LTTTC while feeling left behind Room - Welcome

[krystinab]

Yeah, I kinda stopped checking in as there was never any action on here.

So here's where I'm at:
Decided to leave the IVF for a few months after the initial meeting in Jan - too hideous and OH was left reeling! So we're just going au naturel for now! I've also started seeing a hypnotherapist to deal with my anxieties and general TTC feelings. I've had 3 sessions and felt much calmer after the first one; my usual LP emotions and tears were pretty non-existent last cycle. I'm now just past ov I think, though I seem to have OV'ed later than usual; CD16 today, usually OV CD13 and think I OV'ed CD14 or 15. Not due to see the hyno-lady again for another month, so we'll see if I can get through LP on my own with her relaxation techniques.

Sizzle glad you posted. I miss chatting with you ladies.
Hypnotherapist would be a good idea for a lot of us TTCers! I know stress really plays a big part in not getting pregnant. Hopefully you're able to get a natural BFP...did you and DH bd? Did you ever get an IUI? It's been so long I forget.

 

[Sizzles]

No, I was never up for the IUI - don't think it was an option for us.
We did BD a few times around OV, so we stand as much chance (if not more) as we ever do.

 

[here_we_r]

Sorry girls. I've been taking breaks from here. The breaks help so much. After Springbreak I just told myself - to let it go pretty much. I'm already blessed so I'm going to live my life. Not to say that AF don't piss me off but therapy is really helping me cope with a lot of stuff.

Oneknight: Yep..I agree with sizzles..you are a good one. There is no way I could have done that. My feelings and emotions show on my face anyway. No matter how I try to fake it..it shows everything.

Sizzles: Tell me about the hypnotherapist. What do they do differently than a regular therapist? Do you get hypnotized? Sounds cool and interesting.

Kryst: I came in time. Results today. FX'd that you come back on here with news of a I'm so excited for you.

 

[Sizzles]

Sizzles: Tell me about the hypnotherapist. What do they do differently than a regular therapist? Do you get hypnotized? Sounds cool and interesting.

I don't know what a regular therapist does, so not sure I can comment on that! However, I can tell you what has happened when I've been to the hypnotherapist.
So the first session was an hour and a half (might even have been 2 hours) so she could take lots of details about me, OH, health, general situation, plus tell me about how she works. She also did a bit with me just on relaxing and having a mantra to repeat. The second session she'd asked me to bring along ideas for 'clutter' I needed to get rid of - from my past etc. So we revisited the previous week, then she took some notes on my mental clutter, explaining that we were going to get rid of it. You do this by 'giving permission' to your brain/body to get rid of it and I had to say something (in my head) 3 times so my brain knew I wasn't kidding! Any way, this whole session was about that and decluttering so I didn't focus on negativity. Then the third (and last) session I had, she asked me whether there was anything else I wanted to get rid of (like previous week), which I didn't. So she moved on to positive affirmations and healing and recorded a 27minute session of relaxation and positivity etc. for me to listen to at home. Oh, and deep breathing: apparently deep breathing is very good for you generally, as well as for relaxation, so you have to breath into your abdomen (I did this whilst driving the other day and OH asked me if I was ok as I was breathing funny! I didn't tell him, I just said I was fine, and breathed 'normally' again!). That's the gist of what I've experienced so far. She did say to me at the end of the session that I could maybe go 3 months now before seeing her again. This was based on the fact that she wanted me to forget all about ttc and felt that seeing her would hinder that. However, I said that after 3 years of ttc, even with her help (and it really has helped!) I didn't feel ttc would even be out of my mind completely (especially when it comes to dtd and timings etc.) so we agreed to leave it 6 weeks and I'm just over half way through.
She basically tailors 6 sessions around the Fertile Body Method - it has it's own website which you might be interested to look at:

https://www.thefertilebody.com/

She explained to me that our brains enormously effect the rest of our bodies and if we think a particular thing in relation to our bodies, it can often make it happen - a bit like a selffulfilling prophecy. So for example, when she dug a bit deeper and asked how I felt about my womb etc. I explained that sometimes I joke to hubby that 'I'm barren'; hypno lady said that this tells your brain that this is the case which directly affects fertility. So instead, I have to visualise my womb as a welcoming place and use positive keywords like 'warm' (my acupuncturist had said I had a 'cold uterus'!) 'cosy', 'inviting' etc. as I say my affirmation in my head.
I don't know. Some of it sounds a little too airy fairy for my liking. But I will say that I felt better after session 1 and since then have felt generally calmer and more rational about things. I still really want a baby - sooner rather than later - but am happier and more comfortable trying naturally for a while longer. And as she put it, the IVF is there as 'insurance' as and when we need it. I try not to think about this as it makes me think it suggests negativity to even contemplate it, but I suspect in 2 or 3 months, if we're still not pg, we'll probably go down that route again.

