LTTTC while feeling left behind Room - Welcome

[here_we_r]

ladies just a flying visit! I can't reply individually to everyone on my phone right now sorry

Sorry I have been MIA had a hectic week- was my bday last sat I went out with ally friends and ohs friends we had a good night and I've finally just got over my hangover

I've posted a pic of me I was very drunk!

So please update me on what's going on with you all???

phrum CONGRATULATIONS on your pregnancy Hun

Wow! You look like you partied hard!!! That's what I'm talking about. You're really pretty too.

Nothing much going on with me. Had my IVF consult which freaking made me more confused than ever before. He gave me so much darn information that it took me a few days to decipher. I don't think I'll be going that route. He did insist I try another IUI. DH and I talked as well, I'm at my breaking point though where I'm tired of being miserable. I'm kinda wanting an Lap but nothing is pointing that that is what I need. My RE said that I didn't but I kinda want one, you know? Anyways...that's about it with me. Where are you with egg sharing? Any dates coming up? My mind is out in left space right now.

 

[here_we_r]

Pooka..I know I haven't posted much here. I've been in a downward spiraling mood. I'm so sorry about your IUI. I really wanted and expected it to work. What's next for you? Have you had a lap?

oneKight: I'm sorry about the pain of your cyst girl. I've heard they can really ache and hurt. ARe you taking anything? What's next with your planning? 1 year to do the day you walked out on your ex huh? If it was a situation you were happy to get out of..I applaud you.

Lekker- I hope the witch finds you soon. I hope you don't have the crazy hormones like I do when it arrives.

Amanda..Hi honey!

Titi: A few more days and you are on your way. I can't wait to hear about. I read your pre-op and thanks. I'm going to ask my RE again and see if he will. I called my ob and the nurse said they rather my RE did it since he is the one following me on this..RAT's a**.

 

[Titi]

Titi: A few more days and you are on your way. I can't wait to hear about. I read your pre-op and thanks. I'm going to ask my RE again and see if he will. I called my ob and the nurse said they rather my RE did it since he is the one following me on this..RAT's a**.

You're welcome. I'll tell you what. My ob/gyn has been helping me with ttc since 2010 and she also said that she wanted my RE to do it. But my RE doesn't take insurance. So I would have had to come up with the entire amount up front and then try and submit and hope it got taken. NOT. I explained this to her after I talked with my RE and she was super understanding and had me booked straight away.

Check with your RE and see if he is the same. Even if he does go through insurance it might not get covered if he does it, so you might use that as an exuse too....like, my ob put it in for "pelvic pain" which they cover but they don't cover "infertility".

 

[scerena]

here aw thanks Hun yes it was a really good night! Now back on a detox

Gl with the iui Hun
I know what you mean about wanting the lap, have you had your tubes checked at all or anything???

With the egg sharing- I've got my nurses appointment on 22nd for inject training (again), my swabs and hopefully my 2nd HIV test- I should be matched shortly after the 22nd fx'd!

So when are you hoping to do your iui?

 

[here_we_r]

Titi - My RE takes insurance. I called right before lunch and talk to one of the ladies that I love there. She said he does not take lightly surgery. She said after viewing my last one that he doesn't think that its necessary and that he couldn't explain his reasoning for doing one if something went wrong. She said he just finished telling a lady that he was going to rush her over and do it because the dye test revealed some troublesome stuff. She said because he didn't see anything from the report as well as the HSG and the hysteopingram (the one with the light). That he is not going to do it and that it won't increase fertility. So I guess that's a lost cause for me concerning the lap. She just kept saying that she wish she could tell me something to make me feel better and to help. She said she was talking to me as a friend and not patient. I really wanted the lap.

Scerena: hi again love..I guess I'll be starting the IUI next cycle. I'm not totally convinced yet of doing it as I feel there is no benefit unless my Coq10 has been working on my eggs. If that is the case then why am I not pregnant. I just feel there is something stopping this whole thing! Congrats and FX'ed that everything goes according to plan on the 22nd. I can't wait for you to have your bfp too.

