Update - bfn boots own brand?! Please please someone give me hope - late bfp

[happycupcake]

That's an amazing line! Congratulations! Keeping everything crossed for you

 

[MKaykes]

That's a great line for 13dpo imo! I still had a relatively faint line at my beta with a hcg of 160 at 9dp5dt, so equivalent of 14dpo.

 

[red_head]

Help! I did a boots own brand test this morning - bfn so I did another hoping it was wrong and bfn again I took them out the packet and there was a really faint line on both. Has anyone had trouble with these in the past? I did take another frer to try and calm myself - that looks the same as yesterday, possibly a bit darker, and I also did a clearblue digital as I am so freaked out I wanted to see it in writing! Also positive but I’m still a little nervous as I’m 14dpo today - exactly 2 weeks and it says 1-2 rather than 2-3 which I know is technically okay, but I’m still nervous. The other thing is that the frer should really have been darker this morning as yesterday I had drunk a lot, but in other pregnancies (which obviously ended badly tho) I’ve always tested better at night.
I’m so freaked out. I cannot handle this if it goes bad. I have a little nausea last night and this morning and I haven’t slept very well the past few nights but I don’t know if that’s just nerves! And also I’ve started having very light nose bleeds which is unlike me and apparently can be due to pregnancy. But I’ve also got some minor cramping and twinges which are making me worry. I just want to know everything’s okay!!
Here are today’s tests

 

[Sander]

The FRER def looks darker, no question. Also it's too early for your Clearblue to go 2-3 weeks. I'd give it at least a few more days, even a week - they aren't that accurate. Forget the cheap tests, you might have gotten a bad batch.

Focus on the FRER, there's no denying that line and it's certainly darker than yesterday

 

[Bevziibubble]

Your FRER is definitely darker!

 

[red_head]

Thank you. I haven’t been sleeping and woke my poor husband up at 6.30 this morning crying after doing the tests. And he was out last night at a gig and didn’t get in til 2! He’s such a good person putting up with me! He is going to be the most amazing father, I just hope this is his chance at that. Honestly I just am so worried it’s goig to go wrong like every other time. I wish I could look into the future and just know what’s going to happen! This is torture! I just really hope Christmas at least goes smoothly - my sister in law is 8 months pregnant and is coming down for Christmas - I was already dreading seeing her as I do get emotional and thought we were out of luck completely and was trying to come to terms with benign infertile. I eventually agreed to them coming over Christmas Eve (they’re staying nearby at the in laws) but that me and hubby would spend Christmas Day together alone, but now I’ve changed my mind about everything, and depending on what happens over the next few days may change it again a few times at least!! X

 

[robo123]

The boots test is not BFN there is a clear line on both. Try not to stress yourself out it's not good for you at this stage. It's hard seeing pregnant people never mind close relatives so just take that each day as it comes my friends have had 2+ children in the time that I have been trying and some days I just did not want to see them. Don't be hard on yourself. It's so hard losing a child never mind multiple times focus on the positives right now you are pregnant and that line has got darker in less than 24 hours! Xx

 

[red_head]

The boots test is not BFN there is a clear line on both. Try not to stress yourself out it's not good for you at this stage. It's hard seeing pregnant people never mind close relatives so just take that each day as it comes my friends have had 2+ children in the time that I have been trying and some days I just did not want to see them. Don't be hard on yourself. It's so hard losing a child never mind multiple times focus on the positives right now you are pregnant and that line has got darker in less than 24 hours! Xx

Thank you so much you are being so kind and encouraging and I really appreciate it I’ve had that with friends who have had multiple pregnancies while we’ve been waiting for one; it is so hard. One of our close friends didn’t want children for years, and then when we’d been trying for about three already said she was thinking about getting pregnant in the new year and asked us to wait for her so we’d have a chance of getting pregnant at the same time (needless to say I ignored that request!)! She then got pregnant immediately. I haven’t seen her since as it’s just too painful and their daughter is almost a year old now! I’m not angry at her at all, and I know I’m being selfish but I just can’t!

I am trying to be happy and enjoy this but at the same time I don’t want to as then I think when (if!?) it goes wrong it’ll be worse. Although actually I don’t think it will be worse I think it’ll be the same but I just don’t want to jinx anything. It’s hard!

 

[happycupcake]

Your FRER is definitely darker! And I didn't see a 2-3 on a digi until I was a week overdue af so don't worry about that! Most people see a 1-2 at this stage, if they're lucky - some see a 'not pregnant' at 14dpo.
Those Boots own tests are a nightmare imo. When I was getting clear positives on other tests (including ICs which loads of people don't see clear positives on for ages) and barely anything on Boots own (their early tests). But I can see those lines easily.

I know it's hard and I know it's easy for all of us to say keep calm and try not to worry, but please try to do something to take your mind off things. All this stress and worry won't be helping you and you need to concentrate on relaxing and growing a baby. Do whatever helps you, whatever makes you feel good and remember that right now, you have a tiny little one trying to grow in there, which is a little miracle considering you had given up trying! I don't know what the future holds for you, but at this precise moment in time this little one wants to be here.
Can you ask for betas? Fast tracked? If your surgery can't fit you in then you can go to the path lab at your local hospital and they can do it instead. Perhaps seeing what the number is will reassure you. I know you won't be able to get another repeated until Wednesday (unless they're open Sunday?) but even then you'll be able to have a clear idea of what's happening which is a good thing if it reassures you.
I wish I could take your worries away for you

Can I add that Robo is right about stress. It isn't any good for you or the baby. The thing is, stress produces cortisol, which steals progesterone, which you need to make in early pregnancy before the placenta takes over and makes it itself. It's so important to try not to stress out for this reason. I think we all become stressed in early pregnancy but try to relax and take your mind off everything. Right now you're pregnant and this should be celebrated and a happy time. I know it's hard especially when you have experienced losses, but this time there's every chance it's different and will be here to stay

 

[Ask4joy]

You are definitely pregnant! Hoping and praying this is your sticky baby!