 

[here_we_r]

Sizzles..that sounds interesting. I'm going to check out this link you posted. I know since I've been going to therapy that I feel so much better mentally. The TTC is not so prevalent in my mind all the time. I know what helps a great deal is not coming on her so much. Actually I'm really just counting my blessings.

I'm so thrilled that you are comfortable where you are right now. I hope and pray you get your natural bfp and healthy baby.

 

[Regalpeas]

Hi! Is it too late for me to ease in on this thread? I sure hope not because this thread has truly struck a chord within me. A chord of hope...

I have seen many a group progress on from LTTC to treatment to bfps to pregnancy...motherhood and so forth. Doesn't matter here or in real life...I have been left behind. And although I am very happy for my family and friends I still feel the ...disappointment. Anyhow glad to find others who understand.


We've been ttc since late summer 2010. That year I had a myomectomy to remove a fibroid the size of an orange out of my uterus. I'd never been pregnant but was told I still could conceive after that surgery. A year and some odd months later DH and went the FS route after testing and scans it seemed everything we OKAY with me except I needed to lose at least 25 lbs and low vit D before the 'RE would do IuI. Dh wasn't so lucky. After 2 SAs dh was diagnosed with abnormal sperm. He had low everything except volume. His DR was very doubtful and nonchalant. So we left for me to loose weight and DH to get his count up. That was over a year ago. I still haven't reached goal which went from 25 to 50 lbs thanks to depression aka my lack of self control over all this. Dh has been in some sort of denial on and off Fert vits...sometimes living healthy sometimes not..complaining the entire way through.

I started to believe he didn't want a child even though he insisted otherwise but now I think he was living in his own depression about his diagnosis. Now we're in counseling but not giving up.

So...do I belong here ladies? Lol

I think so.

 

[here_we_r]

Of course you do. I'm sorry to hear about all your trials...but hey..keep it movn' honey.

We are all in a different place now I think. We've not been as active as we have been on this thread due to needing a break mostly. It just gets hard as I'm sure you know. Glad to have you here. Hopefully the ladies will drag back in and get it started. Hoping for the best for you regal

 

[Sizzles]

Hi there Regalpeas! Sorry to hear of your ttc issues - they are many and varied in this ttc 'game' (I thought games were supposed to be fun!) My 'issues' are that there are no issues, which is frustrating in itself.
As Here says, things have been a bit quiet on here in recent months, but hopefully things will pick up again.

 

[Regalpeas]

Thanks for the warm welcome and kind words, Ladies! I don't post as often as I could myself so I can appreciate a thread that doesn't move quickly.

Here, I totally understand. I've had many breaks myself. It is good for maintaining sanity.

Sizzles, sorry that there are no answers. I think that is the hardest part not knowing. Hang in there. Praying for better days ahead for all of us.

 

[Irish_eyes]

Hello ladies, could I jump in here too?

I have been TTC for over 4 years now with one failed IVF cycle.
I have had all the tests done and DH's has had two SA which are both fine so we are now in the unexplained category.
During our IVF treatment I found out my AMH was 10pmol/L and then 7.6pmol/L. So it dropped a good bit within a year but was told it made no difference.
I know my AMH level is not as low as some but still in the low bracket and somehow I am wondering if this is the cause of our infertility.
At our review apt after our failed cycle I was told my eggs were old. I was a poor responder to the treatment as they only got two eggs, both fertilised but both were only 4 cell on 3 day transfer. I was basically told that one of them would never have resulted in a pregnancy.

After treatment I just put my mind into training for my first marathon.
That in itself was rough on the mind but I completed at the weekend and I am now ready to get back into TTC.
Unfortunately, a miracle is our only option as we have no means of funds for another round of IVF.

So basically, I do feel left behind in everyway including going through treatment again.
I do visit a Reiki practitioner which I think has helped with my positivity on the whole TTC issue.

 

[Regalpeas]

Hi Irish eyes! Welcome! Sorry you have been through so much but hang in there praying your miracle arrives soon.

Do you do accupuncture? Have you had your tubes cleared?

