Sticking Together Until We All Get BFP's!!!!

[Jrepp]

Here is the septum so that you guys can see what I am talking about.

 

[aidensmommy1]

Here is the septum so that you guys can see what I am talking about.

holy cow Jessica! I cant believe that! I am not a professional but I def agree with ur doc that that was ur issue! That is like ur entire uterus!!! Omgosh I feel sooo bad!

 

[Jrepp]

Yep. It was HUGE! They said there was only a small amount of endemotrium on the sides that the baby could have implanted on, but it was only connected at the top so they just cut it out and with the estrogen helping to heal my uterus and the balloon helping to prevent scar tissue from forming.....we should have no problems ttc again.

 

[Wishing1010]

Wow, the septum took over your whole uterus!!! This is going to be exactly what you needed, I can feel it. Eek! I can't wait until you guys start trying again, you will have a BFP by fall!!!!!

Oh and I'm Kenna btw ladies, I forgot to answer Amy Yesterday lol

Sounds like it could be promising, Mary!!! I sure hope your FRER does surprise you this morning! FX FX

AF is super bad this morning, I had to change my protection twice in the middle of the night cramps are very bad this morning, got my heating pad out and am trying to ease them at least a bit. I want to stay home today but I must go to the office so I'm going to drag my heating pad with me. The guys I work with all know my struggles with TTC, even that I was put on clomid and that it didn't work. We are like family and share everything! I love that I don't have to hide things from them and that I can tell my boss when I'm heartbroken about not being able to conceive. Gives me a nice outlet and I don't have to act fake when I'm at work.

Anyhow, lots of FX and for each of you ladies!!!!!! I know we will see more bfp's here soon!

 

[ab75]

Congratulations igrowbabies xx

 

[aidensmommy1]

Wrll my temp is still up higher so I tested and of course there's like a bubble or something wrong with the test that wont let it flow 100% through. I wish I peed in a cup now! The control line showed up and then the dye just stopped moving right after the control line so there's still a big white spot on the test and I could some what see a second line but since the test messed up, I'm betting it was a really nasty evap. I'm going to use a wondfo later and another frer tomorrow a.m. FX something good shows up

 

[Wishing1010]

Ooo FX FX FX!!!

 

[ab75]

Jrepp, hope you get lucky as soon as you can start trying again now that there is room for a baby xx

 

[aidensmommy1]

I'm like scared to test this cycle...its weird. Besides the fact that I spent money on that frer I used, I'm kinda happy it messed up so I didn't get a def bfn today lol. We'll see. My boobs hurt soooo bad!! Its not fair if I have to deal w this without being pregnant! I don't think I have cysts unless there's just a bunch of little ones that I cant feel...idk but I can barely touch them. If not pregnant, at least the pain will go away when AF comes. Darn progesterone!

 

[ab75]

I hope you get a SHBFP aidensmommy xx

 

[aidensmommy1]

 

[chelsealynnb]

Symptoms so far:

5-6DPO Really dull, AF type cramping and "heavy" feeling in lower abdomen
5DPO lower back pain
6DPO Really intense, vivid dream
6DPO Lots of white CM
7DPO feeling a little sick/dizzy/headache this morning

I wonder how much of this is all in my head

Only time will tell!

 

[Megamegan]

Chelsea- hope this is your cycle! How long have you been taking Clomid? Have you noticed these symptoms before?

Congrats to igrowbabies on your bfp!!!

Wishing- Sorry AF is being so rough, I hope she lightens up soon...

Aidensmommy- Your chart looks good!!! And I know what you mean about being kinda happy the test didn't work because you want to see two lines! I do have some hope for you this cycle given the fact that your chart is ALMOST looking Triphasic... Fx so hard!!!

AFM, cycle 7 is almost over. I'm getting to the point where I almost feel like quitting for a while. I'm not excited anymore, I'm depressed when testing time comes and all I see is BFN, and DH is sure we are healthy and thinks going to the doctor this soon isn't necessary (but he supports me if I decide to go)... I don't know what to do... I feel like I can't give up completely, but maybe it's for the best if I try to forget it for a while. Maybe it's a blessing in disguise... maybe there's a good reason I am not getting pregnant yet. And I realize it hasn't even been that long. But as you know, it always feels like a long time- even two months can feel like a long time, and at some point you reach a longer time and gain some perspective, but it doesn't take away from the fact that at two months you desperately wanted that baby and it was equally sad that it wasn't happening yet.

Sorry I am not in a happier mood. This continues to suck.

 

[Wishing1010]

I think we are all starting to feel this way, Megan. There's only so much you can take continuously, we all need a break once in a while. NTNP seems to be a good way to go for a while. I did decide to NOT temp this cycle. I don't want my alarm going off at 4:30 on my days off, then worrying about how my temp was. Sleeping in, as uninterrupted as possible!

I think if we all try to bd 3 times a week, we will all still have great odds.

 

[Megamegan]

Good plan. I think I will continue to temp for one more cycle because I just called and scheduled my next pap smear on May 12, which is 4 days before my next period, and I want to have the information about when I ovulated so that we can talk about options. If I am not positive on a test by then, most likely they will just want me to wait until my period comes (or not) before they do any further testing, but at least I'll be able to talk to the doctor about it and have some kind of further guidance. I know there's still a chance for a BFP this cycle too, but I'm definitely not getting my hopes up.