Sizzles - Hey girl. I thought I spoke to you earlier but when I looked back I see I didn't type it..Without going back to risk loosing all i've typed - Are you waiting on AF??

 

[Sizzles]

Sizzles - Hey girl. I thought I spoke to you earlier but when I looked back I see I didn't type it..Without going back to risk loosing all i've typed - Are you waiting on AF??

Hiya! Nope, I'm done with af and on cd5 (romantically told OH earlier that now he's starting running again in the evenings we shall have to 'plan' our dtd even more so!)
Kind of excited and crapping myself though: our letter has arrived inviting us for our initial meeting for ivf, and it's next Wednesday, so really soon. We both have lengthy health questionnaires to fill in (I've started mine!) OH just has to check there are no issues with him for work next week, but fingers crossed we're on our way!

I know what you mean about brain over-load - I'm fully expecting that from next weeks meeting. I get you on the lap thing too - I reckon it's a feeling of being proactive and ruling things out.

 

[LekkerSlaap]

Finally AF is here.

 

[scerena]

here when I had my lap I was told I was more fertile for 3months or something?- as your tubes get cleared out of any "cobwebs" etc... Sucks they won't give you one

I'm starting coQ10 for my Ivf I need to get it tomorrow! How long in general does it take to start working? Think I might be starting it late!
The iui will help any get to where they need to be Hun, don't feel down about it as it will increase your chances
Your bfp will be here real soon

sizzles that is amazing news when are you likely to start the Ivf? We could end up being Ivf buddies

lekker is af finally being here a good or bad thing? Sorry I haven't been able to catch up properly, not sure if you need af to be here for anything or not? Either way I'm sorry the witch got you

 

[Sizzles]

sizzles that is amazing news when are you likely to start the Ivf? We could end up being Ivf buddies

Hey that would be cool! Well, I realised last night that the letter arrived a month to the day after I made the phonecall (had to wait until officially 3 years of ttc, which FS knew was December, but it was my responsibility to ring them to set the ball rolling). At that point, I was told 2-3 months til treatment. Well, we're a month into that time now and the 'meeting' is next week, so I guess within the next couple of months, but the process, e.g. initial consultation (as opposed to a meeting with several other couples) could start sooner. How about you? What sort of timescale are you working to?

Lekker - sorry af arrived, in the way that I'm always sorry when someone gets that definite 'no', but I know you were fed up waiting for it, so I'm glad it's here so you can move on.

 

[scerena]

sizzles oh well not long at all then how exciting we could be very near in cycles
Are your in the uk?

I have my nurses appointment next Tuesday- for inject training, my 2nd HIV test and swabs for chlamydia and gonorreah...
Then I should get matched and started as soon as the results are back
So I'm hoping feb hopefully or match the latest!

How are you feeling about the whole Ivf?

 

[Sizzles]

sizzles oh well not long at all then how exciting we could be very near in cycles
Are your in the uk?

I have my nurses appointment next Tuesday- for inject training, my 2nd HIV test and swabs for chlamydia and gonorreah...
Then I should get matched and started as soon as the results are back
So I'm hoping feb hopefully or match the latest!

How are you feeling about the whole Ivf?

If I'm honest, I feel a little ashamed that I'm having to go through this. It won't stop me doing it, and it doesn't affect how I feel about other people doing it. But in my mind, my body hasn't done what it's supposed to do and at this stage (I'm keen to make that clear as I'm sure in time, it won't matter) I don't really want anyone knowing that any baby of mine may have been an ivf baby. I worry that if we're successful, then if we went on to have another baby naturally - as I've heard often happens - that I'd feel differently about my children, or that family or friends who knew might refer to that child as having been ivf. I also used to be of the opinion (before ttc) that ivf is messing with nature and I wasn't sure if it was right or not. Of course, now I'm in that situation of ivf or no children, I've altered my mind-set!
I hope nobody reads that and thinks I'm too opinionated or judgmental - the only person I'm judging is me.