 

[Sib4Owen]

Hi Everyone! It's my first time posting to this thread. Having a rough couple of days and really need to purge some stuff. My husband and I have been trying for #2 for 3 years. I have had a miscarriage every December since 2010. I have had a work up with an RE and was diagnosed with MTHFR factor and diminished ovarian reserve. (I'm 35) My FSH was 10.9 and AMH was 1.54. We decided not to do IUI or IVF (too expensive) and I have been using supplements and recently started acupuncture (first session was 3 days ago). I have 2 best friends that are now 3 months pregnant and are posting ultrasound pics which look exactly like the ultrasound pic of the baby I lost in Dec 2010. I feel so guilty to be so sad about their happiness and that I can't really talk to them about it. Thank goodness they are across the country from me! I know that sounds horrible and so, so selfish and I hate that! I'm just terrified I will never get to experience being pregnant again, holding my new born again, all that stuff that drives you crazy when you're in the moment. The other is that when I try to talk to friends or family, all I get is to be thankful for my son. Well of course I am VERY grateful I have him, he is the light of my life! I love him dearly, but that does not diminish my need for another.

Well thank you all for "listening". I really needed to get all of this out. Good luck to you all! Here's hoping for lots of good news this year!

 

[Family1st]

hello Ladies, Hope you dont mind if I join.

Ive been ttc #1 for over 3 years now. I try to stay positive but its so hard especially when everyone around you (friends, family) all have children partys babyshowers omg its so stressful. Im embarrased to say that I am so jealous and I dont wanna be that person. I rather hide out and not see anyone then attend another kids party.

I just started fertility treatments for unexplained in Jan. My RE put me on 50mg clomid for 4 monitored cycles, I do ovulate on my own and I have normal cycles. I have one cycle left because I took a break this month I couldnt handle more pills. Everything on my side and oh is good/ normal. I plan on doing my first iui next cycle if no bfp happens. Im currently on cd9 waiting to O. I just started doing acupuncture yesterday it was nice and im going to continue to do that for a few mths in hopes of conceiving soon. Ive heard so many bfp with acupuncture so Im hoping it works. Im also starting a new diet only organic foods and no wheat. I take prenatal vit and folic acid daily. I pray this is my year.

thank for taking the time out to read my post,Good luck to all you ladies, its a long road for us.

 

[Sib4Owen]

Good Luck Family1st! I'm right there with you! Feeling jealous, guilty, selfish...all of it. I know it's normal, but that doesn't make it any easier. I just started acupuncture too! Had my first session last Tuesday and go back again on Thursday. Keep me posted on how it's going for you. Where did they put the needles? For me, she put them across my abdomen (ovary to ovary), between my eyebrows, top of my head and a few down each leg and near my ankles. She isn't doing anything to help me conceive yet since I just miscarried (probably chemical pregnancy) in January. She said I need to let my body rest and heal, so for the next 2 months, no trying (but I'm not preventing so we'll see). Good luck to you!

BTW, I'm sure he has been, but I didn't see anything about your DH in your post, has he been tested?

 

[Irish_eyes]

Thanks Regalpeas, I don't do accuputure simply because it's expensive. I have done Reflexology and Reiki. I do get a lot from Reiki though. I would love to look more into Chinese Herbal Medicine. Would you recommend accupuncture?

I had a HSG over two years ago and it came back fine and was referred straight to IVF. I did mention about Clomid and a Lap and Dye test but was basically told that since I ovulate Clomid was not an option as it could reverse my fertility. I was also told that a lap and dye test was not necessary and could cause more problems that it's worth.

Family1st, I feel the same too and it just natural. We have just welcome a new niece into the family this week and it's made me so jealous. If I told DH he doesn't understand and I don't think anyone else who has not been in our situation even if they say they do.

 

[Regalpeas]

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[Regalpeas]

Hi Everyone! It's my first time posting to this thread. Having a rough couple of days and really need to purge some stuff. My husband and I have been trying for #2 for 3 years. I have had a miscarriage every December since 2010. I have had a work up with an RE and was diagnosed with MTHFR factor and diminished ovarian reserve. (I'm 35) My FSH was 10.9 and AMH was 1.54. We decided not to do IUI or IVF (too expensive) and I have been using supplements and recently started acupuncture (first session was 3 days ago). I have 2 best friends that are now 3 months pregnant and are posting ultrasound pics which look exactly like the ultrasound pic of the baby I lost in Dec 2010. I feel so guilty to be so sad about their happiness and that I can't really talk to them about it. Thank goodness they are across the country from me! I know that sounds horrible and so, so selfish and I hate that! I'm just terrified I will never get to experience being pregnant again, holding my new born again, all that stuff that drives you crazy when you're in the moment. The other is that when I try to talk to friends or family, all I get is to be thankful for my son. Well of course I am VERY grateful I have him, he is the light of my life! I love him dearly, but that does not diminish my need for another.

