First time IVF - Started Lupron last Thurs - Would Love some Buddies

[LadySosa]

Good morning ladies,

Sars - I'm so sorry about the work layoffs. I cannot imagine the kind of somber mood everyone must be in afterward. I think its normal to feel a little guilty as a "survivor" - but just know that you having nothing to feel guilty about. The stress is not good for you now. Hang in there!

Beagle - that is good that you are not getting worried. Best to have a carefree stance on things, since it sounds like this may be normal. Sorry you're feeling so achey at the end of the day. When I was feeling crummy (when I THOUGHT I was pregnant, hehe), my hubby was so sweet, he filled this little tub with warm water and bubbles for my feet to soak in. It felt awesome since I couldn't take a hot bath. Maybe try that at the end of the day.

Terri - how did the trigger go?

Kfs - argh! Sorry you have to wait so long to bd! I would be frustrated too (and DH most certainly)!

Afm, my appointment went okay. I almost burst into tears in the doctors office. She's so breezy about things, she's like, "sorry it didn't work, blah blah blah. Let's wait until your period comes naturally, then start on BC for 2-4 weeks, then Lupron for a couple weeks, then we can schedule the transfer." When I saw that timeline I just felt so defeated. I wanted to start crying. I'm so sick of the stupid calendar and the waiting. And it annoys the crap out of me that every time I see her, she's like, "what meds did you take again? Who is your nurse that you're working with? Do you have regular periods?" She even asked me how many embryos we have left. I'm like, 'do you even remember anything about me?!' It just feels so impersonal. I know she's a little older (like maybe late 50's), and she's got a lot on her plate, but it's frustrating that this means SO MUCH to us and she acts like she has no idea who we are or what the hell is going on. She'd emailed me earlier about a non-medicated cycle, then when we met she didn't mention anything about it. Sounds like it will be medicated again (which is good).

I asked her about PGS. And man, am I glad I did. I am also a little annoyed that they never mentioned it as an option. If I wasn't on this board, I would've never known to ask. She's like, "well, statistically, its the same result, whether you transfer an abnormal embryo or throw it away." I'm thinking, well yes, statistically it is, but then at least I can avoid the false hope and then heartbreak when I get a BFN. Which, again, is a big deal to me (maybe not to them!). So, they are looking into cost and insurance coverage for us. Cost is around $5k, so the question will be if insurance will cover it. For those who have insurance coverage, was your PGS covered? DH will not go for it if its not covered. :/

Anyways, my aunt also passed away yesterday, not sure if I'd mentioned it already. She has been struggling with ALS for the past year, and the disease just took over her body and they took her off life support yesterday. We were not close, and honestly she was an alcoholic/drug addict and the black sheep of the family. But still, it is sad to see someone you've known your entire life die. She was only about 50. My mom is the oldest of 5 siblings, and this was her baby sister. No matter what questionable things she's done in her lifetime I know its really been hard on my mom. Thinking about her really does put things into perspective. It makes the infertility stuff seem a lot less important. I am so thankful for my health and my DH and other family's health!

 

[beaglemom]

Lady - so sorry about your aunt & your dr. I know about the calendar...I had my fair share of delays as well...and each one felt heartbreaking. But I knew it was best. As far as PGS, it upsets me most drs don't talk about it. I guess statistics are the same, but we potentially saved so much money by not doing useless FETS. Plus it assured us on a better shot at a singleton vs twins. I don't why you have to wait...I went straight in to my FET after retrieval. Good luck...it will all work out.

 

[LadySosa]

She wants to wait because I don't have regular periods, and she doesn't want to start everything mid cycle. So they'll wait for the start of the next one. Which also annoys me, because if I was able to be seen sooner they could have caught it on the beginning of this cycle.

I agree on it being annoying re: not talking about PGS. She said they don't usually bring it up unless you are older than 35 or so, or have had multiple failures or miscarriages. But I'm all for something that will increase my chances of success, regardless of my age or how many tries.

 

[beaglemom]

She wants to wait because I don't have regular periods, and she doesn't want to start everything mid cycle. So they'll wait for the start of the next one. Which also annoys me, because if I was able to be seen sooner they could have caught it on the beginning of this cycle.

I agree on it being annoying re: not talking about PGS. She said they don't usually bring it up unless you are older than 35 or so, or have had multiple failures or miscarriages. But I'm all for something that will increase my chances of success, regardless of my age or how many tries.