On the flip-side, I am actually excited that the chance of getting pg draws ever nearer. I am also petrified that it won't work!

Yes, I'm in the UK - down south; where are you? Is yours NHS or private?

 

[uwa_amanda]

edited-felt silly posting what I did lol

 

[Titi]

I don't think you are opinionated or judgemental at all. What you have expressed is the EXACT same thing I really struggle with. And I'm not judging at all of anyone else-I'm JEALOUS that thy can just go for it without all the worry and thinking and guilt and such that I am putting myself through : (

 

[Sizzles]

I don't think you are opinionated or judgemental at all. What you have expressed is the EXACT same thing I really struggle with. And I'm not judging at all of anyone else-I'm JEALOUS that thy can just go for it without all the worry and thinking and guilt and such that I am putting myself through : (

Goodness! That's a relief! I think I've been kind of in denial about it - or rather, had reasonable hope up until now, when it's become far more real, that it would happen naturally and it would be a bridge we didn't have to cross. Now I'm really excited, but really scared at the same time. This is 3 years in the making: every month we go through the motions of examining cm, dtd, symptom spotting and hitting a low when af arrives and now it's within touching distance. This could actually happen! WTF! But then, as I said before, I have to have a reality check that it might not work and the end of that 2ww would be far worse than any I've experienced so far and we'd have to psych ourselves up to go through it again. Phew! I just hope I feel a little less 'chaotic' after next week's meeting, cos at the moment, my head is just buzzing!

Out of interest, for those of you who have been through it, are currently going through it, or are about to be having ivf, how many people/who have you told?

 

[GdaneMom4now]

Out of interest, for those of you who have been through it, are currently going through it, or are about to be having ivf, how many people/who have you told?

I've been silently stalking as I got kind of annoyed on my journal but I just wanted to respond to this. When hubby and I were first planning on doing IVF, we told everyone. We ended up not going through with it, but if/when we decide to go through with it, I'll probably tell anyone who wants to know but I'll tell them if I don't tell them I'm pregnant, it probably means it didn't work, so please don't ask because it's going to be extremely hard to deal with a failed IVF cycle.

Lekker, sorry about af

 

[Titi]

I don't think you are opinionated or judgemental at all. What you have expressed is the EXACT same thing I really struggle with. And I'm not judging at all of anyone else-I'm JEALOUS that thy can just go for it without all the worry and thinking and guilt and such that I am putting myself through : (

Goodness! That's a relief! I think I've been kind of in denial about it - or rather, had reasonable hope up until now, when it's become far more real, that it would happen naturally and it would be a bridge we didn't have to cross. Now I'm really excited, but really scared at the same time. This is 3 years in the making: every month we go through the motions of examining cm, dtd, symptom spotting and hitting a low when af arrives and now it's within touching distance. This could actually happen! WTF! But then, as I said before, I have to have a reality check that it might not work and the end of that 2ww would be far worse than any I've experienced so far and we'd have to psych ourselves up to go through it again. Phew! I just hope I feel a little less 'chaotic' after next week's meeting, cos at the moment, my head is just buzzing!

Out of interest, for those of you who have been through it, are currently going through it, or are about to be having ivf, how many people/who have you told?

yes, I was just at the end of 3 years also when we did our mini ivf and it failed which was completely crushing-esp. as we drained ALL our savings paying for fertility treatments. It's a year later and I'm not closer emotionally or financially yet to go again, but at 37 really running out of time and hopeless.

Anyway, when we did ivf the ONLY person (asides from bnb girls) that knew we were doing it was my mother-and I didn't go into many details b/c it's against my parents religious beliefs so I didn't want to trouble her very much. Once it failed, I shared with my MIL and SIL who had been nagging us to take our treatments further so I told her we had and it didn't work.

