LTTTC while feeling left behind Room - Welcome

[Sizzles]

Mother nature decided to tell me happy new year with a big eff you. Started spotting

Sorry to hear that!

 

[LekkerSlaap]

Alright ladies, it's 4am my time, I have my appointment at 3pm to get the final word. I did get a message on facebook tonight from a friend who might be bringing some really incredible news to me soon. I'm not exactly getting my hopes up but I'm praying. Could you pray too?

 

[here_we_r]

HI Amanda. 2012 defo could have been better in my book as well. New year and new adventures.

Gdane: I'm sorry sweetie. But how many times have we heard that right. Are you going to put a ticker for your lap? I guess maybe I just need to remember that its on Valentines day.

 

[GdaneMom4now]

I have when its scheduled on there, but I guess a ticker would be good. I was trying to declutter my signature lol. And thank you for the condolences, but I just am pissed now haha. Mother effing mother nature! !UGHH

Lekker, best of luck at your appt. What's this news with your friend?

 

[phrumkidost]

Hi ladies!
I'm sorry -- it's been ages since I posted anything. I'm still here in Bhutan but have been so busy and top of that rarely have Internet. But I have been thinking of all of you!

I'll try to check back on the old posts to catch up but I'd love to hear what I have missed, too.

Hope you are all well! And hope I find good news soon!

 

[LekkerSlaap]

Ok since I got on the phone as soon as I came home from the dr, and I've been sitting here googling my face off and playing a little wow with the hubby...here's the update.

IVF, SURROGACY, or ADOPTION......that's the next step. All 3 of which are super expensive. I did contact the FS that I have chosen to use. They do give 50% off for military but that still puts the IVF, ICSI, AHA @4,500...Anesthesiologist @400....Medication costs unknown for sure until I have my consult....lodging for an entire month (possible to TDY have the military pay for that) and for a higher chance of it being successful doing the genetic testing and gender selection 4,100. (that is supposed to be 99.9% successful) So that's about 10k ish. Or they have the refundable package if I qualify for 20k. SO the question is, how do you jump into this blindly? How do you save up that amount of money? I'm putting my head to trying to find a job that pays well and taking what is left over of the income tax return and putting that towards IVF or Adoption as right now I don't have a surrogate in mind.

As for the friend thing I really don't want to say yet until I know something for sure. I'm just saying that I need the prayers that this works and it will happen. I have a friend who is trying to make a very big sacrifice for me that I would have never expected, and if all works out I will be so overwhelmed with joy. And you ladies will be the first to know if it happens. As for now I'm going to look into trying to find people to do fundraisers for me. And just hope for the best!

 

[scerena]

ladies
Sorry I'm a crappy poster at the moment! Just feel boring as not alot to post about...
I'm cd4 today, had a 50day cycle so clearly didn't ovulate so I have decided to go along with the egg sharing ivf- I have my nurses appointment on the 22nd jan and hopefully get my 2nd HIV test done- then After be matched (quickly I'm told) then induce af- so hoping to get started February some time

gdane I know exactly how you feel mine decided to show on nye! wishing you tons of luck for this cycle

teddy glad to hear all is well I am stalking your journal for them lovely scan pics

lekker so sorry all these options are so expensive do you have a thing called "egg sharing" where you are?
That is what I am about to get in to- basically you share your eggs with ladies who have gone through treatments such as chemo/ have a low amh/ early menopause etc? In rerun you get a greatly reduced Ivf cycle?
I hope what ever you end up deciding to do will be affordable real soon

here how are things going with you? I hope you're well?

everyone else sorry I haven't wrote individually to you all, I'm on my phone and only read back the last page properly, hope you're all well

 

[LekkerSlaap]

I actually would like information about egg sharing. I've thought about it but I'm not sure if I would qualify. I have a heart disease as well as scoliosis. I've also had 4 surgeries where I have been put completely under. So would that probably disqualify me?

 

[scerena]

I am not sure Hun? I know different clinic have different policies aswell?? Like some don't accept ladies with pcos for example and some do?

Here is a link that summarises egg sharing quickly-

https://www.eggsharing.com/how_eggsharing_works.html

I would call around some fertility clinics in your area and see if any of the above you mentioned would affect you doing egg sharing?

 

[Titi]

Ok since I got on the phone as soon as I came home from the dr, and I've been sitting here googling my face off and playing a little wow with the hubby...here's the update.

