The new Gender Specific Hopefuls thread (2014)

[EmyDra]

It is my dream to be 'abandoned' in pregnancy, at least by the consultants!

But with a homebirth the midwives are generally the most interested and reassuring people, I've had an app at home and it was so relaxing. It's honestly the first time in all 3 pregnancies I felt like a caregiver 'got me' and generally wanted to help.

 

[kaths101]

Yes I think even though it's nice to have 2 extra scans, ignorance was bliss with George and I didn't panic, had a calm water birth, I wonder if I knew he was big whether it would have gone as well!!

I've also had two good quick births so really don't want to be induced either ( well not due to size anyway)

 

[caro103]

gosh I feel lucky that I'm yet to meet a consultant! fx'ed I never have to.
Think I'd decline induction for size too, unless they thought I have a 14lb'ed on board or something lol! (hopefully that won't happen to anyone!)

I was expecting bigger babies than I got though as I'm 5ft 9 and DH is 6ft 2. First DS was 8lb9 and second DS was 7lb11.5, totally thought he was going to be a girl though as he felt smaller and generally was calmer in the womb, , he is calmer and smaller than ds1 but def all boy!

 

[kaths101]

gosh I feel lucky that I'm yet to meet a consultant! fx'ed I never have to.
Think I'd decline induction for size too, unless they thought I have a 14lb'ed on board or something lol! (hopefully that won't happen to anyone!)

I was expecting bigger babies than I got though as I'm 5ft 9 and DH is 6ft 2. First DS was 8lb9 and second DS was 7lb11.5, totally thought he was going to be a girl though as he felt smaller and generally was calmer in the womb, , he is calmer and smaller than ds1 but def all boy!

Well you never know if my babies keep leaping up in size by 3lbs
I'm tall too 5ft 9 so I hide the big babies well. I have a long body!

 

[kaths101]

How is everyone doing?

Had a very strange moment tonight,OH and I decided on a boys name very suddenly and unexpectedly!! I never thought that would happen and now I really want my little boy with this name....eeeek. So if I now get a girl - will I be disappointed?? Hmm I'm rambling but it's all I have thought about tonight - another little boy!! Which I'm glad about
(Maybe it's because I'm thinking we are having a boy and I'm preparing myself mentally )

 

[katherinegrey]

Has anyone considered high tech to get a specific gender?
I'm loosely looking into it. My DH is now saying he'd love a daughter too, and I don't want us both to be disappointed if we decide on a third and it's boy number three. I know we'd get over it and love a third boy, but then I know we'd be tempted by four, and as pregnancy and birth is terrible for me, I'd much prefer to just guarantee a girl.
But then there's the risk of not falling pregnant at all with high tech and it's so very expensive as it's banned in the UK so we'd have to go elsewhere.
Anyone looked into it and have any info?

 

[caro103]

glad you've found a name Kath! possibly just protecting yourself, I'm sure you'll be fab whether its a boy or girl!

katherinegrey, I;ve not really looked into anything, would be tempted if it wasn't illegal here and therefore wouldn't cost a fortune, plus I'm not sure how I'd feel for me if it wasn't successful, and the childcare involved whilst it was done.

 

[EmyDra]

InGender is a good site for info about gender selection, I believe Cyprus is a common destination for it x

 

[MrsM17]

Yeah I looked into gender selection. The best in cyprus seems to be genesis, there is a terrible one calld Dogma or something that offers it on the cheap ie you wont get pregnant.

We decided it was too expensive and we would have to take a loan out for it, that is too much money for us to loose if it didnt work and people it seems mostly need 2 rounds from research I have done, of course it happens first time for some but you can't go into it expecting that to happen. I was told regardless of how easy you conceived naturally its a whole other ball game with IVF. Its all about your meds and eggs maturing good enough for collection etc.. then its again down to how well they grow before they are implanmted etc. At a rough cost of over 10K its not for us x

 

[katherinegrey]

Thank you, as I say right now it's very loosely looking into it and certainly not something I'm set on doing.
The cost is a huge factor for us. As we don't want another child for around five years, it'd take five years of solid saving, so if it didn't work first time I doubt I'd get another shot.
I also have poly cystic ovaries which I know can affect egg quality, which would obviously affect ivf chances.
If I knew it'd work first time I'd be a lot more tempted, but unless we have a huge lottery win and suddenly money becomes no object, I doubt it'll be for us.
Just wondering if anyone in here had done it and what the outcome was really

 

[motherofboys]

I've thought about it but the cost is just too high, with no guarantee of pregnancy. Not to mention it's not legal here which just adds to the difficulty of going through the process of I could afford it.
I use the gender dreaming website.
I'm still switching between thinking no way could I cope with another, ever, and needing to try again right now. We were offered a house with the council but in the wrong area and DH said no, so now we are at the bottom of the list and I can't see us moving in time to try. I'm not sure I could handle the disappointment again, but also keep thinking what if the next one was a girl.
One of my close friends recently found out she won't be able to have any more babies and I feel so awful for wanting more and being so concerned about gender, and if I do have another I'll feel bad telling her.

