First time IVF - Started Lupron last Thurs - Would Love some Buddies

[terripeachy]

I am super chatty today. I was on a TWW thread, and after 3000 posts (or whatever), they moved it to ttc groups and discussions even though most of them had their babies (except me and another girl). Waaahh...hee hee. that was kind of messed up, but I think they eventually they will probably move this one too, but I'm fine hanging here. There is one group (at least) on the pregnancy board called from Assisted conception to Delivering Babies or something like that. I haven't stalked it at all because you guys are all I know through IVF. Currently, I'm only stalking the December 2015 ladies.

So yes, tomorrow is my first u/s, and I did finally get in touch with the nurse and she said that the high risk doctor that everyone keeps referring me to is the one that they recommend. There are two doctors at the practice and either are fine. Check that off the list.

My husband joined a softball league (because he has tons of $$ to spend on cleats, a league, a baseball hat, etc...), and yesterday was the first game. He hurt his hamstring. Hopefully he'll still be able to play in the coming weeks, but seriously! You hurt your leg on day one!? hee hee. He is getting a little better, but whatever. I can't be worried about his emotions right now. It's all about me. AND...our state taxes just came in today and the deposit for Mexico is due on Friday, so he's going to Mexico! hee hee. I was so ready to book without him, but I guess he can come along. Good thing those state taxes showed up. I took the federal and paid for IVF, he got to use the state as his money.

And last but not least, the SPCA is running a sale where all adult dogs over 25 pounds (there are so many pit bulls and big dogs in the shelter) are having their adoption fees waived until Saturday. I asked if Fun would fall into the category and the foster lady said yes! He would only cost $20 bucks for Pet ID and microchipping. So....if my interested coworker doesn't want to adopt him, I think we'll just do it. For $20 I think Fun can find his furever home right at our house.

 

[LadySosa]

Awe that's so cool Terri! I hope you end up with Fun. And I am soo excited for tomorrow!!

Erin - 100% STD is an excellent benefit plan! They typically want to make it less (60-70%) to encourage people to get back to work. My company, and many companies allow you to "top up" - so you can use PTO or whatever for the other 30-40% pay during STD, so that way you receive 100% of your pay. We just rolled out a New Parent Leave a few months ago that pays for 4 weeks of pay (at 100%!)! And this is in addition to STD and sick time, etc. That is pretty good. My last company had 2 weeks, and I thought that was good. Although in other countries they give you like months and months! Haha. Oh, and allowing for six months off is also very generous of your company Erin! I'm impressed. Have you been with your company for a long time?

 

[sars930]

Oh Terri! That's so awesome if Fun finds his forever home with you and you have a baby this year!! Wahooo! I'm so psyched for your ultrasound.

Erin, I too haven't had any nausea at all. Let's hope Terri is lucky like us.

Thanks for sharing your leave policies. I'd have a lot more sympathy for my HR lady if she wasn't already in charge of HR for our new company. She is a co-manage of HR for over 1,000 employees. She should know what the maternity leave policy is.

We are a subsidiary, really just on paper, so the move is keeping all of our benefits etc. the same. The only change should be our PTO cash out. We are still owned by the same people etc.

My company offers no paid leave but they did start offering us STD. Previously, we had to pay for STD. The HR lady told me for almost two months I would have six weeks at 100 percent of my salary and the remaining 6 weeks at 60% of my salary. If I wanted to use my PTO to get paid my full salary, as opposed to 60%, that was up to me. I have 25 days PTO.

My plan was to do a mix. My family has this trip to Italy in June that I've mentioned and we wanted to go. So, we thought I'd use 5-8 days for that depending on flights etc. and have the remainder to put towards making my FMLA paid.

While HR didn't give me an option to extend beyond the 12 weeks, my boss is awesome and super family friendly and I knew that might be an option. So, I also was considering using the 12 weeks of STD and then taking 3-4 weeks of PTO.

I then get an email from her April 10 saying "Oops my mistake! You only get 6 weeks of STD at 100 percent." This is after I asked her on four different occasions if she was sure I had 12 weeks of STD for maternity leave since that is not the norm.

And thennnn I found out they are cashing out all of our vacation on May 1 and I believe we are starting back up earning our PTO again. She knows what the policy is. She told me she knows but won't tell me. Told me I have to wait for a yet to be scheduled meeting.