IVF, SURROGACY, or ADOPTION......that's the next step. All 3 of which are super expensive. I did contact the FS that I have chosen to use. They do give 50% off for military but that still puts the IVF, ICSI, AHA @4,500...Anesthesiologist @400....Medication costs unknown for sure until I have my consult....lodging for an entire month (possible to TDY have the military pay for that) and for a higher chance of it being successful doing the genetic testing and gender selection 4,100. (that is supposed to be 99.9% successful) So that's about 10k ish. Or they have the refundable package if I qualify for 20k. SO the question is, how do you jump into this blindly? How do you save up that amount of money? I'm putting my head to trying to find a job that pays well and taking what is left over of the income tax return and putting that towards IVF or Adoption as right now I don't have a surrogate in mind.

As for the friend thing I really don't want to say yet until I know something for sure. I'm just saying that I need the prayers that this works and it will happen. I have a friend who is trying to make a very big sacrifice for me that I would have never expected, and if all works out I will be so overwhelmed with joy. And you ladies will be the first to know if it happens. As for now I'm going to look into trying to find people to do fundraisers for me. And just hope for the best!

Hi hun,
1st off, I hope that whatever your friend has brewing will be your lifesaver. I can not tell you the amazing things my women friends have done, want to do, and may do for me in all the years ttc that knock my socks off. Women are so truly AMAZING!!!!

I am in a place of not having the finances ATM to go further either, so have done quite a bit of research over the years. Here are just a few things I have come up with, that may (or may not) help you, depending on what direction you are more heavily inclined to-

1. State adoption-although private infant adoption is more costly than ivf, I found that adopting children in foster care from the state of Fl. is not only free-but you also can qualify for the $14,000 tax credit PLUS they go to state college for FREE PLUS if you adopt a special needs (that means they are either 8 years or older, biracial, need to go with a sibling or have special physical/mental or emotional needs) you also get a monthly stipend and free medical, etc. You can even "browse" the waiting children on a dept of children and families website here. The homeschooling and paperwork and everything is free except the cost of court filings, etc. which are some hundreds of dollars and they will reimburse you.

2. Embryo adoption-Although you still have to pay for the "transfer" the embryo is donated to you and you save on all the costs of stimming meds, follicular phase monitoring, egg retrival, most embryologist fees, etc.

3. I'm having the hardest time finding ways to pay for ivf. There are about 5 companies I know of that finance ivf if you have good credit. The FS should have brochures on site or you can google it. Also, you can really negotiate on meds. Ask about donated meds. Most women don't need everything in the pack they get and will often donate the rest back to the dr. You can ask for the donated back meds. Additionally my current FS says if you give him enough notice about when you will do your ivf, he will "beat down the drug reps" for free samples of the most expensive kinds. There are also some websites like "chip in" etc. where people can donate to your cause. If you had a lot of family or friends you thought would like to help, you can always set that up.

I'll post more if I think of them.

 

[GdaneMom4now]

Phrum!! Scerena!! Sizzles! great to see you guys back!!

 

[here_we_r]

Titi and Scerena..that is so sweet of you guys to give Lekker that information. I'm just always overwhelmed at the love and concern for the ladies on BnB. You guys are awesome for giving her and others who read this thread some information that may give hope. Thank you so much

Scerena..Even though I know you don't post much anymore I just do love when you do. I just don't want you to disappear. So egg sharing coming up soon. That's awesome. Your appt is right around the corner.

Titi: Sweety..You are the greatest! Always leaving encouragement and hope when you are going through so much yourself. You are awesome.

Gdane: I love the ticker. Did you know I'd be looking. Now I can countdown with you. I enjoyed talking to you yesterday. You are so crazy girl. I love the accent..even though you say its me...LOL

Lekker: I hope it works out with your friend. That's really nice of the ladies here and your RL friend who is trying to work her magic for you. It's nice to know there are people out there who truly care about our hearts and desires. I hope all things work out soon and for the best.

phrum: howdy stranger. How long will you be there? Its for work right? Check in when you can. not much going on here. Oh...Teddy got her bfp. Other than that a lot of new friends have joined us as well as Titi and Gdane have laps coming up soon. Scerena has egg sharing coming up. I have an IVF consult coming up in which I will be inquiring about a lap. Lekker had some terrible news but will overcome it I know. She's trying to hang strong and we're proud of her. Other than that..Not too much else that I can think of.

 

[scerena]

gdane Thank you Gdane How are you holding up???

We are quite close in cycles hun im cd4 today, do you have any plans for your cycle this month?

here Thank you hun, us ladies are all going through such hard times that any info ladies can give us at this point is always nice isnt it Some may be relevant and some may not be, but its nice to know that others have the time to help you through a hard time

I am sorry I dont post here often- I come on and mostly update my journal nowadays as I try not to be as addicted as I use to be- but I do need to make more of an effort on this thread as all of you ladies are amazing support!

