August loss support thread - update on page 55

[LoraLoo]

Sorry sunshine, I hope you feel better soon xx What you described is pretty much how I felt for the first few days afterwards, but couldn't really put in words or understand it. I had a really hard time coming to terms with being pregnant yesterday but not today. And then I was tearful for a few days and just didn't know what to do with myself, that must have been my hormone crash.

Ladies who are going through it right now, I hope it is over quickly.

I think I have BV I am using those gels to try and sort it out but don't fancy BD ing while using them, so very little chance of falling pregnant this time. Wondering if I had it all along and that's why I lost my baby, which is silly as there's no way I could know. Xx

Huge hugs hun- I think we question everything when we lose our baby- I know I do. Was it because my little boy kicked me? Too much caffeine? Over doing things? Using doppler too much? The likekyhood is none of those things but I think it's natural to look for a reason. I'm sure the infection didn't contribute to your loss xx

 

[LoraLoo]

Hope everyone else is ok. I'm still bleeding on and off but it's brown gungey stuff now (sorry) tests still positive. Dtd this morning for first time since we lost Eden. I know I am nowhere near ovulation but it's nice to get the first time out of the way iykwim? Hubby was worried I wasn't ready but I just want to get my rainbow as quickly as possible. I've started taking Asprin and folic acid though I need a prescription for the higher dose which the Dr in hospital recommended.

 

[caz_hills]

Ladies I feel so tearful tonight. Thinking about the scan on Tuesday, just expecting the worst and then dreading what comes next. I am feeling so sorry for myself I'm sorry - you're all in the same position. We had such a nice day, me hubbie and our four year old boy - we are so lucky to have him and then I remember what has happened and I just hate that it has come to this x

 

[LoraLoo]

I think we are too harsh in ourselves sometimes caz- of course we are grateful for our l/c- that doesn't mean we can't be upset about the babies we have lost. Sometimes the happiest times are the hardest-they reinforce what we are missing out on xx

 

[Vicky_92]

Amytrisha and Vicky so so sorry for ur loss. Hope ur recovery physically and mentally goes ok it's such an awful time xxx thinking of u both.

Caz how u doing hun? Hope ur ok. I think sometimes the waiting to mc can be the worst part xxx

Mod how are you hun? Hope your ok and your cyst is getting better? What is the plan for you hun?

Thanks to you MrsMac and Mod for sharing ur stories of older mums who had healthy babies - it seems very unobtainable to me at the moment so it's lovely to hear positive stories. MrsMac are you going to ttc again or wait to see from advice from ur herbalist? If it's worth anything my hormones and cycle was all over the place after my ectopic at Xmas and I started taking 50mg of B6 & it went back to normal.

I am 3 days post mc today and did test with fmu this morning and its barely there with a test at 25 - it's scary how you can go from 10.5 weeks pregnant to like it never existed in a matter of days. I have been feeling very very low and I think it must have just been a massive hormone crash and now have to build myself up again physically.

How is everyone doing today? Thinking of you all x

Hi sunshine. I am so sorry for your loss. Hugs xx

 

[Vicky_92]

Ladies I feel so tearful tonight. Thinking about the scan on Tuesday, just expecting the worst and then dreading what comes next. I am feeling so sorry for myself I'm sorry - you're all in the same position. We had such a nice day, me hubbie and our four year old boy - we are so lucky to have him and then I remember what has happened and I just hate that it has come to this x

Hi. Just want to give you hug and I'm so sorry for your loss. I know how you feel, no matter how nice of a day im having with my partner and son all of a sudden it will hit me what happenened. And it's like my heart is breaking all over again.

 

[Mrsmac02]

Caz, how are you doing today? It's so terribly upsetting but I think it's natural to feel down and teary. I'm swinging from teary to exhausted. Sending you big

I've just been for a follow up scan - I've passed mostly everything (as predicted, not sure how there's anything left in there to be honest!!) so don't need to go in today for the second pills, just need to go back in a fortnight for a final scan to check everything's ok.

I have to keep telling myself my hubby and DS will help me get through this. Ive managed not to get upset in front of DS but he's obviously sussed out that mummy is feeling a bit down because he keeps saying 'mummy, duddle?' (Cuddle) - he's such a darling, I feel so incredibly lucky to have him and my hubby at this tough time. I honestly don't know what I'd do without them.

I'm taking today to chill out, it's DS's second birthday tomorrow so there will be cake but then on Wednesday, the healthy eating and exercise starts! I'll be thinking about TTC again in 3 cycles time and I need to be in better shape to reduce the risk of this happening again.

How is everyone else doing today? Xx

 

[caz_hills]

Exhausted too here today. Had a nap at 930 for an hour. Was up with my boy at 0630 which isn't bad but just feel so tired.