We saw no down side. Considering an FET cycle costs us about $5K including meds, we were all for it working the first time. I would have saved so much money if I could have done a fresh...but my damn progesterone went up. But it all worked out. I know the wait hurts. I look at it as you were not meant to have a fall baby...but a Spring baby

 

[ERosePW]

LadySosa, first off, I'm sorry about your aunt. It is sad, even when you're not close, to see a relative pass away.

I'm sorry your appt was so frustrating. I did have to wait for AF to come before my FETs, but I'm not sure the reason, other than the fact that my follow-ups after failed cycles were usually cutting it close to starting the meds on time for the next cycle. Oh, and the second one was because they wanted to take a look inside my uterus to make sure no visible issues that would affect implantation. That held things up too. I know how frustrating it is when you're so ready to get started.

As for insurance and PGS, I know the lab that my RE uses doesn't bill insurance because they want payment up front. So I did pay up front out of pocket, but I also called my insurance company and gave them the CPT codes and asked if any of it was covered at all. They are going to cover some of it, but I still don't know how much (maybe reasonable and customary, not real sure). I went ahead and submitted a reimbursement request to my insurance co, and am still waiting to find out. Even though I had it done in Dec, I was lazy about submitting the claim until February! Yikes. Anyway, if I were you, I'd call up your insurance company and just ask them (I can send you the CPT codes that my lab used if that would help).

 

[ERosePW]

Well I figured out how to fix my ticker, so I'm good to go now. When I went in to change it, I discovered that my original due date was actually 8/27, so it does all line up now and the six day gap is filled since new due date is 8/21. Six days ahead of schedule seems like a lot. I have a feeling I'm going to have a big baby in there. Which is a little scary, because I'm really small. LOL

 

[jkb11]

Lady- sorry you lost your aunt hope your mother finds comfort during this hard time. Insurance covered about half of the cost of my Pgs, originally they said they would cover all. I Have been bad and not followed up on it:/ my dr explained it to me that if she wrote insurance that it was for medical necessity and not just us wanting it that they will sometimes cover it. I wonder if your dr could do the same since you had 45 eggs retrieved and only 4 embryos to freeze.

Erin that's great that he's growing so well! I think with my son I was around 20 weeks I have read with second child you feel sooner so we will see. I'm so ready!

 

[jkb11]

Erin I meant to say... I agree! It's crazy how the dates flunctuate when we know the transfer time down to the minute! 6days ahead is insane your little man has been ready to go from the beginning! I remember your hot being very positive early on!

 

[moni77]

ugh lost my post... lets see if I can recreate.

Terri - yay for tomorrows retrieval - hope all goes smoothly. Will be checking in for updates!

Lady - sorry about the aunt and your dr appointment. It would frustrate me SOOO much if I had to constantly repeat myself every appointment. Luckily my docs have always read the notes before coming into the room with me and don't tend to reask basic questions.

We will be vaccinated - mainly for the reasons you all have stated. We will not however be circumcising. Hubby is not and is really against it. I was indifferent so left it up to him. He can show him how to take care of it later in life...that's what dads are for right!

Other than a few sporadic movements I didn't really start to feel anything regularly until about 22-23 weeks. My placenta is on my stomach though and he tends to face my back so I think a lot of movement has been muted by those facts. That and I wasn't sure what to be looking for in terms of movement. For me I feel less "kicks and punches" and more just general shifting of space. Once I stopped trying to feel kicks I realized I prob had been feeling him a lot longer but just didn't realize it.

HI to all!! Sorry if I missed any other questions...I blame the pregnancy brain!!!

 

[moni77]

ahh - I remembered something else. For maternity clothes - I got the full panel pants and have been wearing the same stuff since I bought them at about 8-9 weeks with no issues. I think if they are falling down - you might have been given a size too big - try on the size smaller. I bought most of my stuff at Macy's which carries Motherhood Maternity. I think I spent $300 total and I have some clothes that I will continue to wear after big boy is born. Once I figured out the correct size, I stopped trying things on and just grabbed and bought (and returned later if didn't look right.)