Yep not long until my appointment its kind of scary as no meds have ever given me my which is a shame but what will be will be and I need to remain positive not just for myself but for the other lady who is receiving my eggs also

So where are you at on the ttc front at the moment? I see you have an ivf consult coming up real soon exciting

 

[LekkerSlaap]

Ok since I don't think it's going to happen since I have talked to the friend, and both people from the ricki lake show I will say what was up.
So Jenelle the woman I was on the show with who got the free IVF contacted me the other night asking all this information about my next step, will my insurance cover anything, and if I could afford it. All of which was no and I don't know...she decided that her time of trying for a baby is done and contacted the ladies from the Ricki Lake show to give me her free IVF. They didn't say anything to her about allowing me to have it but they have talked to her, and I have talked to both of them...and they didn't mention anything about giving it to me so I am glad I didn't get my hopes up.

As for me, today I finally heard from my sister who has been in the hospital for 3 days, she tried to commit suicide. I'm so upset with her but at the same time I know why (she was on Zoloft) and I cannot be too angry b/c she is alive. I just want to go home and be with her but we cannot afford it. If I do get to go I won't be able to come back here for god only knows how long and that would change everything. So I'm completely confused and don't know what to do. I have the show next weekend, spring sprint first week of feb, ugh so much stuff. So confusing...but at least I have you awesome ladies here. Thank you so much for the info on egg sharing and adoption! I will be talking about them with my hubby!

 

[BjergKriger]

So glad to find this room! My husband and I have been LTTTC since June of 2011. I attributed most of my lack of conception to my 10-year stint on oral contraceptives, but now I think it is much more than that. I've had all the blood tests done and show that I'm ovulating and having normal cycles, so I'm trying to get the hubby to actually do some tests to figure out what might be going on.

Sadly, it seems like everyone around me has become pregnant. One of my close friends got pregnant about three months after getting married (and about four months after going off birth control), so that really got me depressed. Every month that goes by I become a little more disheartened by my lack of conception.

Thanks for reposting today. I actually don't check the site that much because I tend to get a little obsessed and then don't want to think about it at all, but I probably should start a new year's resolution to actually check this more often! THanks again...

 

[here_we_r]

Bjerg. We totally know how it feels to watch everyone else get pregnant while still waiting and being told there is nothing wrong. I'm so sorry that you are having to go through this as well. I think that will be a good idea for DH to get checked out. It could be something easily fixable with him - like sperm count. I hope this is the case. Do the best you can coming on here honey. Let us try and support you.

Lekker: I'm sorry to hear about your sister. You really have to be careful with those meds cause they defo can have the opposite effect. I hope she is okay.

 

[phrumkidost]

Here's a bit of a longer post from me (for now -- will have regular internet access when I am home again in two weeks -- can't wait!)

I am so excited to hear Teddy's news! Congrats!! I am sooo happy for you!

Lekker: I am so sorry to hear about everything you are going through. Stay strong if possible, and I am sure everything will work out in the end.

Scerena: glad to hear the egg-sharing is moving along. Sounds so exciting!

Titi and Bjerg (and others): Nice to meet you!

Here: when is the IVF consult?

Others: sorry, I still need to check back and get caught up. Will do as I can.

As for me, I am still here in Bhutan for work. I've spending a lot of time in remote villages, which is fun. I'm in the capital now until I go home in two weeks (*really* ready for that!)

In other news, I actually got my BFP! I asked Here if it was okay to share it in here and she thought it was, so hope no one minds. It's so funny, I was in the middle of nowhere for two weeks and had to pee over a hole in an outhouse. Luckily I thought to bring a test with me, just in case. What a way to find out that one is pregnant. LOL. I think I should be about 7 weeks by now, but I'll know more once I am home and can see a Dr. For what it's worth, I think it was the acupuncture and tons of herbs and supplements that worked for me. (I was told it also helps for male factor, but we didn't get that far)

So happy to be able to catch up with you all! I've missed you!

 

[GdaneMom4now]

Holy crap congrats Phrum!! What an amazing story doll. That's amazing

Lekker: very sorry for everything that's going on and sorry my texting was less than supportive last night. I was trying to drive then went and visited family thats in from out of town. Big big

Big welcome to Bjerg!!

 

[Sizzles]

Wowsers Phrum! Great news. Congratulations!!!

Hugs to Lekker - sorry you're having such a bad time of it hun.

Hi Bjerg! Defo know how frustrating and sad it is when everyone else is pregnant!

Hi! to everyone else.

 

[here_we_r]

PHRUM!!!!!!!!!!!!! So glad you decided to announce.

Guys..she was thinking of us and didn't want to post here. She is the sweetest. So thoughtful.

CONGRATS!!!!

Phrum..I was reading back in the post and then looked at your chart. The cycle you thought was a bust was actually when you got pregnant right? Crazy numbers and all. Am I right? That is the way it happens right? Congratulations again darling.