2013 losses- rainbow baby making thread...
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EarthMama
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I'm pregnant...for now.
Have a discouraging update, ladies. I had some very faint pink cm on the toilet paper today so I drove myself to the ER. My cervix is closed and the doctor didn't see any blood. Then she ordered an ultrasound.
It wasn't great news.
It only showed a 4.5 week tiny sac. I was supposed to be 6ish weeks. They asked me if I was sure of my dates and to be honest, I'm not sure. The last time I had sex that month was right before my period and I was not tracking my ovulation precisely but I have had a trend of late ovulation over the past year. Is it possible to conceive so late in ones cycle, like right before your period is supposed to come? That's the only way I can see of this being an actual viable pregnancy. I also did not test a definite for-sure positive on a pregnancy test until I was almost a week late for my period.
I have not had anymore spotting.
I'm not sure what to think, or feel. I don't feel a lot of hope honestly, although all my girlfriends are telling me to have faith and that it could just be a very early beginning of a baby and that I conceived super late in my cycle. It's just so hard to have faith when how things are going isn't exactly textbook. All I have is that 4.5 week sac to go on. *sigh* Going to get another ultrasound next week to see if it grows. I just feel pretty discouraged but to be honest I don't really feel surprised? I dunno. Have to just wait and see now.
Have a discouraging update, ladies. I had some very faint pink cm on the toilet paper today so I drove myself to the ER. My cervix is closed and the doctor didn't see any blood. Then she ordered an ultrasound.
It wasn't great news.
It only showed a 4.5 week tiny sac. I was supposed to be 6ish weeks. They asked me if I was sure of my dates and to be honest, I'm not sure. The last time I had sex that month was right before my period and I was not tracking my ovulation precisely but I have had a trend of late ovulation over the past year. Is it possible to conceive so late in ones cycle, like right before your period is supposed to come? That's the only way I can see of this being an actual viable pregnancy. I also did not test a definite for-sure positive on a pregnancy test until I was almost a week late for my period.
I have not had anymore spotting.
I'm not sure what to think, or feel. I don't feel a lot of hope honestly, although all my girlfriends are telling me to have faith and that it could just be a very early beginning of a baby and that I conceived super late in my cycle. It's just so hard to have faith when how things are going isn't exactly textbook. All I have is that 4.5 week sac to go on. *sigh* Going to get another ultrasound next week to see if it grows. I just feel pretty discouraged but to be honest I don't really feel surprised? I dunno. Have to just wait and see now.
Cerridwen Dru
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Hello Ladies,
I don't know why I haven't sought out women's support until now. I haven't ever had a miscarriage, however my loss is still no different. My boyfriend and I were blessed with a beautiful healthy baby boy February 15, 2012. We let my boyfriends brother and wife adopt because she can never have children and we were very unstable. The decision was right for us because the pregnancy was unplanned and I was in the middle of my divorce. Ever since the adoption became finalized we've been trying to conceive. Since December, I believe my guilt is compounded because the adoption guarantees nothing and now they are in Indiana (we're in Missouri). It's totally frustrating and we've both come a long way and I can't help but feel like I lost my chance to have another child. It's a loss for me I have periods of mourning that no other child will take away just not sure how I go on never knowing if I will have the chance to have a baby again.
I don't know why I haven't sought out women's support until now. I haven't ever had a miscarriage, however my loss is still no different. My boyfriend and I were blessed with a beautiful healthy baby boy February 15, 2012. We let my boyfriends brother and wife adopt because she can never have children and we were very unstable. The decision was right for us because the pregnancy was unplanned and I was in the middle of my divorce. Ever since the adoption became finalized we've been trying to conceive. Since December, I believe my guilt is compounded because the adoption guarantees nothing and now they are in Indiana (we're in Missouri). It's totally frustrating and we've both come a long way and I can't help but feel like I lost my chance to have another child. It's a loss for me I have periods of mourning that no other child will take away just not sure how I go on never knowing if I will have the chance to have a baby again.
