Update - bfn boots own brand?! Please please someone give me hope - late bfp

[jenniferannex]

I understand what your husband means about going private. But you could always go for one around 9 weeks, then that would probably ease your mind until your 12 week scan. Then once you've had your 12 week scan and of course everything will be fine, you'll start to relax a bit more as the most important development has already taken place. That way you shouldn't feel too tempted to book another scan. Unless its a gender scan

 

[happycupcake]

I think one private scan between now and your 12 week scan would be a good idea.
You could possibly find the hb with a Doppler at home from about 9 weeks but they will almost certainly be tricky to find and will take some time and patience. Lots of people don't find the hb and there isn't anything wrong, it's just hard to find, but at the same time plenty do find the hb too. Just do whatever feels right for you.
I was overweight first using a Doppler (5' 4" and 14.5st) but we found him eventually! Someone mentioned about positioning of things and stuff like this, that does play a part too.
I was consultant led but I mostly saw my midwife until later on in the pregnancies when I had a handful of appointments with the consultant. I think it was because I was overweight with my second, then with third I think it was more her growth seemed to slow (it hadn't, the scan was wrong) and I have MH problems too so that may have played a part, I can't remember now, but you'll likely see both

 

[itsnowmyturn]

I was consultant led with both of mine, my first baby I was at Birmingham women's hospital as it was my local hospital but because they get really complex cases they treat all consultant led pregnancies the same and I had loads of visits with the drs and also saw my community midwife the same amount of times as I would midwife led. With my second I was at a different hospital and I had to argue to get an appointment with the consultant to get my growth scans but after that I didn't see the consultant. It affected where I could give birth as when you are consultant led u can't go to a birthing centre it has to be at hospital, with my first it made no difference as I didn't get to the hospital and the second I only got there with a short time to spare so it wouldn't matter for me really but it might for others.

I agree one scan won't hurt. My ohs step sister paid for a private scan at about 8 weeks I think because of a miscarriage and then she paid for a 3d one because of a bad 20 week scan. It gave her reassurance and sometimes that's all u need.

I have to disagree with the part of a previous posters comment where they say having a Doppler won't change what will happen because it can. There have been many cases of a Doppler falsely reassuring a mum that everything is ok and sadly the outcome hasn't been happy. There have also been many cases where woken have gone for hospital monitoring and also they can hear the heartbeat the trace picks up some anomalies and they have been taking straight for emergency induction or section and have been told of they had waited any longer they might not have had a happy ending, again using a Doppler in those cases would have falsely reassured.
I agree what one person said though about not using it if you are concerned. Many people do use them and it does help but I think for your case with your anxiety and stuff it probably would cause you more stress than it would resolve. Ultimately you need to make an informed choice so speaking to your midwife is probably the best way to go.

Are u seeking some help for your current anxiety? Make sure when u speak to your midwife you fill her in on your past mental health history and make sure u get some good support, it's really important xx

 

[happycupcake]

Itsnowmyturn, I was saying that because a Doppler can't impact the outcome of a pregnancy. It doesn't have any impact on whether a pregnancy continues or not. The use of one cannot determine whether there's a healthy viable pregnancy there or not, or whether it's going to result in mc. That's what I was saying.
I understand what you're trying to say about the potential for false hope, but for many, many women who are suffering from anxiety as a result of mc before, they can be a source of reassurance. It won't be able to tell that person whether or not hearing a hb will mean the pregnancy will continue, but what it can do, if the hb is heard, is reduce anxiety and stress for that time, which can be very helpful.
The vast majority of the time once a hb has been found on a scan the pregnancy will continue, but no one, not even doctors, midwives or hospital scans can predict with 100% accuracy how the outcome will be.
My own personal experience using a Doppler after having previously had a miscarriage was helpful. I knew it couldn't possibly tell me if the baby would be fine, but for that moment, for that day and the subsequent days I heard the hb, it made me less anxious and more reassured. I think if someone using one can keep in mind that there are no guarantees then it won't harm to use one. But everyone has to keep that in mind anyway, at any given point during a pregnancy. Nothing is set in stone, but the further you go into a pregnancy with a healthy baby, the more likely it is to have a good outcome. That's what I was trying to say

 

[red_head]

Just thought I’d update - everything seems to be going okay (touch wood) - I still have days where I’m convinced it’s over but I am slightly starting to feel pregnant. I’m still having lots of growing and stretching pains but I swear I can ‘feel’ a bump sometimes although you can’t see it. No more bleeding (again touch wood) and although I’m not having any sickness or anything and my symptoms do seem to come and go, I do recognise some changes and that I can’t stand the thought of eating at all really!
Anyway I’ve just had a call from the midwife - I’m seeing her Friday. It feels like such a massive achievement getting this far, as with my furthest loss she phoned just after it was confirmed I had miscarried and that felt like such a punch! Now I’m just hoping I make it to Friday!!
I’m going to talk to her about buying a Doppler and possibly having a reassurance scan if they’ll let me but we’ll see. It feels like it’s real now, and I do catch myself being happy and excited and planning stuff, although once I realise I’m doing it I stop myself, just incase!

