Sticking Together Until We All Get BFP's!!!!

[froggyfrog]

I feel that way too mary. Especially being a traveling stay at home wife, I don't talk to many people that aren't family. I tried to hang out with some of the other traveling stay at homes, but those chicks are crazy! They all talk about each other, so I know they talk about me! Im definitely not a gossip girl(unless its just me and dh talking) so I try to just stay away from them! So you guys are my only friends besides stephen(dh). Especially mary, kenna and jess, because you guys have known me since I joined bnb.

 

[snshine23]

It took me awhile to find our thread! Haven't been on at all due to vacation with DH and DS. We had an amazing time away and it has been very difficult returning to the real world. Not to mention, AF arrived 3 days after we got home so I have been dealing with really feeling down. It has been 12 mon the since I had my IUD removed and every month has been BFN. I'm beginning to question if a second child is right for us and I have told DH that I would like to take a break for awhile and while he is supportive about it because he is sad to see me get my hopes up every month only for them to get crapped all over, he's still not ready to give up completely. Just stuck right now and there are now 18 people that I know who are pregnant at the moment. Crazy!

 

[Jrepp]

I want to be more positive but I'm really struggling with depression today... my life has felt stuck for so long. Nearly everything in my life is stalled... work projects that were supposed to happen last fall are no where on the radar anymore, so I literally could get all my work done in an hour or less every day. I'm kinda topped out so no real motivation to work toward a promotion or anything. Home life has been a struggle, as DH has one thing after another - he's been lazy, skipping workouts, then got sick, now he's hurt his back - so he lays on the couch all the time and barely helps out or wants to do anything besides watch TV. He doesn't even seem into BDing even though he claims to want a child so badly. So, I am feeling quite undesirable. My friends are all so busy, they rarely have time to even text - my phone used to buzz all day long up until about a year ago. Sure, I have a vacation in a couple months but that's still too far off to be excited, and it will be a week-long bandaid. I just feel like "what am I here for?" Sigh. Sorry, no one else to vent to. DH gets too worried when I tell him this stuff or thinks a hobby or bath or the vacation should take all this away. I'm really finding it hard to keep going.

TTC can be quite depressing, and unfortunately it's so common amongst us. I remember being right where you are. It seems as if life is continuing and leaving you in the dust. As much as I know you want to be there for your hubby and help him through his struggles, you need to take care of your own emotional being first. You cant help make him happy if you aren't happy. My advice would be to go out and do things that you enjoy doing. If your husband wants to join you that's great, but if not you are doing something to pull yourself out of your funk rather than just sitting idly by and waiting for happiness to come.

Sorry you are having a hard time june. Maybe dh has some stress going on as well? What if you sat down and just mentioned that you see something different in him and is everything ok? That way it would be opening up the convo without him trying to make suggestions that you can do. Does that make sense?

Ok, so when I was under the care of our dr, my cd21 was 10.3. After letrozole it was always in the high 20s. So does anyone have any knowledge of otc progesterone cream? Do you think that when I take letrozole again, that the cream would be beneficial? Im just wondering if maybe I should have a little extra?

I used the OTC cream for one month. From what I remember doctors want to see your progesterone levels above 15 on fertility meds, so the high 20's is pretty good. That isn't your question though....... It's difficult to say whether or not the cream would be beneficial as its difficult to monitor how much is actually making its way to the uterus. Using it certainly won't hurt anything (the placenta makes way more progesterone than the cream would create) though. I would first suggest seeing if your doctor can prescribe the suppositories or vaginal gel so that it goes more to the uterus. If the doc wont, or you want the cream instead make sure to go with one made from yams. I personally used the Emerita brand progest cream from whole foods. Use only 1/4 of a teaspoon once a day. Rub it into the veiny parts of your body: neck, chest, inner arms, top or bottom of feet.....and make sure to alternate locations.

Did that answer your question or did I go off in a whole new direction?

June, ive been so depressed that I'm tired like that as well. Other than a few hrs after school with Aiden, ive been sleeping for a week straight. Well I should say constantly napping. Ive been in physical pain from the procedure I had as well but I know much of my tiredness is from the depression. Ive had depression/anxiety for 11yrs now and its not fun! Ive been better in those years but when something big happens (like finding out I'm infertile and then that we have a male factor for IVF) I shut down like this until I realize for myself that things can turn around and work out good. Being a depression sufferer, I literally can feel how your feeling physically and I SO hope u feel better soon! Do u think ur going to talk to him about it? You dont have to answer that if u don't want to hun. Feel better and I hope u see ur sticky bean before ur eyes! I'm sure that has to do with some of your depression. Idk ur dh but could this all be a way of him covering up TTC? Sometimes men have weird ways of dealing with things. I may be 100% wrong but just wanted to throw out that possible reason...? Lots of hugs to u!!