She has no HR experience. She used to be the assistant to our publisher.

When I went to her to discuss my maternity leave, she actually mentioned that one of my coworkers was also pregnant. Didn't tell me who but said I might already know, I think she thought so as the woman is a good friend of mine. She said the same thing to my coworker.

I'm fairly certain I could get her fired. Not that I'm going to. I actually like her as a person. I just think she is ill equipped for the job she's now been doing for 2 years. Her boss is actually competent but every time I go to her she loops the other lady in on the conversation and refers me to her.

My boss is now on it for me because I'm ready to tear my hair out. I need to make a decision ASAP as to whether or not we are taking a trip in June. It is almost May 1. I think it is reasonable that we should have this information.

 

[LadySosa]

Ohh that is annoying. Sorry Sars. I would be tearing my hair out too. And to divulge something personal like that to another employee? HR 101 - that is a no-no! In my previous company we got a new boss - Director of HR, who had NO HR experience. She was an attorney. It drove me crazy to report to someone who didn't know what the heck she was doing. She knew employment law like the back of her hand, but would approach every situation with the perspective of - "is this legal?" If yes, she had no problem with it. It drove me batty because we had to consider morale too, not just the legality of things. Anyways, I'm glad your boss is in your court. That's half the battle right there.

Oh, and I forgot to say, DON'T LEAVE ME YOU GUYS! Haha. If y'all go to a pregnancy forum I would be really sad. I enjoy hearing about the fun pregnancy stuff, even though I'm not there yet.

 

[beaglemom]

I think my husband has 100% STD. But he is salaried management...makes a difference in his company. I think my company offers a STD insurance to cover the remaining portion, but not sure. And of course if it were an injury we can opt to invest in LTD.

Terri - very awesome about Fun. Sometimes we fail as fosters...I did

 

[beaglemom]

Erin - that is awesome about the 6 months. I could never do that...I would never want to come back!

 

[ERosePW]

terri, that is so great that you might adopt Fun!! That was great news to read, I love hearing when a dog gets his/her forever home! Awe, I just love that! Sorry to hear about DH. If you remember correctly, I wasn't too far along when my DH broke his arm on his four-wheeler, LOL.

Lady, we won't leave you! I remember going through all three of my transfers and just loving seeing the success stories on the thread, and I love hearing how everyone is doing, no matter what their status! Yes, I've been with my company for a long time. I worked here for 3 yrs, then left for 3 yrs, and I've been back for 10 yrs. So I've given them a total of 13 yrs.

beagle, you'll be proud... I finally got started on my nursery, haha. Almost 23 weeks, and finally just now getting on it!

I was still having a hard time deciding between either gray or dark wood for the furniture, and in the end I decided to go with the dark wood. This is the only pic I have of the crib, but the color will be an espresso cherry. I did order the changing table too. No dresser though, because we already have a dresser that we'd like to use. The color I chose for the walls is a smokey blue (I'll try to attach here). So DH will start painting while i'm out of town starting next Thurs. The furniture should arrive next Wed or so. I'm hoping to find gray bedding, so that I'll still get my gray fix. A few other gray accents here and there too...I already bought some storage cubes made out of a gray material.

 

[sars930]

Erin, I really like that shade of blue. It's really pretty. You still have plenty of time!

I thought you guys might appreciate this article. Apparently it is National Infertility Awareness Week: https://www.huffingtonpost.com/2015...1678.html?ir=Women&ncid=fcbklnkushpmg00000046

 

[terripeachy]

ERose-I like the blue and the crib and the gray/grey theme as well. It's going to be great. Where are you going? Six months is great. I wonder if I would take off six months. hmmm..hee hee.

sars-Thanks for the article. Someone on one of my other threads posted a Pandora commercial with kids recognizing their mothers by touch. I think there were probably some shots of Pandora stuff, but I almost started crying while watching it, and wasn't paying attention to any of the jewelry. Let's see if I can find the link. https://youtu.be/DRoqk_z2Lgg OK..that should work, but get your tissues out ladies!

 

[KrissyB]

Terri - Can't wait to see some scan pics tomorrow! So exciting And you're an early (furry) addition to the family to boot! I'm a dog person through and through. I misssed the earlier posts - what kind of dog is Fun?