 

[red_head]

Thank you both I’ve been trying to relax, did some wrapping and am now going to do some chemical free cleaning to take my mind off it! I’ve got another frer for tomorrow now, and brought some online so I check progression until my scan next week. I’ve just been thinking though - I was going to dye my hair tomorrow but I don’t want to now as I’m paranoid about doing anything wrong that might hurt things! After the last two losses I really blamed myself and this time I just want to make sure I don’t put a foot wrong, so at least then I know it’s something I couldn’t control. Not that I really did anything wrong last time, but I’d only recently (lol it was like 4 months so it is me being an idiot) quit smoking and worried there would be some in my system, but it’s been a year or more now so it’s fine!!

 

[red_head]

I freaked myself out again so did another frer and I’d say it’s just as dark as this morning, possibly a little darker which has made me feel so much better. I’m really trying to chill out and distract myself and I do feel happy and excited but I’m so worried and just googling every little twinge, or lack of twinge etc. It’s just been such a tough year, and part of me is hoping this is the good making up for it, but I’ve been suffering with anxiety (obviously!) and depression, and that part of me just thinks this is only happening so it can be taken away again, knowing my luck on Christmas Day! I feel guilty because I want to be excited and calm and enjoy every second, that naive happiness I had the first time I was pregnant, but it’s just impossible!

 

[robo123]

That line looks great, I was the same in this pregnancy I have not enjoyed because I have been too anxious and worried: I'm 4 days away from my due date and still struggle to relax. It's so hard when you have been through losses. I really have my fingers crossed that this is your sticky rainbow baby. Xx

 

[MKaykes]

I'm sure you have a ton of anxiety about it, I also keep thinking my pregnancy will be ripped from me after trying for so long and only 1 chemical, you've been through much more. I just keep trying to live in the moment, today we are pregnant! Treat yourself like you are, eat as best you can and get good rest, do things you enjoy to keep your stress down.

One thing I've read is that hpt are qualitative - either you are or you aren't (vs qualitative blood tests giving actual numbers). I tried not to stress about the line based on that, as long as there is a line it's good! Someone actually posted two tests from the same urine, one was light, one was dark. So, I just worry if you keep testing daily if you get a lighter one that you'll get concerned which may not be necessary. I'm down to once a week tests until my scan next week, can you hold off until your appt next week? Maybe take one on Christmas to ease your mind so you can enjoy your holiday?

 

[red_head]

Robo you must be so excited!! I’m so sorry for what you’ve been through, but this is your happy ending Thank you for being so kind

Mkaykes that’s really good advice - I honestly don’t think I can stop testing daily yet - although I will start doing it once a day only now - although that was my plan today! I just need to get to seven weeks and I hope then i’ll calm down, or the scan if we can see something - that’s the furthest I’ve ever gotten and I’ve never made it to a happy scan - I’ve been there about six times in all (including some investigations and clomid scans, etc), same machine every time and every time it’s been sad - I think that’s at the back of mind and isn’t helping things. The ward where they do it is below ground level, so no natural lighting and I get so claustrophobic in there, being poked about with an internal scan and needles and trying to hold it together - honestly it’s turned into a bit of a nightmare to think about! I think once I see there really is something there and this isn’t just a cruel joke then I will calm down!

 

[Ask4joy]

Looking good, Red! That’s what my progression looked like. A little bit darker each day. I took a FRER today to see what it would look like and the test line turned maroon and sucked all of the color out of the control line! I was like you and tested daily at the beginning. I stopped after my 2nd beta but have done a couple when I start feeling anxious. I totally understand the fear that comes with several losses!

 

[red_head]

How far along are you now? I think you’re about a week ahead of me? Maybe a bit more? I can’t wait to see a line darker than the control! I think I should have asked for them to check my beta and progesterone but I’ve missed my chance now til after Christmas. I don’t know whether it’s worth it or not then, and they might do it at the hospital Friday anyway.

 

[Ask4joy]

I’m 5w2d and I know I had relatively early implantation as I got my first faint positive 4dp5dt (equal to 9dpo). The progression is slow in the beginning because hcg is low, even as it’s doubling, but after it gets past 100-200 it rises very quickly!

 

[emma4g63]

Amazing lines on them frers

Congrats Hun xx pregnancy after multiple losses isn’t easy but looks like this is your turn for a rainbow


Xxx

 

[happycupcake]

To have progression in the space of a few hours is fabulous, I think this is a good sign!
Please don't blame yourself for your previous losses, they weren't your fault and there wasn't anything you could have done to prevent them happening. I blamed myself with my mc years ago because I helped carry a heavy fridge and I was taking antidepressants at the time, but I didn't know I was pregnant with the fridge thing and I couldn't just stop taking my meds. You could think of a million and one things to blame yourself for it but truth is it was likely a chromosomal abnormality, which happens, and it's natures way of being kind (I know to us it isn't kind) and letting go so that little one doesn't suffer.
As far as I'm aware dyeing your hair is ok. Two things to remember - the dye may react differently and it's possible it may turn out an odd colour, so I have read. Also, ensure you do a skin test because no matter how many times you've dyed your hair before, you can still develop an allergic reaction to the dye, especially the darker colours. The only dye that is really a safe bet is bleach. If you're concerned, ask them to use a cap on your head to keep the dye away from your skin, but do a strand test to make sure it isn't about to go a weird colour lol!
You deserve to enjoy every moment of this pregnancy, and I have everything crossed that this time, this one will stick