 

[sars930]

Thanks for the good wishes lady. It's going to be a rough few weeks. The layoffs aren't immediate and we have no idea what comes next. But it's just really not a good time for me to try to find a new job. So, I'm thinking I'm going to have to stick it out. I had recently had an opportunity at an amazing job but it would be part-time, which I can't do currently. The job DH is applying for would be a nice pay bump. I was joking then I could quit and take that job =)

KFS: Sorry about no BDing but yay for your U/S. That's a long, long time. We re-orged last April and some folks were spun off into jobs with the new company. While we were a new organization, those that stayed in our local office experienced very little job change. Fast forward to yesterday, they are having us join another group now (why they didn't do this last year is beyond me) and I got an offer from the new company. I have 7 days to accept. It is basically the same job, same pay etc.

I've worked here for 9 years and count my coworkers as some of my closest friends. We really are like a family and we're losing people that have been there since before I was born. It just sucks.

Erin: Glad your reorganization is going to be a good thing for you! Your little man is growing so fast. I hope for your sake he doesn't get too, too big. My SIL is 4"11 and my niece was almost 10 pounds, resulting in a very difficult and damaging delivery. She opted for an elective c-section with my nephew, who turned out to be small of course =)

JKB: I've heard 20 weeks is pretty standard for a first pregnancy. A week ago I was woken up by a weird fluttering feeling but I think it was just a coincidence as I'm almost only 11 weeks.

Beagle, Sorry to hear about the spotting. I'm sure it is stressful. My doctor warned it could happen after the pap. I definitely notice if I haven't had enough water. I've been getting headaches if I don't.

Lady: So sorry to hear things didn't go as well as you hoped. Do you feel comfortable staying with this doctor? Being comfortable and relaxed is such a huge thing. I brought PGS up with my doctor and got the same response. I think JKB is on to something with seeing if your doc will say it's for medical necessity.

Terri: Thinking of you today! Hope all goes well.

All of this work unrest has me very unmotivated today. I'm meeting with my HR director tomorrow to discuss maternity leave stuff I have to do. My next doctor appointment isn't until April 8, that's my sequential screening and evaluation at the perinatal center to see if they'll want to see me. Then I have my next OB appointment 4/13 so I'll get to see the little one in quick succession.

 

[sars930]

Moni: That's a thought that they might be too big. At this point I feel like I sometimes just look like I ate a large meal and other times pretty normal. I'll wait a little longer to see if they fit. They're free so no harm. Glad you're doing well.

Oh and Lady, I'm sorry I forgot to say I'm sorry about your aunt. ALS is an awful disease. I hope your mom is hanging in there!

 

[terripeachy]

LadySosa-Sorry to hear about your aunt. even though she had her problems, she is still your relative, and obviously, your mom's sister, so it's hard losing a person that you have known all your life. And your doctor is terrible. How does she not know the basics...what happened, why are you there for a consultation, etc..at least my doctor had some ideas. My insurance doesn't cover PGS/PGD, but I was able to pay with my HSA so that made me feel better about doing it, plus, I'm old and have had two failures. It was the obvious choice to me. Oh and the trigger shot was fine. Not traumatic at all anymore at this point.

sars-Sorry about the layoffs. I agree with kfs, that if you can take your time and mull things over for a bit, I would do it. you don't want to lose that fmla. Funny how our priorities shift once children are involved. I also feel really sad on layoff days around here, but the good thing at my place is that they usually lay off the people that have been working here forever and they end up getting a good severance package (2 weeks for every year employed+ the ability to collect unemployment too), so the negative turns into a positive for them. But overall, layoffs make me not want to work hard because I could be gone any minute and none of it matters that much.

kfs1-Sorry you couldn't get a good look at your munchkin, but for team yellow, perhaps that's a good thing. And sorry you can't BD either. Ugh..

beagle-Hope the spotting stays away for you. Glad you are not freaking out too much about it. I am also glad you at least called the doctor to let them know what was going on.

ERose-Glad you get to go back to your other company. Woohoo!! I hope you can continue to be a happy camper over there.

jkb-thanks for letting me vent. I can't really help you with the other stuff, but I hope you feel movement soon!