ERose - I love the blue - it's so vibrant without being loud! Are you going with any kind of themed decorations? For some reason that blue and the grey combo makes me think of a stary skies

 

[terripeachy]

He is a brindle, pit bull mix. He broke his leg at 3 months and his family couldn't afford the medical bills, so they surrendered him. I've been watching him for the past two months, but he has been in foster pretty much all of his life. He's about 9 months old now, and such a great dog (minus a little submissive urination when my husband comes home). So, my coworker is going to hang with him this weekend to see if Fun will fit into his lifestyle and if not, then we'll probably just adopt him.

 

[beaglemom]

Erin - I love the colors. Our stuff sort of went to a stand still. But my husband is off all next week & plans to finish it up. I was also considering grey but went with a light natural wood.

Terri - I am not watching your video. I cry at a lot of stuff lately. I cried at something really stupid the other day...if I can remember I will tell you.

Infertility Awareness Week has been all over Instagram.

 

[terripeachy]

Beagle-Well, if you want to cry, it's there for you. hee hee. I'm not a big crier, and I was tearing up. It's just a really nice video. There's no one like your mom, that's for sure. I don't use Instagram. HA!!HA!!

 

[beaglemom]

Beagle-Well, if you want to cry, it's there for you. hee hee. I'm not a big crier, and I was tearing up. It's just a really nice video. There's no one like your mom, that's for sure. I don't use Instagram. HA!!HA!!

My husband is an IG junkie. I wasn't...but then decided to do it as a pregnancy journal. And I meet a lot of cool people going through the same thing. You should look me up if you ever decide to use it.

 

[sars930]

I use Instagram but I basically follow my friends so none of them are posting about infertility.

 

[ERosePW]

terri, I'm going to my hometown in KY for a week. I don't remember the last time I got up there for a whole week. I was supposed to at Xmas, but DH broke his arm the day before we were supposed to leave and needed surgery, so it delayed our trip. By the time we got up there, it was the night before Xmas Eve, so the rest of the trip was all family, and I didn't get to see a single one of my friends. My 3 girlfriends up there are like sisters to me, so it sucked being so rushed and not getting to see them. SO, I decided to make this trip without DH. Since he owns his business, its harder for him to get away for a week at a time than it is for me. I figured I could just fly up there this time, be nice and leisurely by myself, and take my time seeing everyone I need to. As for the 6-months off work.... it sounded good at first, and we considered doing it and saving up for the half that wouldn't be paid. But the more I thought about it, the more I figured nah... I think after 3 months, I'll be about ready to go ahead and get him started on what will be our weekday routine for a long time to come. I could be wrong though... I might cry like a baby the first day I drop him off, and end up extending my leave! I guess we don't really know for sure until we're mommies with babies in our arms, huh?

beagle, I was actually wondering why we hadn't seen pics of the final product yet! Now I know, because you guys took a little break finishing up. Well, at least he's getting started on it again next week. It'll be done before you know it!

sars, thanks for the link! I didn't know it was NIAW! Sometimes I read stuff like that, and I can't help but get teary-eyed thinking about my journey and how emotional it is for everyone still going through it. I wish I knew more people in my non-virtual life who'd been through it, but almost everyone I know has gotten prego super easy! My sis has a friend who did IVF, but she moved away, and while my sis keeps in touch with her, I don't ever have any reason to see her. IVF didn't work for her, so she adopted. And then ten years later, as she was in the process of adopting her second child (and turning 40), she got prego totally by surprise!

Krissy, I don't think I'm doing any theme in there, although I suppose that could change if I see some bedding I love that I didn't expect to find. But your thoughts about the starry skies does sound nice! You are right it would be very pretty with those colors. We'll see what pops up, but at the moment, I'm hoping to find solid gray, or maybe gray/white stripes. If I don't find anything like that though, then maybe the starry skies will be my next search. Thanks for the suggestion!

 

[sars930]

Erin, That sounds like a wonderful trip! I'm only an hour from home but weekends back there are a whirlwind of trying to squeeze everyone in. I hope you have a lovely time.