Also, I too noticed my phone stopped ringing alot about a year ago as well. At that point EVERYONE I knew was getting pregnant and it really upset me, as I found out I couldn't get pregnant thru my HSG the same week as my closest friends announced their pregnancies and idk if I just got bitchy or if its because ive kinda blocked out some of the world myself but I do know its been since I started getting into the more stressful months of TTC. At first I was like "nobody talks to me anymore..." but after thinking about it, I stopped feeling so bad about myself tho cuz in all honesty, its my fault because I stopped talking to everyone else. Ive been so caught up in the world of TTC that it's like I dont have time for friends IRL. U ladies are the main people I talk to, other than DH. I wanted to add that because this is a common thing I've read that people go through while long term TTC and I dont want u to feel bad about it. Like I said, you ladies are basically the only people I talk to outside of my home. Your all my only friends. Lol. Idk if u relate to this per say but its common for TTC to put a strain on relationships. TTC is hard work, all the way around!! You'll get there hun! Cant wait for u to announce ur BFP!

Mary- you never answered my question about what the RE said about your pain. Is it getting any better or gone yet?

I feel that way too mary. Especially being a traveling stay at home wife, I don't talk to many people that aren't family. I tried to hang out with some of the other traveling stay at homes, but those chicks are crazy! They all talk about each other, so I know they talk about me! Im definitely not a gossip girl(unless its just me and dh talking) so I try to just stay away from them! So you guys are my only friends besides stephen(dh). Especially mary, kenna and jess, because you guys have known me since I joined bnb.

We have been together for a very long time! Almost 2 years now. I even remember when you were feeling so frustrated and tried to leave us......but I roped you back in LOL.

It took me awhile to find our thread! Haven't been on at all due to vacation with DH and DS. We had an amazing time away and it has been very difficult returning to the real world. Not to mention, AF arrived 3 days after we got home so I have been dealing with really feeling down. It has been 12 mon the since I had my IUD removed and every month has been BFN. I'm beginning to question if a second child is right for us and I have told DH that I would like to take a break for awhile and while he is supportive about it because he is sad to see me get my hopes up every month only for them to get crapped all over, he's still not ready to give up completely. Just stuck right now and there are now 18 people that I know who are pregnant at the moment. Crazy!

I know the feeling. At my lowest point I lost count at 63 pregnant "friends" on facebook as I was coming off of my second and third losses.....including my sister who had the same due date I did and my sister in law who ended up giving birth on my due date. I defintely think that perhaps taking a break might be good for your sanity, and may provide you with less stress and lead to a bfp. Sometimes switching to ntnp works really well for people.

 

[melewen]

Mary if it were (in an alternate universe) your eggs that were the problem, how would you feel about using donor eggs?

 

[Jrepp]

Here is my 20 week bump!! I can't believe I have made it this far..... and I can't believe how large my tummy is (even though pretty much everyone says I am the cutest little pregnant person carrying it all in my belly and no where else)

 

[froggyfrog]

Haha, I was at a very low point. I think I was dealing with my 2nd failed iui and on top of that all of the hormone changes. But you did rope me back in jess! And im so glad you did! Your bump is soooo freaking cute!!

Dh has been having a lot of back pain for the last few months, and has been on and off taking pain meds. He is going to get a shot on Friday so that the pain is easier to deal with. Which is a lot of why we are waiting to fill my letrozole and buy the stork. We need to give him about 2 or 3 months to give his sperm a chance to regenerate after pain meds. So I guess that now we will wait till june/july to use that combo. I may try the progesterone cream until then, and then add it to our letrozole/stork month

 

[jessilou]

Glad you felt that you could share all that with us Mary. I cannot believe how stupid the IVF clinics are being and I just don't get why they didn't tell you all this was going to be an issue right at the start. Sounds like you have a lot of options at the moment.

Unfortunately nothing good going on over my way, BFN this afternoon and no AF either

 

[jessilou]

you look gorgeous!