Well thank you all for "listening". I really needed to get all of this out. Good luck to you all! Here's hoping for lots of good news this year!

Welcome Sib! I am sorry for your struggles. Wouldnt wish infertility on my worst enemy. Often the pain is unbearable but there is hope for us. Praying acupuncture works for you! Best wishes

hello Ladies, Hope you dont mind if I join.

Ive been ttc #1 for over 3 years now. I try to stay positive but its so hard especially when everyone around you (friends, family) all have children partys babyshowers omg its so stressful. Im embarrased to say that I am so jealous and I dont wanna be that person. I rather hide out and not see anyone then attend another kids party.

I just started fertility treatments for unexplained in Jan. My RE put me on 50mg clomid for 4 monitored cycles, I do ovulate on my own and I have normal cycles. I have one cycle left because I took a break this month I couldnt handle more pills. Everything on my side and oh is good/ normal. I plan on doing my first iui next cycle if no bfp happens. Im currently on cd9 waiting to O. I just started doing acupuncture yesterday it was nice and im going to continue to do that for a few mths in hopes of conceiving soon. Ive heard so many bfp with acupuncture so Im hoping it works. Im also starting a new diet only organic foods and no wheat. I take prenatal vit and folic acid daily. I pray this is my year.

thank for taking the time out to read my post,Good luck to all you ladies, its a long road for us.

Welcome Family1st! Sorry for all your going through. Hope you get your bfp this go round! Hope it is all our years.

Thanks Regalpeas, I don't do accuputure simply because it's expensive. I have done Reflexology and Reiki. I do get a lot from Reiki though. I would love to look more into Chinese Herbal Medicine. Would you recommend accupuncture?

I had a HSG over two years ago and it came back fine and was referred straight to IVF. I did mention about Clomid and a Lap and Dye test but was basically told that since I ovulate Clomid was not an option as it could reverse my fertility. I was also told that a lap and dye test was not necessary and could cause more problems that it's worth.

Irisheyes! For the life of me I can not understand why the REs would send a couple with unexplained straight to IVF w/o trying IUI first unless the prices are similar.

Have you sought a second opinion?

I have not done acupuncture yet, but it is all the rave these days.
Sometimes eastern medicine has the answers that modern medicine can't give. I've known a few people here that have had it and one person in real life. All have gotten pregnant. The price does seem steep.

What is reflexology? How does a session go?

 

[S_Dowd]

Hello ladies! Mind if I join?

My name is Sara and my husband and I have been TTC #1 for just over 2 years. I have a fear of doctors, so I have avoided any serious testing. My wonderful nurse practitioner just discovered that I have extremely low progesterone, so she is trying to regulate my hormones. She thinks this is why I'm not getting pregnant. Well, so far they are making me have 21 day cycles twice in a row, so she's tweaking the amount I take and it's frustrating, and I don't even think I'm ovulating, anymore. (I was ovulating, just very late in my cycle). I've had to go to 2 kid birthday parties this month, which is always difficult.

I'm just so tired of waiting. It feels like half my newsfeed on Facebook is women who either just had babies, or are pregnant right now. I'm so happy for them, but just wonder when is it going to be my turn? What if I live my whole life and never have a child? I'm a homemaker, and all I've ever wanted is to be a stay at home mom. I have no desire to work outside of the home. I love staying home... I just wish I had little people to take care of, too.

Sorry for the vent... no one understands how hard it is, unless you're going through it. I hope every single one of you gets a sweet little baby, soon!

 

[dodgercpkl]

Hi Ladies. Some of you may know me (I haven't read through the whole 80 pages to see who all is on here), but most of you probably don't. DH and I have been ttc for 3 years come June. In that 3 years, I've been pregnant 6 times, but mc'd each time. My known issues are: PCOS, Hashimotos, MTHFR mutations (homo c677t), age (38 in August though my egg reserve seems good so far), septum, and progesterone deficiency. DH's issues are only MTHFR (compound heterozygous).

