Hello ladies. Sorry I haven't been on...Ive had alot on my mind & very depressed but I wanted to give a quick update....
Well I wanted to let u ladies know that we got bad news about using DHs sperm for IVF, buut, after lots and lots of thinking, dh has helped me make up my mind about what to do next. Well, we decided on donor sperm. I'm still very sad thinking about this but we also want a baby sooo badly, as you all already know, so dh said he'd rather use donor sperm now rather then risking the chance of not using a donor and then still not finding a clinic that'll work with his sperm and then end up not being funded for the rest of the IVF, when now, alls we'd have to pay for is the donor. If we had to pay for it ALL out of pocket and still use a donor in the future, itd stink that we passed the chance now. Plus both of us already think of the baby as DHs, even now, before the baby has even been conceived. So on Monday, we are going to let the doctor know that we need to get going on picking our donor and TRY and find one that looks at least something like DH and then it should be all ready and set to go for the retrieval date set for late April. Again, I'm sorry ive been absent from here. Ive been sooo depressed but am starting to feeling better about things.
-I posted that in the "TWW" forums, while I was FREAKING out that I couldn't find our thread! Lol.
I have my next RE appt on Monday and we'll go from there. Hopefully all works out. Dh said to me today, "I think your more nervous about the idea of a donor than I am.." And that made me feel better because if he is going to love this baby as his own (which I know he will!), there's nothing to worry about. He and I already say Aidens biological father was Our sperm donor for Aiden, except the only difference is, this time around, he'll be here from pregnancy to birth & beyond. He says the baby will be a daddy's boy or girl, no matter what.
. As I said, I'm still sad about all of this, of course, but I'm soooo thankful to have my DH. He's so amazing for BADLY wanting to use donor sperm with me to ultimately make OUR little one. Hope this all works out before insurance is up still. If not, we do have a back up plan for funding just the transfer as long as we have some of my eggs frozen so I'm not as tense about the timing.
Anyway, I'm glad to see the thread is indeed still alive! U have no idea how freaked I was when I came on to finally give a little update!
I spent the day in the ER yest due to spotting/cramps/back pain/low-grade fever and I was scared due to just having the SHG/mock transfer Tues. But, they found NO trace of infection in my blood work and my pelvic exam & ultrasound went good too so I guess I should have rested more the first two days after the tests and maybe I wouldn't be feeling so bad...? Idk but I'm def keeping my eye on things and mentioning it to my RE on Monday. As of now, the egg retrieval is scheduled for the week of April 27th but ill get a more accurate date after our appt on Monday as well.
Donor sperm is the one thing my insurance doesn't cover but after discovering the costs, we realized its affordable for us. Id really like the phlebotomist who did my blood work yest to be our donor (lol) because he looks SOO much like DH. Its crazy how much he looks like him. But itd be a bit awkward for us, asking for someone's sperm...lol. So I think a sperm bank is the best way to go for us. We dont want to KNOW our donor, as itd be a daily reminder to dh & I so we decided an anonymous donor would ultimately be the best choice for us. I really didn't think IVF would be happening but I never imagined dh to be soooo open to donor sperm. I'm seriously amazed with him and how strong he is for so happily making a decision like that, and he's JUST as excited for IVF to start as he was before & these are all things that DEF helped me be ok with It, as well.
So much for a quick update...lol. I'm still not feeling the greatest but wanted to let you all know what's going on. I love u all & hopefully ill be back to my chat happy self soon. Its like I'm excited but sad all at once. I know the sadness will fade away though...it has already slowly started to in just the past day & by the time our BFP gets here, there will be no room for sadness! FX!
It took me until today to write this, as talking about possible donor sperm was breaking my heart but clearly, I have a different view on donor sperm. I guess I thought dh wouldn't love the baby like he would if it was his swimmers but I now see, he will love the baby JUST as much, if not more. Plus he says having the baby be half me beat adoption in his eyes any day, which I agree with as well.
Well, going to lay down again. I wish all u ladies lots of luck and dust! Talk to u all soon!!
I'm thinking test tomorrow morning? It's just so odd how there was the pink CM twice last night, now it's back to normal! I've had cramps and felt very bloated, but they aren't like period cramps 
x
did you have any spotting? X
Catch that egg 