 

[beaglemom]

beagle, i'm so sorry for the spotting and all the other discomfort. With the doppler, did you try putting it super, super low? My little guy is very low... I have a very faint scar from uterine surgery 4 years ago, and it's well below the bikini line, and if i put my doppler on that scar, that's when I get the heartbeat. When the nurse does it at my OB's office, she always initially places it about an inch higher, and i always have to tell her to go lower. Just that inch makes all the difference. Maybe that would work for ya'. Its still early for you, so it could just be that you need another week or so, but you could try it.

jkb, I haven't started feeling my little dude yet, but the ultrasound tech at my OB's office said since it's my first pregnancy, I may not feel him until around 20 weeks. The nurse seemed to think between 18-20. My little sister is on her second pregnancy, and she felt this one at 16 weeks, but her first pregnancy she didn't feel until 20 weeks. I'm ready now too!! I can't wait to feel him! Hehe!

kfs, so glad the appt went well yesterday. I had to giggle that your LO would only show his/her butt, haha! That is TOO cute. Sorry about the no BD'ing though.

sars, so sorry about all the icky job stuff going on. There's nothing worse than feeling unsettled or indecisive about a job decision. My company is getting ready to split as well, but its actually a good thing. I work in Legal at a software company. Ten years ago, the company I worked for merged with another software giant, and it was a dumb move. Ten years later, they're figuring that out! I just found out that I'll be going with the company I originally worked for, and that's good news in my book, because we were all happy campers in those days. I hope you guys figure everything out and can feel good about it!

Well, terri, sounds like a great plan to me!! I really think your embies will make it to freeze, but great idea to start the meds anyway, just in case! Do you feel a little better about everything?

AFM, I saw my OB yesterday. They never really discussed my last u/s results w/ me, but yesterday they mentioned that the baby had measured even more ahead of schedule than he originally was. She surprised me by saying that yesterday was 18 wks 5 days. What the heck?? I told her, no, I'm only 17 wks 6 days. But she said nope. They've moved my due date up yet another day to 8/21, but that wouldn't account for ALL those days that my ticker is off. What i think happened is that I never adjusted my weeks on my ticker to account for my first due date change. Technically if I went by day of transfer, he would've been due 8/25. Since he was growing 3 days ahead in the beginning, they made it 8/22. And now he's growing even more ahead, so they've moved it to 8/21. So crazy! If we had gotten pregnant naturally, I would be thinking my ovulation date was wrong or something. So weird. So anyway, surprise for me, I'm now considered 18wks 6days as of today. Not sure how to change my ticker...

I missed this whole post. I do try very low at first. But nothing. I do get the womb sounds though but I can def tell it is not his heart beat...not fast enough. But yeh I am still early.

The spotting is pretty much gone. It had to be the pap. And as I am thinking this out, the consistancy was similar to if I had been irritated after sex. So I feel okay...my stomach is still tender feeling. I just think it is growing & the beginning of the uncomfortable stuff. I really hope the middle is easy going. I feel grateful I have not had too rough a time of it. But I also feel like I have not done things the way I wanted. I wanted to be eating to healthy & be active. Sometimes I feel failed. But I keep thinking whatever, I am growing a life so I should ease up on myself. I was good today. Ate a huge grilled chicken salad from my favorite place. So I am stuffed. Keeping up on my water...but it makes me feel gross & full which does not help my belly. I asked my husband to buy me some watermelon. I want something I can eat/drink to help instead of guzzling water all day.

 

[booger76]

Hi ladies!

Terri - Hooray for retrieval tomorrow!! I've got all my fingers and toes crossed that you get lots of good eggies. You deserve success!!! I forgot to say, I'm sorry you have to get rid of Fun. He is going to miss you guys, too! I have been hesitant to foster because I'm pretty sure I could never give a dog back! You are super strong - and I'm so glad there are people willing to do it because there is obviously the need. My neighbors are foster dog parents. It's kind of fun to see all the different dogs they end up with. And we'll add Terripeachy to the list of baby names!!

sars - That must be very difficult and stressful to deal with layoffs at work. I'm glad you got to stay but I can only imagine how difficult it must be to watch others get let go - especially if they are friends or good workers.

moni - Use the pregnancy brain excuse while you still can!!

Erin - Wow! You are cooking up a big boy in there. I guess being ahead is better than being behind. Do they have any ideas as to why he is so far ahead??

Beagle - Even though I know you said you aren't worried, it's hard not to get a little bit concerned when there's spotting. (So don't feel bad if you are a little bit worried.) It sounds like it was just from the pap so hopefully it's done soon. That's interesting that your tender belly is from a lack of water. I normally drink a gallon of water a day but since the nausea has settled in, water is the hardest thing for me to drink. It's really a struggle because it sits in my stomach like lead. Guess I'll just have to tough it out to make sure I stay hydrated.