I've had an HSG (tubes clear), 2 MRIs, Septum removal surgery (left scarring or a fold), several u/s, and more blood tests then I care to remember. I've changed my lifestyle completely, lost 105 pounds, gotten my PCOS and Hashimotos under control, addressed my MTHFR mutations (no folic acid for this girl!), and have become a close and personal friend to needles of all sorts (*sigh*).

My drs have been a real let down in this journey. My first OB refused to test progesterone during my first pregnancy. She also found the septum, but instead of giving me balanced information about it, told me only that it was nothing and normal and wouldn't cause any issues. After my 2nd miscarriage I started seeing an RE, but I've had to be the one pushing for tests and doing the research. When I had my septum removal done, they refused to do any kind of tests after to make sure that everything was fine after the surgery. They told me that I'd be "so pleased, we got everything and you'll be pregnant in no time!". I thought I covered my bases by insisting on an u/s to check my lining, but no, not all u/s's are created equal.

It wasn't until my 2nd miscarriage after the surgery (6th overall) that I insisted on a blood flow doppler u/s (to check blood flow to my lining during my LP) and found out that the septum story wasn't over and that I had either scarring or a fold that had resulted from the surgery. In addition to that, my 6th miscarriage showed that even on progesterone suppositories, I was progesterone deficient (my numbers dropped way too fast for even a miscarriage to have caused the drop), but I had to push to find that out as all my RE would say at first was to "keep trying"... 6 miscarriages lady! There is SOMETHING wrong that we aren't addressing! Anyway, that was just about the first thing out of her mouth at the meeting that I demanded.

So yeah, a lot of frustration and bitterness here. I've been left behind by nearly all of my friends, even those in recurrent pregnancy loss forums, and it just sucks to always be the cheerleader and never the one being cheered for.

Currently we are on hold with ttc while we wait for the procedure to have the scarring/fold removed. After that is done, I will be demanding another MRI to make sure that this time my uterus lining is free and clear, smooth and ready to go. I never got the doppler blood flow u/s that I wanted (Kaiser sucks basically), so in June (cycle after the hysteroscopy), I'll be finding an outside source to do the u/s as well. HOPEFULLY, we'll be able to be back to ttc in July.

Some of the changes that I've made in this journey: No cheap synthetic vitamins for me (folic acid, I'm looking at you!) - I make sure that my prenatal and all additional supplements that I take contain methylfolate (bio active or broken down form of folate), methylcobalamin (bio active B12), and P5P (bio active B6). I'm also very careful with the forms of Vitamin D and CoQ10 that I take to make sure they are the best, easiest form for my body to use.

Dietary-wise, I've cut processed sugar, simple carbs, gluten, and most dairy from my life. I also try to avoid most processed foods since so many processed foods include folic acid, hidden sugars, or gluten. We cook or bake most of our stuff by hand so that we know what goes into them.

Anyway, that's a long enough intro. I'm sorry that any of us have to be here. It's a long hard journey for us and that just sucks. Hopefully all of us get our sticky bfp's this year

 

[Irish_eyes]

Irisheyes! For the life of me I can not understand why the REs would send a couple with unexplained straight to IVF w/o trying IUI first unless the prices are similar.

Have you sought a second opinion?

I have not done acupuncture yet, but it is all the rave these days.
Sometimes eastern medicine has the answers that modern medicine can't give. I've known a few people here that have had it and one person in real life. All have gotten pregnant. The price does seem steep.

What is reflexology? How does a session go?

Hi Regalpeas, I don't understand it either but I think the system here in Northern Ireland is totally different to the US. After our first appointment for IVF, DH and I booked a private appointment to see if we could get a second opinion or do something else in the wait for IVF. When we got to the appointment the dr thought we were just there to fast track the paperwork for IVF. It was this dr that said that she would not recommend Clomid or a lap and dye test. So I am not sure where else to turn to if this is what I get from a private appointment. Also, my DH moaned and groaned about having to pay for it and it took a lot for me to talk him into it.

Honestly, we are not well off financially as DH's job is seasonal and we spend most of our time saving for the months he doesn't work. And this year he had to go self employed and for some reason his work is slow starting this year so paying for a second opinion is not an option at this point unfortunately.

I have also heard good stuff about accupuncture and CHM too and would love to look into it but again it is the costs. Reflexology is the feet, certain points in your feet relate to areas in your body. You lie on your back and just relax while the reflexologist rubs points in you feet. It's not like getting a foot rub though. I had a good few sessions before my IVF cycle and although they are relaxing they obviously did not work for IVF. Since then I have been going to a Reiki practioner which I find more relaxing and I get more out of it.