 

[aidensmommy1]

So it looks like all or almost all of us originals from all the way back in the Dec thread are now chiming down and relaxing a bit more with ttc starting next cycle. Its kinda weird we all got that feeling the same month..well I know Jessica and I are more so doing it because of her surgery and im doing it bcuz of my HSG results mostly but either way we are all getting a bit of a break in the meantime. I had the best dream that Megan, kenna, Jessica, and Amy, and one other person but I didn't catch the name but she was suppose to be one of u girls, i know that...anyways we were all at a restaurant eating and we all we talking and then I was like "I cant believe we are all able to be here in real life!" lol. Its weird that I dream of u girls. I guess it shows that u all truly are a huge part of my life now. I wish we really had each other in real life for some of these really hard times. It def looked like we had fun lol

 

[Megamegan]

Mary that's so funny because just this morning I was thinking, if you got your BFP I would want to meet up with you in real life and give you a huge hug!! I would be so excited for you and typing words wouldn't do it justice!! But for now that's what we do and I'm also so glad we can support each other

I'm feeling almost totally immobilized by this unknowing feeling, I hate it so much! I have so many emotions going through me. Anger for feeling immobilized. Sad, impatient, frustrated, stressed. I have so much to do, I have to go to work soon, but all I want to do is sleep until 2 pink lines appear on a pregnancy test. It shouldn't have this kind of power but it does.

 

[AmySan]

Holy cats Jess!! That is nuts!! No wonder there were issues!! You will definitely have no probs once you're all healed up!!

And Mary I have everything crossed for you!!

I am still not really feeling anything symptom wise...which i don't know if that is good or not, since every other cycle up until right before AF I swear I'm having symptoms, lol. Boobs are a little weird feeling, but nothing new at this time in cycle, after comparing to last few months.

I had a horrific night last night....I was at Mike's before he got home...and his laptop was open...He never leaves it open, but he is IT director so I thought maybe he was downloading something for work. Anyway, I went up, made the bed, put my jammies on...then came down and the cats must have stepped on the computer, cause it was lit up. I walked by and saw what looked like porn videos...so I was like oh, maybe this is what he looks at when i'm not here...so I looked closer..and realized it was adult friend finder then he had other tabs up for craigslist adds for sex stuff...and then i checked his email, and there were a couple, ranging from Feb 9th (right after I tried to kill myself) until March 20th...and he had opened tis site on the 15th!) I was in complete shock and then i heard the garage door open.

I didn't want to confront him right away, I was just so heartbroken. So I ran up and turned the shower on. I came down a bit later, and he was being super nice..the laptop was closed...we talked for a bit...i poured a huge glass of wine..he had a small glass...then I went outside to smoke (yeah trying to quit...will quit again when i have BFP...I quit for last pregnancy, then with MMC, I started again) Anyway...I called my friend and was bawling and asked her what I should do...He is taking me to my nerve ablation..etc...I didn't know what to do. So she said to talk to him, and not let him turn anything around on me, etc...and that she could take me and come pick me up if i needed her to...so after a little more wine, i went inside.

He was watching tv and laughing at the show, and I asked him if we could talk for a minute..after pouring more wine lol...He was really nice and said yes, and I didn't even have to say anything and he said 'You saw what was on the computer, right' being really nice...and i explained how it happened...and how heartbroken i was and how much I love him, and I could be pregnant...and asked if he wasn't attracted to me anymore or didn't think i was pretty or what was going on...

He said that he was so so sorry and he had been on those sites for years, and that he should have been talking to anyone...but swore that he hadn't ever met or intended to meet anyone, he just wanted to feel attractive and thought it was harmless flirting..when deep down he knew he shouldn't be doing it. I asked if he really wanted to be with me - I have so much invested in this...we are trying to have a baby and I love him, and said he doesn't love me or hasn't ever told me and wasn't sure if that just takes time or he is waiting to find someone else...he assured me it just takes time for him...we talked about how he felt like he couldn't talk to me about things he was stressed about because i might hurt myself...and that he is getting used to having me around all of the time, etc...he is used to living alone...how during fertile times he has felt like a sperm donar...and after a 14 hour day he is so tired that it is hard for him to have sex every 48 hours...I agree our sex life has been dull lately...and we talked about that before. Ugh. He was really sweet and promised to delete the websites and stay off of them..he tends to go into a self destruct mode after a lot of stress - and I asked if he meant for me to see it....he said maybe subconciously he did...I felt much better afterwards, but am stilla little bit shooken up. the people he was talking to were not even like, attractive...I get it but I don't.

So things are ok...I was crying before he got home thinking I was going to be breaking up with him and that ttc would be over...all of this stuff...I was amazed at home open, honest and sincere he was about it...and how he never turned it around on me. He wasn't mad I looked, etc. So. I am giving him a chance to get this turned around.

Today is my nerve ablation (burning nerve in my spine) and i am scared to death because i don't think my dr will give me any pain meds...my brother is looking to see if he can find a few for me for the next few days..(back is going to be excruciating)...at least hopefully foot will be better.

Anyway! It is at 3:15 check in MST. Mike is taking me and then will go back to his place and rest after we get something like chick fil a..he has a meeting tonight, but my mom couldn't take me and i prefer when he does anyway..seems to go better.

Am so terrified! Ready for it to be here and done already. And I wish my stupid pain dr would give me some painkillers...but I know he won't. I will ask, but he always says 'with my history' - my history is that I ended up on 210mgs of oxy a day from my PCP while waiting for something to help my foot...it isn't fair i am treated differently, really.

Sorry for the book. I love you girls!

 

[AmySan]

And Mary that sounds like an awesome dream!! I wish we all could do that and have dinner!!!

 

[Megamegan]

Amy I'm sorry you are going through that with Mike... after I broke up with my ex-fiance several years ago, I found out he was doing the same thing but actually searching for GUYS to be with. It was a huge shocker but he never actually met up with anything. I think men tend to get too into the fantasy stuff sometimes. Mike has never told you he loves you? I know some men have a tough time expressing themselves. Open communication is key so it sounds like you're doing great at that. Hope things get better and good luck today on your nerve ablation