 

[motherofboys]

Another facebook friend with 4 boys having a girl. why does it happen for everyone else? I've dealt with so much shit in my life and I've not asked for a lot in return, all I wanted was 1 healthy baby girl of my own and I don't even deserve that.

 

[aimee-lou]

Aw hun, I don't think a hug is going to cut it but here's one anyway.

Everyone is different and who knows what the future will hold. I know it's so hard to just carry on regardless but I am trying to, as my tarot told me not long ago, 'Trust in the process of life'. I hope you feel better, I know how hard this is as I'm going through it myself.

 

[motherofboys]

I just can't seem to accept that we can't try again, I even started looking at gender selection, God knows why - just to torture myself probably - and was thinking I could be selfish, I could get a loan, I could start playing the lottery and if I won spend as much as I needed to on getting a girl. But honestly it wouldn't ever work. I'd need to be out of the country for 10-12 days and dh for 2 days, no one would take care of the boys, especially if they knew it was so we could have another baby!

 

[dollych]

Awww motherofboys big massive hugs for you xxx
I know how you feel, the Facebook updates are a gut wrencher !!. You never know what the future holds & hopefully things will turn round for you. Xx

 

[motherofboys]

I've said to dh how much it hurts and how unfair it feels and how I hate when people ask about us having another because I do want another and I wish we could try again for a girl, I half expected him to just say ok if that's how you feel we can try. I mean we were trying before and then stopped so it's not like he wasn't up for it 6 months ago. But I got nothing, a hug which didn't make me feel any better and that was it. Not a single word.
I deleted the Facebook app but now I've not had any messages all day and I have an on going group conversation with 2 friends who I've spoken to every day since November so it seems weird to not have any messages unless the messenger app doesn't work without the Facebook one. In which case I'm going to have to download it again and won't be able to stay off of it.

 

[aimee-lou]

Try just accessing FB via your browser on your phone? I do that as the FB made my phone so slow.

I'm sorry you're having such a hard time. I really do know how you feel. I'm having a good few days (I think it's due to hubby being home, eldest having chicken pox etc as I'm too busy) but there is an elephant in the room that will need to be addressed soon. I hope things start to get easier soon. Was there a 'timeframe' for TTCing or a max age gap you'd like for example that would maybe help you to think your way out of it a little. I think your hubby probably doesn't know what to say. If he's anything like mine he'll want to make you happy, but he knows he can't.

 

[caro103]

hun, I wish I could lend you the money and come look after your boys so you could go get the gender selection. I vaguely mentioned to my DH the other day about it and he looked at me like I had 2 heads, very frustrating in some ways and in others especially as we've only got 2 boys so far I see his point. FB is evil in some ways xx

 

[motherofboys]

Urgh my sister in law told me last year that the person her and dh work for asked her if she though dh and I would have any more and she said oh yes she wants a girl! I've never said that to her and dh swears he hasn't so she just assumed, then she came round saying she thought that the woman was going to put up the money to send us to have a girl. She is completely mental and misreads every situation anyway but I said to dh then it's not even legal here.
That's really sweet of you caro.
Originally I wanted to be done by 30 (I'll be 29 in July) but I was prepared to bend a bit on that when ds4 took so long to conceive (2.5 years) but I don't really want to have a newborn when dh is 50, he will be 47 in December.
You hear about people being on the waiting list for houses for years, I can't afford anything bigger privately rented in this area and dh won't move out of the area. So we are stuck here for now. We got lucky getting picked for a house the other week but he turned it down and now we are "not prioritised" so I can honestly see us still being here in 3 years. Also silly things like I liked the close age gap and I didn't want ds1 being in his teens (he is 9 now)

 

[EmyDra]

A friend on my list I recently discovered has 6 boys, I think that's the biggest single gender family I know.

I think I'm up for another one but I want to wait 4/5 years, I just need a break tbh. I've been breastfeeding solidly for 4.5 years and it'll be much longer by the time this one weans. I need to be able to have a couple of nights where I leave the kids somewhere and enjoy time with DH and occasional full nights sleep.
After I have had that for a bit I think I will decide if I want to give it up for another or just carry on. I don't feel we'll be missing another family member as such, but I'm up for a bonus baby, eldest would be 9ish so a very different experience.