say I'm not very popular on there (According to these people there's no such thing as a naturally poor sleeper and regressions don't exist either).

 

[Wishing_well]

Quinn has been away from me for 15 minutes, in the whole year of her life! So what. I'm not going to upset her just so I can have "baby free time"

 

[Noelle610]

I really hate the whole " she/he needs to get used to being away from you!"
Why, so she feels like I've abandoned her..?

I get this too! When I leave my daughter at daycare, she gets upset (she's fine after I leave, but the process is upsetting to her). I usually sit on the floor with her and we cuddle/play for a bit. Another mom always says, "She has to learn sometime". What does she have to learn?! That she will be left abruptly?! Such an odd thing to say.

My baby has a meltdown when I drop her off at church nursery. I've gotten to the point where I just stay with her. They're like, "she's got to learn sometime". I want to say, "well, you've got to learn sometime that she'll cry until she makes herself sick because she's so upset, so why don't you let me make the decisions?"

It's kind of sad actually. I wonder why people feel babies need to "learn" these things. From my perspective, they have their whole lives to learn that the world is cruel and unfair. It would be nice for them to "learn" that mom is always there, always offering a safe place and always available for affection should the need arise. At least that's what I want my daughter to learn.

 

[robinator]

Quinn has been away from me for 15 minutes, in the whole year of her life! So what. I'm not going to upset her just so I can have "baby free time"

Lol, it's hardly baby free time when all you can think of is how upset they probably are

 

[robinator]

I really hate the whole " she/he needs to get used to being away from you!"
Why, so she feels like I've abandoned her..?

I get this too! When I leave my daughter at daycare, she gets upset (she's fine after I leave, but the process is upsetting to her). I usually sit on the floor with her and we cuddle/play for a bit. Another mom always says, "She has to learn sometime". What does she have to learn?! That she will be left abruptly?! Such an odd thing to say.

My baby has a meltdown when I drop her off at church nursery. I've gotten to the point where I just stay with her. They're like, "she's got to learn sometime". I want to say, "well, you've got to learn sometime that she'll cry until she makes herself sick because she's so upset, so why don't you let me make the decisions?"

It's kind of sad actually. I wonder why people feel babies need to "learn" these things. From my perspective, they have their whole lives to learn that the world is cruel and unfair. It would be nice for them to "learn" that mom is always there, always offering a safe place and always available for affection should the need arise. At least that's what I want my daughter to learn.

Amen, sister!

 

[weejenb]

DS is a very congested baby, he's full of mucus and is always making a grunting/wheezing/snoring noise. I've had him at the doctors more times than I care to count, discussed it endlessly with the HV, and we've all eliminated any known cause, hopefully he'll grow out of it but regardless of this he is a very happy, content baby. Doesn't stop anyone who holds him 'oh, you can feel his chest!' or 'listen to that noise, he's full of the cold' or 'he doesn't sound right, he must be unwell, you should get him seen'.
I have bitten my tongue SO many times against saying something rude, especially when its the same people who say it even though they know I've had him seen plenty of times! I have to go with 'hes not unwell, hes just congested, we don't know why but there is nothing 'wrong' with him. as I've already told you'

 

[Noelle610]

I mean, I think it's okay to have some time to yourself if you so desire. I'm a working mom and enjoy my job. But I don't think one should be encouraged to be apart from their baby purely to teach "teach" them. An infant doesn't need to learn independence. I also find that it feels unnatural for me to be away from her for too long.

 

[Wishing_well]

I mean, I think it's okay to have some time to yourself if you so desire. I'm a working mom and enjoy my job. But I don't think one should be encouraged to be apart from their baby purely to teach "teach" them. An infant doesn't need to learn independence. I also find that it feels unnatural for me to be away from her for too long.

Exactly.
I only left her (with my mum) to have my wisdom teeth out and it was the longest 15 minutes ever. I just wanted to run back to her.

I get that parents need/want time away and that's fine. I just feel like part of me is missing and I can't relax!