Lady - Sorry to hear about your aunt. And I'm also sorry to hear that your doctor wasn't so helpful. I think they forget that we are actual people with feelings and not just a number or problem to be solved. We did PGS and had no coverage. I do feel it was worth it, though. We had 6 blastocysts and of those, 3 were normal. My nurse told me that there would be no way to know which ones were abnormal just by looking at them. Since we only wanted to transfer 1 embryo, we could have wasted lots of time and money waiting to pick the right one.

jkb - Maybe my next one will be a boy! We do have one waiting for us on ice. We'll see how this first one goes.

kfs - Sorry baby wasn't cooperating and just intent on mooning you guys. I hope your placenta previa fixes itself soon! I'm glad I'm not the only one who gets overwhelmed by all the choices out there. It seems a bit ridiculous sometimes.

Amy I'm sorry your grandfather had to deal with polio. I think that is what infuriates me the most when people don't vaccinate when they can - it seems like disregard for the health and well-being of anyone else around them. How are you feeling???

Someone asked if we were excited about having a girl......and the answer is yes. I feel very fortunate that neither I or DH had strong preference either way. But when I saw it was girl under that post-it note, I do think my heart lit up! I will say that I am hoping for a tomboy (I hope that doesn't sound terrible). I was a tomboy growing up and since both of us love being outside so much, I just can't imagine not making mudpies and digging for worms. Which I'm sure means I'm destined to have a girlie girl. Bless her heart if that's the case - I can barely style my own hair.

 

[Babywhisperer]

Trying to catch up here, Hi Moni hope you're feeling good.

Terri, yeah for 1 less day of suspense. Sorry about the Ganirelix, but you were smart only to get 2.

Sars, I am sorry about thw rok stress and lay offs. I have been there a few times and it's never easy. My $.02 is don't make any rash decisions, you have security there as a protected class, see what happens.

Beagle, I had round ligament pains that almost felt like a tender appendix, it will get better. Don't worry too much about the brown cm, sometimes we have a little spotting around the time af was due if we had not gotten our bfp.

Kfs, the placenta will shift, it's still very early. Mine is low and close to the cervix, my ob said they don't even look at the location until 32 weeks and it moves a lot as the pregnancy rises.

Lady, I am so sorry about your Aunt. When it rains it pours, it's a lot of emotional upheaval all at once. Take it day by day, it will be here before you know it.

Erin, sounds like you have a little overachiever in there! I have been moved 3 days earlier with both pregnancies.

Jkb, I hope you are feeling good and no more clots! I felt jack 1st around 18-20 weeks, this time much earlier. If the placenta is in the front it makes it harder to feel baby, but don't worry all is fine.

Afm, I will have to update later...been having a sore throat and swollen glands off and on this week and I swear I haven't had this since I was in high school. Lots of crap going on personally and professionally. I'm being sensitive so best not to elaborate until I snap out of it. Dh says I have a fine sense of propriety and obligation and it upsets me when others don't. I'm just have some acute stress this week, and not sleeping...swollen glads probably from not getting enough Zzzzzs, but I am getting up 4 times a night to pee and the last usually 4:15-5 and my alarm goes off at 6, so not really falling back to sleep deeply.

Anyway it's almost Friday!!!!

 

[kfs1]

Terri - Good luck today!!!!!!! Thinking of you.

 

[jkb11]

Terri- can't wait for your update! Good luck!! Prayers for you!

Baby w - sorry you're having a hard time and not feeling well. Hope today is a better day!

 

[beaglemom]

Terri when is retrieval? Good luck!

My spotting is gone...pretty much can say now it was the pap. Still tender but I think it is me stretching. My husband called & said the block open for vacation was even smaller. I was so upset I had to hang up. We go to a place in the mountains every year & it is booking up fast. So only a week in May & April available. April is out because another girl on vacation here...not a def, but pretty sure. May was supposed to be cut off. So I took a breath (I was crying I was so upset). Then looked again at the calendar. My husband counted wrong...so the week in May was possible. I called him & told him...he kept insisting. I said Memorial starts week one of 12 weeks until possession of his store. After saying no 3 times...I said ok look at the calendar...started counting...automatically saw where he was messing up. So he requested the week & I booked it. We are for sure yet, but I have time to cancel if I need to...but it was the only cabin left so I had to jump at it. I feel so much better know. I couldn't bear thinking no getaway before the baby comes. We usually go Labor Day but he opens that week...so no way on that...then the baby will be here shortly after.

 

[booger76]

Good luck today, Terri!!!