Sticking Together Until We All Get BFP's!!!!

[TTC74]

Sorry Mary. Losing a loved one is so hard.

Had an OB appt yesterday which went fine. Always a good thing but since I panicked unreasonably the night before my appt, it was particularly sweet. It was kind of cool to learn that the Dr can ID almost any sound coming from inside there. At one point, she said "oh that sounds like a foot!" And then she found the heartbeat on the other side.

 

[aidensmommy1]

Angela, with almost every single scan I had, oddly the day or two before I'd get some weird cramping or just something that made me scared that things weren't right and those scans were always that much more amazing because of it.. My worries went away and I got to see my baby girl I'm glad u got your reassurance after your scan! And isn't that neat how they can tell what every noise is?! With both of my kids, I could tell right where they were after 20 weeks or so.. Like where the bum was and head and hand or foot. It's awesome! And later on people could literally see her foot pop out, no joke, she'd make her foot pop out at least an inch and a half, maybe 2 inches. It wasn't always the most comfortable but def amazing to watch! So glad everything's going good!

 

[aidensmommy1]

Well another loss in my family just happened... Well she's not quite gone yet but the nurse said 100% she won't make it through the night. It's Aiden grandmother and she's been like a 2nd mother to me as well, even though we'd fight from time to time but that's what daughters and mothers do. We ended up seeing Aidens biological father out of it and who knows maybe this will help him smarten up. I just can't believe she's gone. I'm feeling way worse then when my Grammy just passed. At least she was 104 and we all knew it was coming.. We knew it would happen one day with Aidens gram because she has cancer all through her body but she's only 46!!! I can't believe this :,( I hugged her last night and told her I will never let Aiden forget her, that we will talk about her everyday and that we love her and idk how but we will all be okay so don't worry about us and she just squeezed me back and tears poured down her cheeks. She couldn't talk because of her oxygen levels and lungs being full of stuff cuz she can't cough anything up. She gave Aiden her perfume so now he can smell her everyday on his favorite stuffed animal. At first Aiden didn't really cry, at all, but while we were in there and as my dad and I were talking to him about how Noni will always be with us then I think he realized she wouldn't physically be here anymore and finally broke down crying. He needed to. They had a very special bond. Ugh. I though I prepared myself better for this one. She's been holding on since Aiden was born but I guess you can just never really be prepared.

Anyway, sorry for all the sad news! It's been a tough week! I needed to vent while everyone else here is still sleeping. Love u all!

 

[Michellebelle]

Awww I'm sorry you're dealing with another loss this week, Mary. What a tough week, that's a lot to deal with in a short amount of time. My dad passed away from cancer earlier this year. It's such a horrible disease. Major hugs your way. It's so nice you guys got to see her last night.

 

[aidensmommy1]

Thank you, Michelle. It means a lot. This is really killing me. I just found out Sunday night that she had been in the hospital for almost 2 months.. I had been wondering why I hadn't heard from her to go doing something with Aiden. What I was told Sunday night was that she had about 6 more weeks so to hear the very next day that she was dying was very very unexpected. There were so many times they said she had 6 weeks, or 12 weeks, or a year, etc. so a big part of me figured she'd fight through it and go into remission again for a bit. Ugh.

And I'm very sorry to hear about your father . Cancer does suck! I always say if I won the lottery jackpot, basically half of it would go to cancer research.. Like all the ones they need a lot more research on to help people survive.

I feel so bad for Aiden biological father too. He and I always have gotten along even though Aiden didnt want him in his life for the past 2 years because he was already not around most the time before he went to jail for multiple DWIs anyway. But yeah when we saw him last night he actually hugged my DH really tight and said "thank you for being the dad you are for Aiden and gave him what I couldn't. I hope we can all make this work and he can have 2 Dads if he chooses to consider me as his dad again." It was so nice to hear him acknowledge the fact that DH is the only father Aiden knows. Hopefully good things can come from this situation, as much as i wish she was going to be here with us. I literally keep feeling like my chest is caving in and I can't breathe. This is a million times worse then when my Grammy passed 3 days ago. It's definitely a lot to go through in one week. We will be okay though. My Grammys wake is tonight. With all of these emotions, I'm going to be a wreck!!! Ugh.

 

[TTC74]

Sorry you're going through so much, Mary. I lost my dad to cancer.