 

[overcomer79]

DS is a very congested baby, he's full of mucus and is always making a grunting/wheezing/snoring noise. I've had him at the doctors more times than I care to count, discussed it endlessly with the HV, and we've all eliminated any known cause, hopefully he'll grow out of it but regardless of this he is a very happy, content baby. Doesn't stop anyone who holds him 'oh, you can feel his chest!' or 'listen to that noise, he's full of the cold' or 'he doesn't sound right, he must be unwell, you should get him seen'.
I have bitten my tongue SO many times against saying something rude, especially when its the same people who say it even though they know I've had him seen plenty of times! I have to go with 'hes not unwell, hes just congested, we don't know why but there is nothing 'wrong' with him. as I've already told you'

James was like this. He has allergies even though the tests say no. I always hated hearing "he's so congested" or "get him to the dr".

 

[robinator]

I mean, I think it's okay to have some time to yourself if you so desire. I'm a working mom and enjoy my job. But I don't think one should be encouraged to be apart from their baby purely to teach "teach" them. An infant doesn't need to learn independence. I also find that it feels unnatural for me to be away from her for too long.

Exactly.
I only left her (with my mum) to have my wisdom teeth out and it was the longest 15 minutes ever. I just wanted to run back to her.

I get that parents need/want time away and that's fine. I just feel like part of me is missing and I can't relax!

Sometimes DH takes her out so I can have some "me" time; I spend the whole time missing her and not enjoying myself. Thank goodness college is years away

 

[weejenb]

DS is a very congested baby, he's full of mucus and is always making a grunting/wheezing/snoring noise. I've had him at the doctors more times than I care to count, discussed it endlessly with the HV, and we've all eliminated any known cause, hopefully he'll grow out of it but regardless of this he is a very happy, content baby. Doesn't stop anyone who holds him 'oh, you can feel his chest!' or 'listen to that noise, he's full of the cold' or 'he doesn't sound right, he must be unwell, you should get him seen'.
I have bitten my tongue SO many times against saying something rude, especially when its the same people who say it even though they know I've had him seen plenty of times! I have to go with 'hes not unwell, hes just congested, we don't know why but there is nothing 'wrong' with him. as I've already told you'

James was like this. He has allergies even though the tests say no. I always hated hearing "he's so congested" or "get him to the dr".

How odd, thats my sons name too! Must be a James thing did he grow out of it eventually? Its so frustrating hearing 'get him to the doctor' as if they think I haven't already!

 

[Emerald87]

I mean, I think it's okay to have some time to yourself if you so desire. I'm a working mom and enjoy my job. But I don't think one should be encouraged to be apart from their baby purely to teach "teach" them. An infant doesn't need to learn independence. I also find that it feels unnatural for me to be away from her for too long.

Exactly.
I only left her (with my mum) to have my wisdom teeth out and it was the longest 15 minutes ever. I just wanted to run back to her.

I get that parents need/want time away and that's fine. I just feel like part of me is missing and I can't relax!

O/T
It took 15 mins to get your Wisdoms out?! Epic! LOL

 

[kellie_w]

Another car seat one here. Someone I know posted a picture of her very small no where near 15kg two year old in a group 2 car seat, the one where its a booster with a car seat not a harness. Their head was under the head part and the seatbelt was round their neck. Apparently the seat with a 5 point harness was "too bulky." It makes my blood boil thinking about it. That child would not stand a chance in a accident

 

[sbl]

Can we keep this lighthearted ladies? Don't take anything personally....bite your tongue lol

 

[robinator]

Can we keep this lighthearted ladies? Don't take anything personally....bite your tongue lol

I'm taking it personally that you're telling me how to behave

 

[ShelbyLC]

Sometimes I have to bite my tongue when OH does something differently than I do it. I have to remind myself that there's more than one way to do things. Like, it's really not going to hurt them if he puts their pants on before their socks.

 

[robinator]

When I'm working the church nursery and people drop their babies off with leftover food crusted on their face. If you need a wipe, I'll be happy to give you one

 

[sbl]

Can we keep this lighthearted ladies? Don't take anything personally....bite your tongue lol

I'm taking it personally that you're telling me how to behave

not telling merely suggesting.