Huge hugs to everyone x

 

[amytrisha]

Sunshine: I agree the going from pregnant to not pregnant without anything at the end is sad, big big hugs xxx

Joo: please don't over think things sweet. I hope it's not BD but if it is the doctors will help you x

Lo: I hope it happens soon for you babe. Good luck xxx

MrsMac: I'm glad the scan showed you'd passed things alone xx

Caz: keep your chin up sweet!! X

 

[beneathmywing]

Sending hugs to all you ladies. Im on my way to a scan now to see if what I passed the other day was the sac or not and will get suppositories if it wasnt to speed this up.

I had a tough weekend as I lost my baby and dh's cousin announced she's three months pregnant. Happy for her, but sadder for me!

 

[Mrsmac02]

Caz - me too, just slept on the couch for nearly FIVE hours! I am a sweaty mess!

Thanks Amytrisha - I'm glad the worst is over. Just need to hope I don't get an infection now!

Amytrisha - hugs him, that's so so hard. Im not sure at this stage I would be able to keep from getting upset.

I'm really dreading the announcements. My friends are having kids left, right and centre and quite a few are newly married so it's only a matter of time. I'd obviously be very happy for all of them but it would be hard not to remember what's just happened xx

 

[Sweety21]

I am so sorry for mia for few days.
Just read few posts and I am really sorry for all of those who already have had their miscarriage.
Afm, It's really difficult to wait. I thought I would be able to pass everything naturally but, nothing is happening. Except for lower back pains. I decided to take hot bath today and when　I was in there I saw something floating around which looked like small brown streak of blood. As yucky asit sounds but,there was nothing more when I checked? Not sure what to think about it. I have made an appointment on Wednesday to see how it is going, I am still hopeful　that I should start bleeding on my own. But, it's not happening.
So, frustrated that my body is not doing what it should do.

Mrsmac, I know exactly how you feel. It is hard not to remember this things when everyone around us are talking related things. Time will heal us.

 

[LoraLoo]

Afternoon ladies. We've just landed in Scotland so won't be on much/ I hope you all have a gentle week ahead x

 

[amytrisha]

Beneathmywing: So sorry sweet, I've got a few friends who have just had their healthy 12 week scans. It's bitter sweet I understand xx

Sweety: that could be the start hopefully hun, hope your not waiting too long

You too Lora xxx

 

[amytrisha]

I'm having a bit of a crappy day today just feel really down and I'm bleeding what seems like a period now. It's awful cos I'm used to tampons so I'm feeling quite icky. My heads still not fully together and OH is back at work tomorrow. Be nice to fast forward these next couple of weeks x

 

[beneathmywing]

Looks like the tissue i passed the other day was the sac as its no longer there in the scan today. Had another beta today, so hoping it goes down on its own so I wont need a d&c. I am feeling thankful it passed so soon and was painless. My lining is also down to a 4.5

 

[Vicky_92]

Hi beneathmywing. Ack no.. I can only imagine how hard it must be for to hear about a pregnancy so close to your loss. Sending you hugs.

Amytrisha.. I'm glad the bleeding is getting a bit better for you. I'm the same wish I could speed up time. I just feel so raw about it.

The bleeding for me is getting very light and is mostly brown blood which I know is old blood so I'm hoping it's nearly over. Although I'm not sure.

 

[joo]

Thanks everyone, I know it's "just one of those things", but it's so hard not to wonder was it this or that? It's not often I think about that now though. The gels have worked and I got over myself and DTD again last night. I'm still going to the doctors but won't get an appointment for a few weeks. The gels are really good though, I can take them once a week as a prevention as well

Loraloo, the thought of the 1st BD is worse than actually doing it! Glad you got it over with, and I hope you get a negative test soon so you can get cracking!Have fun in Scotland xx

Caz_hills, good luck for tomorrow hun, I hope you get positive news xx

Mrsmac - I am torn too, I could really do to lose a bit of weight and try and close my diastasis recti, but on the other hand I don't want to wait that long! Your scan results sound really promising! That's great that you don't need the second lot of pills. Oh your DS sounds adorable! I couldn't have done it without my daughter and OH, they have been amazing. My DD used to talk about the baby lots, but from the day of the scan she has never mentioned it again. She must have sensed something was wrong and she's been so good for me Enjoy your DS's birthday tomorrow xx

Sweety21, mine started with lower back pain/ache for almost a week before proper bleeding started xx

The pregnancy/birth announcements really sting! I hate to feel jealous, but instead of being happy for them like I used to, my heart sinks first and then I feel bad!

 

[caz_hills]

Thanks Joo.

Just want it to come around now so i know what is happening x

 

[amytrisha]

Good luck today Caz