 

[laurac1988]

Bahhhhh I was hoping for a bigger rise today
Chart is via the dog ticker - just click

 

[rebeccalouise]

This! Sorry if it offends anyone, but I had to share it with you ladies. It pretty much sums up how I'm feeling right now! X

 

[TTC74]

Pretty good temp dip today - about .35 degrees. Secondary estrogen surge? Early ID for an early BFP? Stay tuned! I will say that I was having pretty snazzy stretching sensations last night in the right side of my groin. Fx it's baby taking up real estate!

 

[SarahLou372]

Hi ladies

For those who remember me I just popped in to see how everyone is getting on?

Well me and OH have an appointment with the gynaecologist at the fertility outpatients clinic next month (9th April) Were slowly getting used to the fact Skye is gone, but its been hard, we've been arguing and at some point I just wanted to be away from my OH completely

I don't know weather the fact of losing the baby as made me feel all these things I don't know, everyone's feelings are different and react in different ways, and maybe you don't realise why your feeling these things

So the hospital have said not to try again until I've been back to my gynaecologist in April and he will decide what we should do next, weather that's to go back on the Clomid, take other drugs with it or change them completely! Maybe even need to run more tests! Im going to be very scared to try again and when I get pregnant I will be a back of rattling bones because of what happened with our Skye

On a good not im going to try new prenatal vitamins as of next week.... I might get Pregnancy care conception for him and her! It says its the UK's number one! I feel that it may help a little as a lot seem to use this one and if my OH was taking something too it may help too. I want to give it a few months for it get in our systems too.

https://www.vitabiotics.com/pregnacare/hisandher/

Sorry to baffle one ladies.

 

[aidensmommy1]

Hi ladies

For those who remember me I just popped in to see how everyone is getting on?

Well me and OH have an appointment with the gynaecologist at the fertility outpatients clinic next month (9th April) Were slowly getting used to the fact Skye is gone, but its been hard, we've been arguing and at some point I just wanted to be away from my OH completely

I don't know weather the fact of losing the baby as made me feel all these things I don't know, everyone's feelings are different and react in different ways, and maybe you don't realise why your feeling these things

So the hospital have said not to try again until I've been back to my gynaecologist in April and he will decide what we should do next, weather that's to go back on the Clomid, take other drugs with it or change them completely! Maybe even need to run more tests! Im going to be very scared to try again and when I get pregnant I will be a back of rattling bones because of what happened with our Skye

On a good not im going to try new prenatal vitamins as of next week.... I might get Pregnancy care conception for him and her! It says its the UK's number one! I feel that it may help a little as a lot seem to use this one and if my OH was taking something too it may help too. I want to give it a few months for it get in our systems too.

https://www.vitabiotics.com/pregnacare/hisandher/

Sorry to baffle one ladies.

I'm so sorry your feeling this way. Your 100% right, we all deal in our own ways but what your describing can be a very common feeling after a loss. I hate that ANYONE has to ever go through that . I hope you and your OH both feel better soon, hun. Ill be saying lots of prayers for you.

Also, its definitely a great idea to have your OH take vitamins as well. His swimmers certainly have alot to do with a successful pregnancy so the healthier, the better! My IVF doc likes to have his patients (both partners) take a multi vit/prenatal for 3 months before starting IVF. He said it makes for better egg/sperm quality to help prevent m/c from occurring. I know your wounds are still healing and you haven't quite decided what's next yet but it sounds like you've got the right idea and are heading in the right direction. I truly hope you feel better soon, Sarah. My heart literally hurts for u.

I wish you and your OH nothing but the best!

 

[aidensmommy1]

Pretty good temp dip today - about .35 degrees. Secondary estrogen surge? Early ID for an early BFP? Stay tuned! I will say that I was having pretty snazzy stretching sensations last night in the right side of my groin. Fx it's baby taking up real estate!

FX for an ID!

question...did ur fertility monitor say Peak for just the one day or did it say peak two days in a row? I'm jw because I've noticed on most charts where women use a fertility monitor, they'll get 2 peak days and usually O will be on that 2nd day, like ur chart last cycle. I'm just wondering if ur possibly 4dpo instead of 5? Either way, implantation can happen as early as 3dpo, so that could be what u felt last night, even if u were only 3dpo at the time. My RE told me its all a matter of how "smoothly" the egg moves through our tube, how quickly the embryo develops and how your hormone levels are. He said that's why they sometimes do a 3 day transfer, instead of a day 5 transfer with IVF...some embryos are ready and moving along much quicker then others, u get what I mean? Many people will tell u its impossible to implant so early but its actually not that uncommon.