Cerridwen Dru
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Earth Mama,
I am new to this forum but if there is anything I do know is we can't deal with the future. When I got pregnant with my daughter, even though they determined my due date by the Last Menstrual Period, she was always measuring 1-2 weeks behind (putting my ovulation at 5 days pre-menstrual) and when she was born she only weighed 6 lbs 6.8 oz (39 weeks and 3 days), my son however was born at 38 weeks and 3 days (by c-section) and he was 8 lbs 12 oz. They said I had to be so many weeks because I was on birth control pills (even though the antibiotics interfered in the birth control pills by causing sporadic ovulation) and the associated bleeding at 5 weeks pregnant caused me to ignore the fact that I was pregnant until the morning sickness started a week later and didn't stop. The point is I began to tune into my body and for some strange reason I started taking vitamins 2 weeks prior, and that is essentially all you can do. Even if this pregnancy ends (and I sincerely hope your's doesn't) you must start focusing on the positive what if? versus indulging the negative what if? Everything happens for a reason it is your responsibility to make your body a home for a baby to grow in. Hope this helps keep us posted
I am new to this forum but if there is anything I do know is we can't deal with the future. When I got pregnant with my daughter, even though they determined my due date by the Last Menstrual Period, she was always measuring 1-2 weeks behind (putting my ovulation at 5 days pre-menstrual) and when she was born she only weighed 6 lbs 6.8 oz (39 weeks and 3 days), my son however was born at 38 weeks and 3 days (by c-section) and he was 8 lbs 12 oz. They said I had to be so many weeks because I was on birth control pills (even though the antibiotics interfered in the birth control pills by causing sporadic ovulation) and the associated bleeding at 5 weeks pregnant caused me to ignore the fact that I was pregnant until the morning sickness started a week later and didn't stop. The point is I began to tune into my body and for some strange reason I started taking vitamins 2 weeks prior, and that is essentially all you can do. Even if this pregnancy ends (and I sincerely hope your's doesn't) you must start focusing on the positive what if? versus indulging the negative what if? Everything happens for a reason it is your responsibility to make your body a home for a baby to grow in. Hope this helps keep us posted
ladyluck84
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I'm still TTC
Earthmomma I know its impossible but try bit to panic just yet. Like you said u may have been later
Earthmomma I know its impossible but try bit to panic just yet. Like you said u may have been later
LucyLake
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Welcome back Sedgeez 
. I'm due 3/23/14. Like Kasey84 and Nimyra, days are filled with worry and uncertainty, but also hope.
EarthMama, you are on my mind so much Prayers and hugs that the week goes fast and you see your little one next week
Welcome new ladies!
Afm, everything is ok at the moment except my OB wants to give me Zoloft because I call more than most patients with questions like should I get checked for a uti? I've declined and will continue to. My SIL wants to give me a baby shower. It's so nice, but I can't go there, I won't even buy myself items! Her reasoning is even though this is baby 3 and 4, it's been 9 yrs and I got rid of everything but sentimental clothing and toys.
Tomorrow is my due date and have plans to let off some blue balloons and visit my baby.
. I'm due 3/23/14. Like Kasey84 and Nimyra, days are filled with worry and uncertainty, but also hope. EarthMama, you are on my mind so much
Prayers and hugs that the week goes fast and you see your little one next week Welcome new ladies!
Afm, everything is ok at the moment except my OB wants to give me Zoloft because I call more than most patients with questions like should I get checked for a uti? I've declined and will continue to. My SIL wants to give me a baby shower. It's so nice, but I can't go there, I won't even buy myself items! Her reasoning is even though this is baby 3 and 4, it's been 9 yrs and I got rid of everything but sentimental clothing and toys.
Tomorrow is my due date and have plans to let off some blue balloons and visit my baby.
Lucy, I say skip the shower and have a welcome babies party once they are here. That's all I can handle this time. I'm too scared to buy a thing.
EarthMama still praying all is well with you.
Welcome new folks. I think there is a loss with giving a baby for adoption too. My friend was forced into giving up her first child by her parents and grieved terribly for a long time... Such a hard thing even when you are doing it with best intentions.