 

[happycupcake]

I know how you feel re the midwife. With my 8 week mc, I had my booking in appointment the day it happened and she still insisted on booking me in despite what was happening. It was awful.
But, you have come SO far it's amazing! Symptoms do come and go, the fact you don't feel like eating is a good sign imo, I always felt like this with mine early on! Didn't with my mc though, so I see it as a good sign. Although don't take it as a negative sign if you regain your appetite.
Your midwife will probably advise against a Doppler, in my experience most advise against them. But whatever the advice is, just go with what you think will help you as that's what really matters. I doubt you'll have a problem getting in an early scan for reassurance. They want you to feel as relaxed and confident as you can as stress isn't good for anyone.
I'm so pleased for you

 

[red_head]

Hey - just thought I’d update as I’m freaking out again!!
Had a scan today - supposed to be 9 weeks now, at the latest going by the last scan - and that was pushing it with when I thought I ovulated and bd’ed. Anyway, it was a private scan as I’ve been worrying - baby is still in there and we heard the heartbeat which was amazing!! But what I’m worried about is she dated me at 8+4!! My due date started at the 23/08 and is now all the way back to the 07/09!! The last scan was 2 weeks ago and 1 day ago and dated me at 6+6. It’s not possible and I’ve been reading a lot about slow growing babies and miscarriage. I’m very worried especially due to my lack of symptoms. My midwife is useless and just says try not to worry without offering any medical reason not to!! I also wasn’t told the heart rate again so I don’t know if it’s a strong heartbeat but she did say it looked great and it sounded fast. I just feel like every step we take something is flashing a massive warning sign! I really want to relax and enjoy this pregnancy as I’ve been so lucky with symptoms but everything is pointing at the worst every time!

 

[Katiedw21]

I've been silently following this thread and let me know if I'm intruding, but it sounds like you've had your heart broken so much that you've built a bit of a wall to keep yourself from feeling they hurt I can't even imagine the stress and anxiety you feel but it sounds like things are progressing well and you're going to have a beautiful baby come summer. I'm sure everyone says this to you and its easier said than done but just try and breath and enjoy every minute as much as you can stress can be bad for mom and baby baby's grow at different times and you can measure differently at every scan try to relax take a warm bath eat some chocolate haha I'm praying for you and hoping for all the best! You got this mama!

 

[red_head]

Thank you that does sound like me!! Do you know having chocolate and a bath sounds like absolute heaven and before I got pregnant would have been my favourite thing but it’s so weird the baby seems to only hate chocolate and water!! Everytime I shower or bath I feel sick, same as chocolate and it’s literally the only time I’ve had a hint of morning sickness! So weird! I will try to relax though - and actually it is only a few days each time and I know even a milimter out on the screen can change the date. I think it was the initial shock and worry!

 

[red_head]

Here’s the picture from today btw it’s amazing to see how much he had grown so quickly! He looks like a baby now!

I don’t know why the picture is on it’s side! I can’t change it!

 

[Katiedw21]

Here’s the picture from today btw it’s amazing to see how much he had grown so quickly! He looks like a baby now!

I don’t know why the picture is on it’s side! I can’t change it!

Well isn't that the most beautiful thing in this world! We women are amazing we can grow Human being I our bodies! It's simply amazing! You are doing so good just hang in there so maybe done caramel? Lol no chocolate ahhh JKJK couldn't live without my Reeses! Hopefully soon you'll be able to take a nice warm bath and relax! I will be following your story and keeping you in my thoughts and prayers!

 

[red_head]

Thank you that’s really lovely I really appreciate it x

 

[happycupcake]

Red, if I'm right, your private scan makes you three days behind what you thought? If so, don't worry! Honestly these really early scans can change so much. I had had about three different due dates with my first by the time I had my twelve week scan.
I don't think you have a slow grower in there. And going by your scan photo, which is adorable by the way, he or she looks much more sizeable than our DS2 at 8 weeks.
When is your next scan? I really hope you're able to relax. I agree with the previous poster too, it's hard to allow yourself to be excited and to relax when you've suffered so much heartbreak previously

 

[Ask4joy]

So happy things are going well Red! Just so wonderful!

 

[MoBaby]

Omg I’m so happy for you!! How crazy! Aww

 

[red_head]

Thank you all - just keep your fingers crossed he catches up a bit please! Next scan is the 23rd of Feb! Ages away!

 

[Bevziibubble]

I've got everything crossed for you!

 

[happycupcake]

I'm sure all will be fine

 

[red_head]

Thank you

 

[doodlegirl]

Lovely photo red My dd measured few days behind at 1 point, I had about 4 scans during first trimester and each put me plus or minus from previous scan. I have a good feeling about your pregnancy but I know how hard it is not to worry. Step by step Red, you are getting there. I was very anxious like you with my dd and it got better after first trimester and then feeling the baby helps too. You will still be worried but the movements will re-assure you. Big hug x