Anyway, enough rambling for me! Lol. No matter what dpo u are, ur chart looks great and I'm keeping these fingers crossed nice and tight for u!!

 

[aidensmommy1]

I feel that way too mary. Especially being a traveling stay at home wife, I don't talk to many people that aren't family. I tried to hang out with some of the other traveling stay at homes, but those chicks are crazy! They all talk about each other, so I know they talk about me! Im definitely not a gossip girl(unless its just me and dh talking) so I try to just stay away from them! So you guys are my only friends besides stephen(dh). Especially mary, kenna and jess, because you guys have known me since I joined bnb.

I'm the same way with you, Jess, and Kenna. I feel like ive known you 3 forever! And omg, I know what u mean about girls gossiping and talking crap! I dont like that either. Me and my dh will gossip to each other, as u said, but thats different. Ive never been to keen of girls, due to the back stabbing. Man, do I wish I had you girls IRL! I swear, life would be much more enjoyable!!!

 

[aidensmommy1]

Haha, I was at a very low point. I think I was dealing with my 2nd failed iui and on top of that all of the hormone changes. But you did rope me back in jess! And im so glad you did! Your bump is soooo freaking cute!!

Dh has been having a lot of back pain for the last few months, and has been on and off taking pain meds. He is going to get a shot on Friday so that the pain is easier to deal with. Which is a lot of why we are waiting to fill my letrozole and buy the stork. We need to give him about 2 or 3 months to give his sperm a chance to regenerate after pain meds. So I guess that now we will wait till june/july to use that combo. I may try the progesterone cream until then, and then add it to our letrozole/stork month

I remember when u were down like that too! Lol. I PMed u like immediately to comfort you! Gee, we all really have been through ALOT together!!!

 

[aidensmommy1]

Jess, my RE said that he thinks everything's ok for now, given the blood work showed 0 infection at all but he told me to definitely keep an eye on things and call if the bleeding or pain gets worse. I'm still in pain but now its on and off pain...before it was constant. I literally stayed up crying at night because it hurt too much to get comfortable. I think my uterus is contracting to push any left over stuff out...Thats the best way I can describe it at the moment is contractions. At points I feel like I did when I had my early m/c in Oct '13.

 

[TTC74]

FX for an ID!

question...did ur fertility monitor say Peak for just the one day or did it say peak two days in a row? I'm jw because I've noticed on most charts where women use a fertility monitor, they'll get 2 peak days and usually O will be on that 2nd day, like ur chart last cycle. I'm just wondering if ur possibly 4dpo instead of 5? Either way, implantation can happen as early as 3dpo, so that could be what u felt last night, even if u were only 3dpo at the time. My RE told me its all a matter of how "smoothly" the egg moves through our tube, how quickly the embryo develops and how your hormone levels are. He said that's why they sometimes do a 3 day transfer, instead of a day 5 transfer with IVF...some embryos are ready and moving along much quicker then others, u get what I mean? Many people will tell u its impossible to implant so early but its actually not that uncommon.

Anyway, enough rambling for me! Lol. No matter what dpo u are, ur chart looks great and I'm keeping these fingers crossed nice and tight for u!!

It did give me 2 peak readings (it does as a matter of course), but I'm sure that I Od on the 1st day. I'm taking clomid, and I thought the O pains were going to kill me!

 

[TTC74]

Question. I have a ton of really thick CM right now. It's not bloody. AND, it's completely out of the ordinary for me. Could this be a sign of implantation or is it common post O to have super thick CM on clomid?

 

[starryjune]

Good morning all. How is everyone today?

I am still in my bipolar depression fog. It's also dreary outside which doesn't help. For some reason I am just thinking neither DH or maybe even me has the energy lately to ttc conceive this cycle... although I did just start up on the Pregnitude again and stocked up on OPK strips and also some Mucinex to help produce more EWCM (I take it once a day the few days leading up to earliest possible O, so usually around CD 9). Maybe it's just cuz my period is just finishing and it's not fertile time yet, I don't know.

I have to admit, I ended a friendship a while back with a male friend who says he had fallen in love with me (and I had some feelings, too, but it was more out of loneliness and daddy issues TBH... and the manic side of me really gets off on anything taboo or attention/approval). I am really missing having him to talk to lately, not about this stuff - but exactly the opposite. He was my escape from the crappy daily life stuff. Now I don't feel I have that and I just don't seem to click with others the way I once did with him, before the whole "feelings" mess Sigh, life.