I have a bnb friend who just posted on FB that her retrieval is this Friday personally, that's crazy to me. The feeling when it failed was so undescribable and if I had to share that with my entire FB community-egads.

 

[Sizzles]

Thanks for your responses. Some, but not all, friends and family know we're ltttc and I've kind of said 'next step ivf' but haven't given time-scales to all but one so far. That one person is a close friend who lives nearby and I'm considering keeping her in the loop so I have someone to confide in and a shoulder to cry on (other than OH) if necessary. She would be sworn to secrecy though. However, there are other people who may ask and I don't want to lie to them, but equally I don't want everyone knowing. e.g. a friend I'm due to see in the next couple of weeks, who had fertility problems many moons ago and ended up adopting twins; she's bound to ask and I shall probably tell her as I only see her once or twice a year. Might need to keep it vague again and just say by the summer we should be further on with the process. I think your advice to tell them not to ask Titi is good for those I do tell - except possibly the friend who it would just be easier to tell - plus, if it fails and I go again, I would want her support again.
Gdane, what you said actually gave me an idea. I could tell people that we're now eligible for ivf but 'we're just keep going for now' or something so they don't ask too many Qs re ivf.

This time next week we'll just about be setting off for our meeting - eek!

 

[LekkerSlaap]

Well it's a good thing and bad thing she's here. Good thing because I can finally get it out of the way. Bad thing is that it's just a reminder that she's going to be around forever without reason. BUT I finally got hubby to talk to me some lastnight, Adoption right now is completely out of the question. He wants IVF, end of story. Now the issue is the money. Right now I'm ready for AF to already be gone because she's being VERY harsh. Absolutely making up for lost time since I was right at 2 weeks late. I'm in a lot of pain this time.

 

[scerena]

sizzles I totally get exactly what you mean about the whole almost "failure" of your body, I always here things like "our love child was created through love" that gets me every time as I thought I would get there more naturally and I feel so let down by my body...

I guess how we have to look at it is- our bodies couldn't do it on our own, but we have never stopped or classed it as failure... We are doing what we have to do to have our babies- if it means spending money and making our embryos outside the womb- our babies will totally be some of the most loved children ever and they will know how much they are loved once they're older and just how much they were wanted...

Your children won't ever be any different you will love them all the same Hun- in life we have to try so hard and if it did happen naturally after you will be just as appreciative that it did and that you didn't have to go through the IVF process again

I'm down south too! And I'm not getting funded as you have to be 30 in my pct and I'm only 26- so doing egg sharing instead- I will donate half my eggs...

I get the fears about it not happening and it's very scary, but we can remain positive for each other

lekker I hope that you manage to get the IVF soon, it is very expensive bless you
I also hope that af hurries away very quickly

gdane very wise words you said there and I think I will say the same to people- as my family and friends know I'm doing the IVF...
How are you doing lately anyway Hun?

 

[GdaneMom4now]

I'm okay. Hubs and I have been playing and being dumb with each other like we used to. It's been a lot of fun to feel like my old self again. I'm trying to be detached from a lot of things because my grandpas cancer is back and we find out how bad it is today. It's not sounding good. I'm only having a few side effects from soy which is lots of o pain/shooting pains and itchy skin oh and I'm breaking out but that happens when I'm actually having a strong O. I feel good about taking it. I feel like ehhh...idk...my grandpa said he was just waiting for our pregancy announcement because he was going to be so incredibly excited for our LO (he loves my DH to death) and it just sucks that I couldn't give that to him. I hope I can at least give him big news before he's taken from this life. Doesn't sound good so far.

As for DH's infection...they keep telling us its epididymitis but after reading about varicoceles lsat night I'm 99% sure he's been misdiagnosed. We both think he has a variocele, so we both might have surgery in the near future. guess we'll find out at his appt tomorrow.

Soooo i've been good/sucky. Just trying to stay happy.