 

[aidensmommy1]

Im sorry about your dad too, angela. Cancer sucks balls! Excuse my potty mouth!

 

[Jrepp]

Michelle, Did you see the message that I posted a few days ago?

 

[Michellebelle]

I did, thanks Jess! I'm thinking we will hopefully be able to try a few more times this year, and if those don't work, consider ivf next year.

 

[Michellebelle]

Still a negative opk. This is gonna be a late O

 

[aidensmommy1]

AF just arrived "a day late" today. Either my LP was a day longer or a Oed a day later. I think my LP was a day longer because I still spotted the day before yesterday (when AF was due), plus I had creamy CM on CD17. So yay for an 11 day LP! It's been 10 days the past few months. Hopefully it keeps going up but I'm thinking MAJOR stress probably delayed it a bit. This is def the hardest loss I've ever delt with. Anyone who has me on FB, please share the GoFundMe link for Kimberly Centras funeral cost. It's Aidens biological father all alone with no other family.. He only has his newest gf to help him get this done and no money. I feel awful about what he's going through right now. I a mess, can only imagine how he's feeling along with the pressure of trying to give her the funeral she much deserves. Ugh. I wish I had the money and I'd pay for it all. She really was a great woman. We had our ups and downs but we always knew we still were family and would always love each other and things would always go right back to normal after an argument. It's not fully real to me yet. I randomly start thinking about how I'll never see her face or hear her voice again and then I break down all over again. I keep reading one of the last texts from her randomly saying "I need to talk to you soon. I love you. I want you to always know that. I think u do but I wanted to reassure you that I love you guys more then anything." And I had no clue her cancer got that bad again at that time but now I know exactly what she wanted to talk about. It's just all so sad. I'm sorry I keep bringing this sadness to u guys! I don't really have many people to talk to IRL.

 

[aidensmommy1]

Come on O! I hope u get a positive OPK in the next day or two, Michelle! Maybe it'll be good to O a little late. Ur body could be trying to make sure it releases that *perfect* egg! FX!

 

[TTC74]

Keeping my fingers crossed for you, Michelle!

Someone gave me some great stuff yesterday! A swing, a rocker, an exercauser, a playmat, and other odds and ins. I was very excited!

 

[aidensmommy1]

That's awesome, Angela! Alexia LOVES her saucer! And it gives me a chance to get some house work and such done. Otherwise, I'd get NOTHING done! lol. She's not even 8 months and she's already walking holding onto the bed and walls and pretty much everything else she could possible climb on lol. She's doing stuff a majority of babies don't do until they're like 10+ months and she's been doing this since right before she hit 7 months. Crazy baby girl! It's the smart ones they say you got to watch out for! lol. All of that stuff will come into handy! We need to get Alexia a high chair now that she's eating basically everything that's soft enough for her now. Little piglet! lol

 

[TTC74]

Ha! I've been looking at high chairs that fold up since DH is sort of a neat freak. Fortunately, he does most of the cleaning himself. So, it's hard to complain. Lol

 

[aidensmommy1]

So strange.. Literally 10mins after telling you that we needed to get a high chair, dhs Aunt came by with a new high chair! lol. That was very random but absolutely perfect timing! And they brought some cute slippers for her and a shirt for Aiden. And handed dh $100, lol. That was super kind of them!

 

[aidensmommy1]

And Angela, they have these really soft foam material chairs that u can attach right to a normal kitchen chair. It holds them in there really well. I used one with Aiden a lot and it was super handy!

 

[Michellebelle]

Angela, it's great that you got so many things! That's a lot to be excited about!

Mary, I'm so sorry about what you're going through. It is just so hard, I know, and you have to take time to be sad about it so you can properly heal.

I'm thinking of trying the pineapple trick for implantation this cycle. Have you guys heard of anyone being successful with it?

 

[aidensmommy1]

Michelle, it looks like U may have Oed and are just having a slow rise. I'm pretty sure some of your charts in your previous cycles have had slower rises on the first few days too, right? We'll see what it does over the next couple of days but it's really looking like you could've Oed, just because it dipped then you had a rise back up and suddenly temps are more stable now, immediately following your last +OPK. Fx!!

 

[TTC74]

I hope Michelle did O! Although the TWW is long, it's always exciting!