Prior to our infertility struggle, I really didn't know anyone. Everyone got pregnant right away out of my good friends. But then I discovered a sorority sister blogging. And learned my SIL and my husband's cousin. More people are dealing with it than I think we realize.

Land of Nod has some grey striped sheets: https://www.landofnod.com/not-a-peep-crib-fitted-sheet-grey-stripe/f11082

And my girlfriend is an astronomy nerd and she's using this star themed set: https://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=37588206&cp=&parentPage=search

 

[jkb11]

Will catch up more later, it has been a busy week. Just wanted to say good luck Terri!! Can't wait to hear your report

 

[kfs1]

Terri - That's so great that you might be adopting Fun!! I know you love him so much and now you'll have TWO new additions to your family this year. I'll be stalking the boards this evening to hear about your appt! Can't wait!

eRose - Yay for a great scan yesterday. Question about the 3D scans - is this something that's typically offered or do you have to ask? They haven't mentioned anything to me so I'm curious. Oh - and I love the blue color of the nursery! Your crib looks very similar to mine.

Krissy - I want to say that they retrieved 17 and that dwindled down to 3 strong embryos and 1 so-so by retrieval day which was day 5 for me. They put 2 back in and put the 1 strong and 1 so-so in the freezer. Both tried to implant but only 1 survived. Also, like Beagle said, my husband was also taking Fertilaid vitamins and they definitely seemed to improve his quality and count.

Sars - That is SO frustrating about your maternity leave. It's so hard to plan when you don't know how much you'll be paid and how much time you'll be able to take off. Grrrr. I hope they get their act together soon. And I can't believe she told you such private information about another co-worker!

LadySosa - We'd never leave you, girl! We're in this with you to the end!

I get 6-8 weeks STD (paid at 100%) - 8 weeks typically only if you get a c-section. Then 2 weeks of illness leave (paid at 100%). And then I'll hopefully use 1 week of sick and 3 weeks vacation. (But I do want some time off around the holidays.) And finally I might take 4-5 weeks unpaid but we'll see how it goes. Technically, I think I'm only allowed 12 weeks but I know some of the managers here typically let you go over.

My appointment went great yesterday. Baby's measuring right on target at 1 pound, 14 ounces. Fluids looked good and my placenta moved so no more placenta previa! I was very happy to hear but not surprised as they seemed confident that it would. I had the meaner ultrasound technician so no new picture and I didn't really get to see much because she doesn't even turn the screen towards me. But oh well - as long as the baby's doing OK I'll live with it. Glucose test in 3 weeks and then another ultrasound the week after.

 

[beaglemom]

Erin - def check Target & Amazon for bedding...lots of choices especially for people who want to stay solid/no theme. We are doing monsters but it was sort of something we fell upon. We saw the bedding & loved it...but it was more boy. Then later they had it on clearance...but again not pregnant yet & so boy looking. Then the display bedding was super marked down so we just bought it...lucky for us I am having a boy. I figured I would put it on ebay if it was a girl. I think it was like $250 & I got it for around $60 or $70. Those bedding sets are super expensive in my opinion. I have some extra sheets on my registry.

Another reason I am doing all 12 weeks is because it is the holidays. So it would put me back at work right around the first of the year if he comes when expected.

kfs - sucked about your tech. I would be so mad to not have a pic. They should be more sensitive. My office has a room for the u/s & a huge big screen tv you can see so you don't have to twist to see the monitor. I love my office. It is all women. They warm up the speculums & the u/s jelly. I love it. Nothing cold on my body. They even try to make sure their hands are warm.

I really hope to be doing a nursery reveal for you guys soon. I just want to get my stuff organized. I can't even walk in to the guest room right now! It will just make me not feel so anxious about everything. I like being prepared.

So tonight is going to be busy. I want my dogs to have abath before driving to PA. And I want my house to be half way decent cleaning wise so we come home to a nice feeling & not all ugh...especially since I don't think we will be home until really late Sunday & I am headed in to work Monday morning. I also want to vacuum my car & pack it up tonight. My dogs get really panicked when they see us pack. So if I do it tonight, they will have plenty of time to relax before we leave tomorrow. They think we are leaving them. I will have about an hour tomorrow before I pick up my husband...but I hope to just be getting the dogs in the car & things like that...nothing major.