My heart hurts for all Mamas separated from their children. Here or in the world beyond.
EarthMama still praying all is well with you.
Welcome new folks. I think there is a loss with giving a baby for adoption too. My friend was forced into giving up her first child by her parents and grieved terribly for a long time... Such a hard thing even when you are doing it with best intentions.
My heart hurts for all Mamas separated from their children. Here or in the world beyond.
EarthMama
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Thanks for the support ladies. I am actually doing pretty good. I feel optimistic and positive right now...just accepting and like I want to find joy in life regardless of external circumstance. My doctor's appointment today was inconclusive...he did another ultrasound and didn't seem to understand what he was looking at. There was no growth since Sunday, so he ordered me more bloodwork which I will get the result of tomorrow. The bloodwork will tell us either way which direction this is going, so I'm thankful for that.
In the meantime...since last week, I've decided to abandon my mostly raw vegan, vegetarian diet of almost 10 years and go on a paleo diet designed to fortify the body and enhance fertility. (while still eating loads of fruit and veg of course, but now including bone broth, animal flesh, organ meats and some fish) I've been on a cleansing diet for so long and I don't think that's what I need anymore. I've been on a researching frenzy since last week and already feel a lot better in many ways since changing my diet, way way more emotionally stable also. My bloodwork on Sunday revealed that I am lacking in some key minerals and I need to start adding more "mortar and stone" to my body. I've been biking 9 miles a day and my energy just feels solid for the first time in a long time so I feel like I'm on the right path at this point toward making my body a suitable host for a baby. Still taking my vitamins too of course!
Anyway, I'll report back the result of the blood test...but even if it's another loss, I feel really okay about it...I am going to trust Nature on this. I know my rainbow baby is out there and is coming soon, I just know it. It's just a matter of when.
In the meantime...since last week, I've decided to abandon my mostly raw vegan, vegetarian diet of almost 10 years and go on a paleo diet designed to fortify the body and enhance fertility. (while still eating loads of fruit and veg of course, but now including bone broth, animal flesh, organ meats and some fish) I've been on a cleansing diet for so long and I don't think that's what I need anymore. I've been on a researching frenzy since last week and already feel a lot better in many ways since changing my diet, way way more emotionally stable also. My bloodwork on Sunday revealed that I am lacking in some key minerals and I need to start adding more "mortar and stone" to my body. I've been biking 9 miles a day and my energy just feels solid for the first time in a long time so I feel like I'm on the right path at this point toward making my body a suitable host for a baby. Still taking my vitamins too of course!
Anyway, I'll report back the result of the blood test...but even if it's another loss, I feel really okay about it...I am going to trust Nature on this. I know my rainbow baby is out there and is coming soon, I just know it. It's just a matter of when.
LucyLake
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Thank you Nimyra, I love the idea.
EarthMama, my thoughts are with you so much today. I wanted to convey that I went in at 7w4 and then again at 8w0 and was scared out of my mind that there was no growth! It had been 3 days!!! But, the on-call all night OB was so reassuring and said expect it to take a week to see real numbers of growth. Sure enough, they had moved a day and 2 ahead respectively on the next scan! The baby is still so tiny at this stage so I have so much hope for you
I love the changes you are making! I've also enjoyed reading about your intentional community-very cool!
EarthMama, my thoughts are with you so much today. I wanted to convey that I went in at 7w4 and then again at 8w0 and was scared out of my mind that there was no growth! It had been 3 days!!! But, the on-call all night OB was so reassuring and said expect it to take a week to see real numbers of growth. Sure enough, they had moved a day and 2 ahead respectively on the next scan! The baby is still so tiny at this stage so I have so much hope for you
I love the changes you are making! I've also enjoyed reading about your intentional community-very cool!
EarthMama
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Thanks Lucy! I have accepted though that it's over, as I woke up covered in blood last night with bad cramping. Of course I have another ultrasound in a week to confirm and miracles CAN happen but, I feel like I know it's over now with all the blood and the bad cramping. The good news is that because I wasn't too far along, the release of this pregnancy isn't bad at all, more like a nasty period. And because it never had a heartbeat, I don't feel the same devastation that I felt with my previous loss. So I'm okay.
To my shock I feel amazing today...don't know what's up with me, except I feel like this pregnancy has led me in a very empowered direction, despite it ending early. It could be the dietary change, but...I feel stable. More stable then I've felt all year long. So I am feeling positive and confident that in a few months or less, I will be pregnant again and maybe this time my body will be ready.
To my shock I feel amazing today...don't know what's up with me, except I feel like this pregnancy has led me in a very empowered direction, despite it ending early. It could be the dietary change, but...I feel stable. More stable then I've felt all year long. So I am feeling positive and confident that in a few months or less, I will be pregnant again and maybe this time my body will be ready.
LucyLake
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EarthMama, I was so sad to read this news. But, I have no doubt that a beautiful Gemini, Cancer, or Leo baby awaits you my thoughts are with you there are no words
The changes you are making are awesome!!! I also abandoned my vegetarian diet for now just to be on the safe side. I have no doubt that your new diet will help you in your pursuit.
Wishing you all the best, always here if you want to talk
my thoughts are with you there are no words The changes you are making are awesome!!! I also abandoned my vegetarian diet for now just to be on the safe side. I have no doubt that your new diet will help you in your pursuit.
Wishing you all the best, always here if you want to talk
Earthmama I feel like I'm stalking you as I posted on your first tri thread too but I am really so sorry for you, I can't imagine how your feeling or what your going through. Like the others though I'm sure your rainbow is out there waiting x x x
ladyluck84
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Earth momma I'm sorry to hear that news and you have had tongi through this again. I'm glad your not feeling too down
EarthMama
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Thanks ladies, I sooo appreciate the support I've gotten from this beautiful group of women over the past year or so.
I am still flying high, feeling wind beneath my wings so to speak. My mood is still stable and focused and determined. I am feeling pretty worn out today (probably due to the blood loss and drop in hormones) but it's okay, I KNOW I will be pregnant again soon. I'm feeling it, feeling so invigorated and encouraged with all the research I've been doing on nutrition and fertility and know this new diet will help me. I'm still cramping but my thought is that the miscarriage is pretty much over. I passed what looked like a 1/2 dollar sized clot/sack yesterday, so I think everything will start winding down now.
I'm going to take Vitex...can you ladies offer any advice on this? Do you think it's okay to start taking it now, or wait until my bleeding has completely stopped? (it's getting pretty light today)
Are there any other herbs or vitamins I should consider as I wind up to TTC again, and to prepare my body for a healthy pregnancy? I am also going to start Red Raspberry leaf brews today, and also possibly Red Clover blossom.
I am still flying high, feeling wind beneath my wings so to speak. My mood is still stable and focused and determined. I am feeling pretty worn out today (probably due to the blood loss and drop in hormones) but it's okay, I KNOW I will be pregnant again soon. I'm feeling it, feeling so invigorated and encouraged with all the research I've been doing on nutrition and fertility and know this new diet will help me. I'm still cramping but my thought is that the miscarriage is pretty much over. I passed what looked like a 1/2 dollar sized clot/sack yesterday, so I think everything will start winding down now.
I'm going to take Vitex...can you ladies offer any advice on this? Do you think it's okay to start taking it now, or wait until my bleeding has completely stopped? (it's getting pretty light today)
Are there any other herbs or vitamins I should consider as I wind up to TTC again, and to prepare my body for a healthy pregnancy? I am also going to start Red Raspberry leaf brews today, and also possibly Red Clover blossom.
Peacenik
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sedgeez
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I'm so sorry earthmama, but I'm glad you're feeling positive.
I'm currently on cycle day 47 :/ still no sign of af. I'll be testing tomorrow though, so fingers crossed. I just hate getting my hopes up. Seeing the negative test just makes me sad.
I'm currently on cycle day 47 :/ still no sign of af. I'll be testing tomorrow though, so fingers crossed. I just hate getting my hopes up. Seeing the negative test just makes me sad.
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